II nite chat: 5:27

i'm not sure how i reached such a quick reversal
but
i'm not surei want to do the daf yomi anymore
at some point
looking around the youtubes
i found a video about quakers
oh
i think i know what i was doing
i was looking at all the history bounding
and i was like
what i really want is like a quaker/shaker outfit
with the long skirt apron bonnet trifecta
so i was looking for that
and
i found something else

i'm not sure which thing it was
or how it was different from
other times i've looked up quakers
but
somehow
this time something hit me different
and
suddenly
it seemed like the quakers
were all basically saying
they do what i do

except
i'm not sure i'm prepared for that intense
of a community participation in my life
but
suddenly
even though i found a daf yomi teacher from toronto
i'm just not sure that i can get that into it

i know i said it was seductive
but
i don't necessarily see that as a good thing

it was really weird though
i was watching these videos about quakers
and i was all like i want to go
i could go this sunday, right
and then
it all came crashing back
no
it's zombie apocalypse
no body's having religious meetings
but
that's the first time i've forgotten
that's the first time i've wanted to leave the house

and
i know
daf yomi was they key
but
the way all this works
is
that the key might not end up being the answer
it's the thing that opens the door

so
i'm not sure

but
i started to listen to 3
and i was like wait, no, i already know this stuff
about the braying of the donkey
and the howling of the dog
and the baby waking up to be fed
i don't want to hear it again
and now that i'm analyzing it
it's from reading adam kirsch
so
maybe that is a better source than i thought

and
maybe
the thing that always put me off the quakers
at the end of the day
was
they are still kinda christians
in some way, as opposed to not christians
but
they aren't very christian
not dogmatically
and idk
i'm liking them now
so
idk

i wanted to go to meeting
i forgot about the plague for a minute
that's gotta mean something
so
i'm not turning it loose yet
i'm looking into it more

you don't care
do you