quotidienne: coffee + toast 4:9

i feel pretty happy today
i don't know why i needed that card
but it may or may not have anything to do
with my mom
and
if it does
well, i'm trying to keep her safe
she's a grown woman
and there are limits to what i can do
but
she's getting attention
like she hasn't been getting
because even though
it's not live--  like in person
it's every day
and it can go on as long as she likes
which, honestly, isn't that long

but
it's fine
i'm not gonna freak out about it
i am the very model of zen, really


from imperfect produce
i got citrus, mostly
'sposed to be blood oranges (but we'll see)
tangelos
more lemons
and then
also
a couple avocados
some eggs (which are organic and brown)
'sposed to have been a pound of summer squash
but turned out to be one big zucchini
and
looking for snacks
and
holding in mind that berries are nature's answer
to what can i gather that will keep me alive
through it's nutrient density
i got dried berries
golden berries
which i haven't had
but they seem different enough from raspberries
that i figure i'm safe

[i was going to insert a video about golden berries here
but i didn't see anything i thought was just right
and besides maybe you don't want to watch a video
also, you probably know how to find videos if you want them]

berries are always pretty good for you
and i need snacks
i have given up pretending
that i'm not going to have some level
of nervous eating
and these are healthy and low calorie
and even low sugar for fruit

i also got a pineapple
which i am going to roast
because
luau!
have you had roasted pineapple
it's amazing

oh
and i almost forgot
bread
the 7 grain bread from the people who made the raisin bread
it's sprouted grain as well
you never know what you're going to be able to get
from imperfect
there are some things they never have
the never have soy milk
they never have bananas
probably there's more
but those are the things i've noticed

i think the press conference is about to start
so i guess i will end this
and start a new one for that
i don't know that this has really been saying all that much
but it has just been flowing out of me, regardless

i love you you magnificent creature
and
if at any point i'm not giving you what you need
i'm sorry because what i want
so so much
is for you to be happy and healthy
and fucking exalted!