quotidienne: coffee + toast 4:21

ok
i'm super super super unhappy now
so
you know how i've never taken a dna test
because what is it gonna tell me that i want to hear
right
well
my brother send me this facebook chat
hey
take a look at this family tree [name removed] is making me do
does this look right?

well
there's all kinds of shit i don't know on there
including my great grandfather's name (allegedly)
which is [name removed]
and i'm all like
i don't believe this name

quintin was a name that deborah batted around
for both of you and dad never liked it
if it had been a family name
you'd think that would have been mentioned

also
the family story was always
that he was killed and thrown in a ditch
for being an indian
and when i would ask what his name was
paw paw always said he didn't know

he was wanting me to tell him
his father's name
so
mostly trying to disprove this shit
i go looking around
and
i find that it's not wrong
and they have his father
and on and on
and they are not indians
any of them
lilly white
but
oh joy of joys
my great great grand father was a civil war veteran
uh huh, that

i mean i knew i wasn't enough indian to count
but i'm not
not at all and i'm crushed
crushed

i am from a whole pack of liars
and
i'm so mad
i could spit