about how
I am
or
RATHER
trying to figure out
HOW I SEEM
HOW
different I might be
from "normal" people
& I don't KNOW, really
I have been TOLD
that I have a wall, and to be honest
I'm not really sure what
that MEANS to the people who have said it
I don't KNOW in what WAY I could be
MORE
that would MEAN anything
I think I have some stuff
I don't really KNOW
I SUSPECT
because I was raised by people who had
KINDA broken
sh*t themselves
SO
while I guess I've learned
A LOT
I've got a
SPIKEY skillset
I FEEL like
MOST people
don't THINK they are WORTHY
& I don't think THAT about myself
BUT I DO have
SOMETHING
I don't think OTHER people
VALUE me
THAT'S
PROBABLY true
BUT
they ALSO don't SEEM to SEE me, mostly
SO
WHY would they, ya KNOW
it's NOT LIKE
OH, me
I am the sh*t
I have THINGS I really like
about myself
& things
I don't
& ALSO
there are things I understand are not so lovable
BUT
sometimes I DO like those THINGS
I have BODY issues
& I have issues of LIKE
having grown up female in the world
AND
I start to WORK myself UP
about this STUFF
AND
WHAT!?
BOTH mommy and daddy issues
AND
am I SANE !?
WHO is !?
AND
EVERYBODY has some sh*t, ya KNOW
I FEEL like
I've been WORKING on it
PRETTY hard
& I'm NOT feeling like I'm WHERE I
WANT to BE
BUT
I'm FEELING much LESS
CRAZY
I am confident
this NEW brain IS MUCH better
BUT
there's a BUNCH of stuff going on in there
AND
in large part I don't KNOW
WHAT it is
OR
rather, I can FEEL sh*t going on
I don't know what it is
THIS is
SUPER ramble-y
I WANTED to
TALK to you
BUT
I don't think
I'm making much sense
I gotta take the cat to the vet early
SO
I shoulda BEEN asleep
I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋
goodnight 🫶 🫶 🫶
👾🫚🍀❤️🔥
