these are pretty rough -- probably rougher than it'll end up

The FOOL

the MAGICIAN

thoughts february 4th

it's been an interesting day 

that was the nicest interaction 

I've ever had

with a police officer 

THAT 

was KINDA surreal 

I worked at a coffee shop

I liked to shoot the breeze with a guy we called

BOSTON COP*

*I wasn't born a f*ckin cop

gigi's dad was a police detective 

I have actually had a traumatic experience 

with a cop

I've had slightly scary 

I've had very unpleasant 

I've had oh my god wtf

BUT 

most of what I've had is

there are only so many reasons you want to do

that job

& if you started out with good ones

how'd that go

BUT 

this one was

youngish

nice

& in an information gathering mode, afterall

check in february 4th

I just had 

a very nice police officer 

banging on my door 

trying to find out 

if I knew where my mom was

& if I wanted to come get her stuff 

I explained 

the narcissistic abuse break

how I had no place to put her stuff 

& didn't really think it was appropriate for me to 

take it even if I did

BUT 

I did tell her 

the last known whereabouts 

& made sure she had 

the right name

SO

THAT

was exciting

can't sleep a regular schedule

I didn't sleep 

the MORE 

I think about it 

the MORE 

I think your last one

is ACTUALLY 

GENIUS 

or

I've entered some new 

level of reading 

too much 

into to

things

which we all know I'm prone to 

I think 

it's you are genius 

I'm lucky to know you 

goodnight sweetheart here's a creepy angel

I was thinking about the chariot

& I had this IDEA about

wheels within wheels 

& angels

BUT 

this might be too weird 

we don't need no stinkin badges

OK

NOT medals

BADGES

if this works 

it makes it KINDA a combo

of a tarot & Oracle deck

LIKE 

ace -- YES!

two -- a yin yang symbol & juggling award

three -- unity & work & something I'm not sure of 

four -- NO! & whatever, not sure yet

five -- MAYBE 

six -- stronger together 

seven -- wait & see, LOOK, crossing guard, etc

eight -- do the work 

nine -- all access

ten -- YOU WON!

I think I'm doing much better

I'm going to sleep now 

I didn't tell you what happened today 

BUT 

it was a good day 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart