I think a LOT of the things
I take joy in
are
the little things that
WORK for me
LIKE
the SIZE and SHAPE and FEEL of things
on the ONE HAND seems
TRIVIAL
BUT
it doesn't SEEM trivial
it SEEMS like
it gives me MORE SPOONS which we're TRYING to not just PRETEND isn't an ISSUE
we're trying to
take into account
I'm REQUIRED to point out
THIS
FINDING the PERFECT thing
which is possibly dopamine seeking
OR
the predominant fun puzzle THING
that is my THING
it is impossible to strip out
did I do THIS to play a game I like to play
OR
was I doing a PROCESS that leads to BETTER outcomes
& the truth is
I'm generally suspicious
it's NEW experimentation
& it hasn't
PROVEN itself EITHER way
SO
I can CLAMP DOWN but I'm trying not to
BECAUSE
I'm trying to DEVELOP a
COHESIVE
ME
& this either works
or it doesn't
but I have to do it
to SEE
