although I can't explain
it's like
the bits are INTENSE
but they don't FEEL integrated
I had these loose ends
I couldn't quite handle
did not respond to therapist
WHAT was I gonna SAY
BUt
I didn't
RESPOND
I got a text
CANCELLING
& I can't take it seriously
it just is already ABSTRACTED
lucy reached out
I haven't responded
I feel like it would be
what I should
MAYBE do
BUT
the gesture of reaching out
is supposed to be
to help
& I think she is trying to help
BUT
I don't want to talk about it with her
I don't have the strength
I cannot explain
I feel like I
SHOULD
be able to explain
I'm not convinced this is not
REALLY WEIRD
