BOUGHT extra WATER
& STUFF
people behaving badly
empty shelves
then I filled up my gas tank
then I said wtf and went to spec's & bought
TEQUILA
I'm going to my mom's apartment tomorrow
check her mail
leave the water drip
turn on the heater to idk forty-five, maybe
it's currently completely OFF
I MIGHT drive her car
I might drive mine some more
I contemplated
should I go check in with the doctors
or therapists
& here's where I came down
I don't want to see her
if she isn't willing to do what she can to help herself with the fluid retention
& I do not have ANY BUSINESS even asking her
THEN
I guess I don't need to be getting up
& dragging myself down there
wearing out my knees
stressing myself
worrying about
trying to do
WHAT I can to move the needle
she's SAFE there
& she'll do MORE for the therapists if she's not
showing ME how decrepit she is
SO
I don't SEE any compelling reason to go
for her benefit
& I don't WANT to
SO
NOT GOING
then of course it won't be safe to go
saturday, sunday, or monday
BECAUSE
ICE
stay home UNLESS you HAVE to be there
& I don't
maybe she'll freak out
MAYBE she won't notice
it makes no difference to me
