I was just KINDA floating
I decided not to run around & do things
I thought you wanted to do
LAUNDRY
tomorrow
I'll do laundry tomorrow
TODAY
I'm going to rest
& I'm not gonna f*CKing quibble about it
NO
feeling guilty
for not being productive
NO
well I deserve x,y,z
BECAUSE
I am VERY pleased with how I handled myself
YESTERDAY
JUST -- I decide
NOT
worrying
about the future
not worrying
about the state of the world
not just saying I'm not doing those things
mostly
I don't think I'm going back to my therapist
I feel hesitant to SAY that
I'm not saying
I'm sane
I THINK
I've changed my MIND about
HOW
helpful
I think it is
I mean
I don't KNOW
I'm working on some things
I THINK
after I SEE how
THAT goes
I'll have a BETTER idea how to proceed
PLUS
doesn't it just seem like the universe
telling me
something
BUT
MAYBE
I'm not seeing it clearly
maybe I've been psychotic
& I just haven't noticed
It feels like
one more thing I don't have the energy for
NOT
oh dear g/d I needs me some therapy
I still have some problems
he could help me with
& I do care about him
BUT
I don't KNOW how to
EXPLAIN
LIKE
where I'm AT
WHO
I am NOW
it feels
DISRUPTIVE
at THIS
particular moment
BUT
MAYBE
that's rooted in some sense
that the VALUE is in my having to organize my thoughts around EXPLAINING
MYSELF
THIS SEASON -- ALREADY in PROGRESS
