nite chat: 4:24

it's funny
because today i kept thinking
about the scene with the spirit guides
having em kinda bicker back and forth

come on
somebody step up to the plate
she needs a native

why, she's not native
are you sure about that
yeah, i'm sure, i saw her fucking family tree

yeah, but did you see the grandfather
he sure looks native
maybe his daddy isn't really his daddy

look, i'm not interested in some little white kid wants to feel special, understand
we got real kids on the rez need ancestors, dig

right right, but what about all that new age indigo stuff
don't you think that's worth an investment

maybe, but we don't need anybody good for that
hell, send her clyde, he's not busy

i mean, you might not think she's native
but she does, and she's pretty invested in it
i think we should take this seriously

ok, why the hell not, i'm not afraid of a little white girl
she's not related to any of those conquistadores, right
cause i fucking hate them
no, well ok then
i got the cute little girl
i mean, what have i got against white, i'm supposed to come back white, afterall

well, dude, i mean you can be a little much, ya know waht i mean

seriously dude, you were just whinin for somebody to step up
and now i step up in all my feathered glory
and yer saying now it's too much
it is you are are too fuckin much

no no, now calm down
i just mean don't be showing yourself to her
not until she gets older
we really need this one to be like, sane

you are not my boss, for one
you are no fun, for two
and you know good and well
that i'm there doing damage control
for the crappy situation this kid has, for three
so blow it out your ass, but i'll take it under advisement

but i was having a hard time picturing where it was
i mean, not some big cloud-y place
that's supposed to be heaven--  just no
so where then

and then it came to me
when you're riding on the el
is it el or L
anyway there are these apartments
and they have these stair/deck kinda things
that are right across from the el or L
i want to say they are in bucktown
or near there anyway
and i always thought that would be the place to live
sit on the porch and watch the trains

although
that might be loud and distracting
but i just couldn't shake it
that seemed like the coolest thing to me
and then
suddenly
that seemed like the perfect place for my spirit guides
to be having this argument
kickin back
having some beers
watching to see if anybody on the trains noticed them

i know it doesn't make sense
but
it doesn't not make sense either
i mean it's a conference, right
so summer and maybe spring--  chicago
winter and fall--  idk, not america though, i think

whatever
anyway
i'm liking this idea
like interwoven through
and by this idea
i'm not 100% sure if i mean my story
or the spirit guides
or both
i could see it going that way now
there's like my story-ish
and the current bizzaro story
and now i'm seeing the spirit guides almost like a chorus
but not a chorus
they meet at their what semi-annual, quarterly, what, meetings
if it's quarterly then not everybody goes to every one
maybe ya gotta make one or two a year
check in
unless you don't have a person
then ya gotta go to all of em--  ha
there're a few of them
they just got the fomo bad
and they don't want any of these rando lame-o kids
because they don't want to miss out on the perfect kid
so they have to go to meetings
and
something else
they have to add a piece of clothing
or take off a piece of clothing
or something equally silly and embarasing
so everybody makes fun of them

and they're all talking about the bat-shit crazy stuff
that's going on in the world
and sometimes they trade off
or join in as the kids get older

i am really selling myself on this

thank you baby
i'm gonna go do some stuff and then i'll be back
for the poem