vices

OK

this is an example of 

WEIRD maybe dopamine chasing

I was looking on 

DROMGOOLE'S website 

for a 2026 hobonichi weeks 

I like to write in them

& sometimes I can get them on sale

because I don't really care what year they are

I just like the size and shape for writing 

BUT 

I decided 

MAYBE I DO want one as a planner, maybe

dromgoole's is a local stationary store

they were sold out 

BUT 

they had a fountain pen 

HALF PRICE (after season sale) 

that caught my attention 

it's facetted or like has flat bits instead of round

& I really want a facetted pen because it won't roll off the table and whatever 

there IS a specific one I WANT of course 

BUT 

that one is too expensive & is probably not going to happen 

SO

I LOOKED at it more carefully 

& it's SUPERMAN 

fortress of solitude 

from the new

WOKE SUPERMAN 

& the pen is made by

or at least SOLD by a Canadian company 

& fortress of solitude 

IDK

I just too much related

SO

I had to watch every video review on YouTube 

& convince myself that I needed it

which, I mean, I don't really 

& THEN 

I didn't want the shimmer ink it comes with 

I've decided 

I like hongdian ink 

it's inexpensive 

the bottle EXACTLY matches 

what I WANT aesthetically 

from an ink bottle 

& the bottle of coral I bought

to use to EXTEND the use of my FANCY 

COLORVERSE ink

is almost all I use now

f*CK the colorverse, I prefer the hongdian 

it's smoother and wetter & IDK 

I just like it BETTER 

SO

NOW

I have to watch all the swatching videos 

for all the hongdian ink colors 

& decide which one I want for this new pen

THIS 

is REALLY NOT essential 

BUT 

I can't NOT 

it's this decompression thing

SO

NOW I have

a fortress of solitude pen

& gray hongdian ink 

which I tried to talk myself out of

because I'm afraid that I'll just say

NOT 

montblanc oyster grey

because I used to use that in cartridges in my work pens at world market for years

& I love that color (discontinued)

this gray will probably be too dark

maybe also too cool toned 

but the peacock is too bright 

the blackish green is too dark

the blueish gray is too blue

the brown is not the right feel for the fortress of solitude and besides I have two bottles of brown ink that I already like the color of but don't use because they are dark ink and I like mid tone ink

SOMEHOW 

this is all part of my

"important identity work"

in my HEAD 

BUT 

it's not 

it feels 

CRITICAL 

BUT 

it's VERY extraneous 

& involves spending money which is not 

needing to be spent