I fell asleep writing this I'm awake to pee now going back to sleep 🫶

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I thought about you 

& I watched some 

ani videos

& I had a headache and took a nap

I had a lot of dreams 

that I don't remember 

& things moved around in some way

I'd have to call

gravitational 

although I can't yet explain what I mean by that

I hope you are having a beautiful day 

& I hope 

I'm not seeming to pull away

because I'm trying not to do that

while simultaneously 

not focusing

MORE 

on what you might want me to do 

that what I think I need to do

because my balance on that kinda stuff is not 

CALIBRATED right

long incoherent ramblings

I feel like 

TODAY 

I should have been taking 

NOTES 

I coved a lot of material 

& at points

I'm LIKE 

SO

MUCH 

PROGRESS

& then at other points

maybe not as much as you're thinking you are

internal weather 

heyoki empathy

doing things because of freaky scripts that come from where

percussion 

OH

HEY

this is the progress part

I have been building a 

NEW BRAIN 

SO

if I think differently 

OF COURSE 

I do

& I KNOW that doesn't 

SAY anything 

& that it's possible to make that SOUND BAD 

& I can make anything 

SOUND BAD

THAT

is part of the bad programming 

at points in the past

I have felt an enjoyment of 

things like

TEACHING 

& I could read the room

I THINK 

menopause was an important part

of the emerging audhd or whatever

& then the pulling inward of the pandemic

like activated the "autistic" something 

SO

it's LIKE 

I WAS

some KINDA way

BUT 

I'm not looking to go back

BUT 

also I don't think I could

I thought about

the stripped back quality

of the guitar

in the storm that's coming for you

how it's almost percussion 

what's my inner weather

what is my resonant

SOUND

I had some technical difficulties 

with the purchase online music 

& that told me it's not the right time

SO

UP and DOWN 

there's this WAY in which

I'm figuring out 

HOW I FEEL 

about 

ME

so I'm not letting any of that sneaky psychological stuff 

ruin anything 

& THIS probably doesn't come across as

COHERENT 

& MAYBE it isn't 

BUT 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

& I am thinking about 

dancing with you

I want to dream about that

sleep is good

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much