the earlier and through mid-afternoon
part of today
I got texts and phone calls
from possibly people trying to reach my mom
BECAUSE
when she checked herself in to the REHAB facility
she ONLY gave them my phone number
& I guess she didn't bother to correct it
when she was setting everything up
SO
EVERYBODY is trying to reach ME
SO
the people who texted
I'm LIKE
WRONG number
BUT
the one who called I let go to voicemail
& for some reason it wouldn't show the number
USUALLY it would
SO
I texted & called her case worker
& SAID
could you please make sure everyone has HER number
THEN
I texted her
BUT
I decided since she was supposed to confirm stuff TODAY I would call her
SO
I called her & SAID
HEY
you need to call everyone and give them
YOUR number
you only gave the hospital mine
PEOPLE are calling to confirm stuff
she's LIKE
can't you just give them
my number
NO
they called voicemail
didn't leave a number & I couldn't bring it up
then I hung up
THEN
I spent some time
grappling with
WHAT
I might be willing to do
& how long a transition
& WHY I'm so fixated on keeping her safe
whether it all just comes down to
CONDITIONING
OR
societal norms
& THEN
I ordered pizza
DRANK margaritas
& watched stand-up comedy
Ali Wong x2, Trevor Noah, Fortune Feimster
I'm trying to remember the wording
something about
SOUL contracts
& coming through the other side
lessons you sent yourself
here to learn
