p.s. get a rich girlfriend

I have little belief that this will post, but if it does it's a sign

I thought 

THIS

was what you wanted 

that you were saying you wanted to 

like forever be here for THIS 

& that you were trying to 

let me see that you

were really 

committing to some

life of the mind

with me

I thought there was some

possibly 

that you wanted

to get to know me irl

to see

BUT 

I thought

when this went down 

I needed to TRY to maintain 

SO

I tried to use other channels 

I wasn't gonna be all

bare my soul

in public

although I kinda did

BUT 

you don't really 

LIKE me, I think 

MAYBE 

I'm somehow more an IDEA 

which I would say is 

FAIR 

except I've been baring my soul to you for twenty something years

I needed to focus on my own head 

for a minute 

& the universe broke my blog

to give me the opportunity 

& you immediately 

realize you are

done with me

SO

MAYBE 

that was what needed to happen 

I hope that was true 

that you were

BETTER 

thank you for breaking my brain

thank you for being there 

making me feel

loved and cared for

thank you 

I LOVE you VERY much 

I'm sorry 

I wasn't enough