goodnight sweetheart

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I'm sorry I'm not 

FUNNER

sh*t's been 

FOCUSED

MAYBE 

existential 

I'm processing LIKE processing LIKE processing 

BUT not 

SPIRALING loop

& I wish I'd had the forethought or gunption

to reUP tequila 

BUT 

my body is all cracking & popping

like it's RELEASING 

check in whatever day this is -- saturday

I just read yesterday's post

I had a journey 

overnight

&

TODAY 

& I'm voting monday

BUT 

I'm not ready to talk about 

what happened 

TAROT, man

& MBTI

check in

I'm having trouble getting through all the people on the ballot 

SO

I'm going to vote

tomorrow 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I'm sorry I'm all 

not talk-y

I am 

having 

emotions

about

STUFF & I just can't seem to be 

NORMAL 

it's nothing to do with you

it's my stuff

BUT 

I'm just not able to 

be normal right now 

maybe I didn't talk yesterday

I don't think I talked yesterday 

I'm sorry 

I'm in a weird mood 

I'm taking the cat to the vet

& early voting 

today

hopefully I'll be sociable later

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 🫶

february 18th

I'm getting a bunch of calls

I had decided not to

listen to them

TODAY 

I decided 

to STICK to THAT 

BUT 

I also had a headache 

& I decided not to go to work club

I was KINDA off

probably on a spiraling loop

BUT -- low key

I'm not quite where I'd like to be

SANITY wise

& I couldn't articulate 

I FEEL too MUCH to feel like I can LET myself feel 

I'm noticing that I'm not feeling 

ANGER

which would be appropriate 

SO

I think I must have THAT just 

SHUT DOWN 

the pink and green

touched me 

somehow 

& I thought about guantanamo*

*I feel like I should say something else after that but I don't know what else to say

more thoughts -- goodnight sweetheart

I have 

BLUES BROTHERS -- soul man

stuck in my 

HEAD 

I'm not sure what I'm saying to myself 

I LOVED 

saturday night live 

those early seasons 

& I was young enough that you'd think I wouldn't 

be staying up

LATE 

BUT 

I was ALWAYS a nite owl

& I MEAN 

the blues brothers were also 

on a mission from g*d

I watched the midnight special too

at least some of it

I think monty python 

was in there somewhere -- I can't remember 

BUT 

THAT I ALSO LOVED

my father said he didn't like british humor 

--- too dry

BUT 

I liked monty python 

I didn't like

benny hill