more tarot

I don't think I told you my 

CONCEPT 

with the TUMBLEWEEDS 

it's like they're coming up on ya

tumble dee 

& tumble dum -- what's it gonna be

all attitude-y 

it's still a little blurry

I'm thinking 

collage

BUT 

I'm uncertain 

I'd KINDA 

like to stick with black & white

I like how the big manga pen looks

BUT THEN

I liked the look of the fountain pen too

& ALSO 

I don't think it'll look great in manga pen

MAYBE 

the next size smaller

I really like those

PIGMA SENSEI 

I also thought the FOOL originally 

that japanese calligraphy 

what's it called 

ENSO

that was my more complicated version

with big manga pen

the FIREBALLS 

are 

whirling around

FULL of ENERGY

the two of fireballs is -- pick me. pick me.

then the badges are more static 

BUT 

they've got the 

oracular feature

& will have much MORE visual

& RAINDROPS

I'm trying to get an emotional VIBE 

& I'm not quite there

I'm experimenting 

I keep wanting 

it to be

in color

I found a blank cards on eBay

I want to get some kinda

workable sample

so I can test 

HOW 

it WORKS

it is entirely possible that I've made it

TOO literal

& then I'm trying to make the RAINDROPS 

TOO esoteric

a raindrop with a sprouted plant refected inside 

two raindrops 

INTERSECTING

maybe with a rose reflecting inside 

but maybe that's too much 

three I'm not sure yet

four are dripping into a bowl, I think 

five is some kind of representation of flooding 

if I can figure out

HOW 

seven I'm THINKING of

that Escher print

where the birds turn into fish

& then you try to spot

WHERE 

HOW 

that connects with 

RAINDROPS 

eight has an umbrella 

nine is a rainbow made of raindrops 

ten is the water cycle -- which SEEMS TOO MUCH 

I skipped six

I wonder if that's significant 

six is WATCHING rain

through the window 

maybe there's a garden, maybe that isn't necessary 

and the court cards

I didn't even THINK about 

that's a BIG chunk

f*CK

I need to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

thoughts about five

this is an IDEA 

rather than the high priest

which is tradition 

FIVE

if the fives are

about 

struggle against obstacles 

in one way or another

why is their archetype tradition 

WHY isn't it 

BOOK of FIVE RINGS

these are pretty rough -- probably rougher than it'll end up

The FOOL

the MAGICIAN

thoughts february 4th

it's been an interesting day 

that was the nicest interaction 

I've ever had

with a police officer 

THAT 

was KINDA surreal 

I worked at a coffee shop

I liked to shoot the breeze with a guy we called

BOSTON COP*

*I wasn't born a f*ckin cop

gigi's dad was a police detective 

I have actually had a traumatic experience 

with a cop

I've had slightly scary 

I've had very unpleasant 

I've had oh my god wtf

BUT 

most of what I've had is

there are only so many reasons you want to do

that job

& if you started out with good ones

how'd that go

BUT 

this one was

youngish

nice

& in an information gathering mode, afterall

check in february 4th

I just had 

a very nice police officer 

banging on my door 

trying to find out 

if I knew where my mom was

& if I wanted to come get her stuff 

I explained 

the narcissistic abuse break

how I had no place to put her stuff 

& didn't really think it was appropriate for me to 

take it even if I did

BUT 

I did tell her 

the last known whereabouts 

& made sure she had 

the right name

SO

THAT

was exciting

can't sleep a regular schedule

I didn't sleep 

the MORE 

I think about it 

the MORE 

I think your last one

is ACTUALLY 

GENIUS 

or

I've entered some new 

level of reading 

too much 

into to

things

which we all know I'm prone to 

I think 

it's you are genius 

I'm lucky to know you 

goodnight sweetheart here's a creepy angel

I was thinking about the chariot

& I had this IDEA about

wheels within wheels 

& angels

BUT 

this might be too weird 

we don't need no stinkin badges

OK

NOT medals

BADGES

if this works 

it makes it KINDA a combo

of a tarot & Oracle deck

LIKE 

ace -- YES!

two -- a yin yang symbol & juggling award

three -- unity & work & something I'm not sure of 

four -- NO! & whatever, not sure yet

five -- MAYBE 

six -- stronger together 

seven -- wait & see, LOOK, crossing guard, etc

eight -- do the work 

nine -- all access

ten -- YOU WON!

I think I'm doing much better

I'm going to sleep now 

I didn't tell you what happened today 

BUT 

it was a good day 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart