I feel like I'm being dramatic
BUT
I don't see how I can even be around her
anymore
I haven't told you everything
& I mean
I handled it all at the time
BUT
I just feel like it's
BROKEN
irreparably
I don't want her to be in an unsafe situation
BUT
I don't think I can stand her
ANYMORE
we went through TOO MUCH gaslighting
TOO MUCH
WATCHING her
JUST throw everything at me
TRYING to HARDCORE manipulate me
JUST the level of f*CKing with me and NOT GIVING a sh*t AT ALL about me
I don't expect her to be grateful
BUT I would sort of expect
her to CARE a little bit
BUT
NO
PLUS
I maybe SAID too much
being FACED with
HOW I feel about her
MAYBE it's just too much
WHY couldn't she just be happy with what I could do, without killing myself
without losing myself
I TOLD her every step of the WAY
I wouldn't be her caregiver
COULD NOT be
BUT
she won't be satisfied
AND
she did the nasty thing she DOES when she ENDS friendships the CONTEMPTUOUS
voice & look & whatever
& I just feel like she only cares about using me
I don't feel even a little bit of the shadow of a little girl playing with her doll kind of love
JUST HATE
& I can't get it out of my mind
I don't WANT to be her daughter anymore
I just want away from her
I don't want to buy groceries for her
I don't want to take her to doctor appointments
I don't want anything to do with her
this doesn't SEEM mature
BUT
she isn't SAFE for me
she's a f*CKing HATE BOMB
THIS
is MORE
ALREADY than I can tolerate
I don't want to SEE her again
I don't want to ever do anything else for her
AND
AGAIN I say
THAT seems dramatic
BUT
I didn't love her before
& I don't hate her
or resent her
I wish her well
BUT
I don't want anything to do with her
she's TOO
TOXIC
& I know it's maybe wrong to leave her to fend for herself, but
this last BIT just
isn't old business
it's new business
& NO
