nite chat: 4:5

i love you

i'm not going to write anything
after i take the drops tonight
i feel like
i've been a handful
and
that's not really how i think of myself

i had baked chicken
with collard greens
and roasted beets
really comfort food-y

i know
i know
not vegetarian
do not tell the food police

you get a lot of food out of a chicken
you can eat the meat
and then cook the bones to make bone broth
and/or chicken soup

i'm doing well today
i'm grateful for you
and everything you do

this quarantine stuff
i like to think i'm immune to it
because i don't like to go amongst the humans
but
the stress of it all
gets to me

see
i'm so funny
i'm specifically wanting to go to bed early
to reign in the crazy a little bit
but
now i'm sad
that i'm not staying up all night
i love to stay up all night
if i would stay up all night writing
rather than making play lists
then
maybe that would be
a good enough reason to let the crazy roam free
and this is all going to be a test
i'm not unhappy that i'm going to find this out about myself

can i let the crazy free enough to create
but reign it in enough to create like
something
not something conceptual and more or less intangible
but something i could maybe
point to and say
i almost can't say it anyway

do you want to buy this book

i know there's a way to do it on amazon
that doesn't involve having to sell it to like
a publisher or anything
and
right now
that sounds really good
so idk
maybe i'll add that to the list of things to explore
in the next day or two