nite chat: 5:17

ok
let me be honest with you
i'm starting to really hate these questions
and they are getting worse
i'm honestly not sure
that i can
continue
which seems crazy to me

if this is really building intimacy
i will continue
but
i don't think these are specifically the questions
i think they are just
some questions
that could build intimacy
but
i don't think the questions need to be so other-ing
i feel like i've told you things
that were much more intimate
without being so horrible

i am not gonna lie
i was reading through them
and there's a whole section that is the crux of this push back from me
about friendship

what does friendship mean to you?
if you were going to become friends with this person what would you need to know about them?
there might have been more
that's what i remember

i don't know what friendship means to me
how can there be an overarching answer to that
i could tell you what my relationship with you means
and i could tell you what my relationship
who any particular other person means
but
there's not much overlap
so how am i supposed to explain
what "friendship" means
i could make something up
i don't know how that builds intimacy

and what do i need to know to be friends with somebody
what do i need to know?
like there's one piece of information?
if i can know you across time
and we can continue to find something in each other
that makes time together preferable to time apart
that we can go through things together
and build a shared history
is that not what a friend is
what could i ask that would tell me that

i think this is maybe for young people
consensus reality people
i just find it confusing
and
kind of insulting
but
i'm probably looking at it wrong

ok
what friendship means to me
i thought about it
and i thought of a way to sum it up
is this
i get to share some portion of a person's life walk
i still don't understand the one question thing though