I journey I have gone through TODAY
SO many things
I want to TALK about
I'm so tired
We got this FUN monster tempra PAINT
I just remember TEMPRA being
horrible in elementary school
BUT
this stuff THINS out similar
to WATERCOLOR
& it works similarly to ACRYLIC
thicker
BUT
with a SOFTER quality
my FAVORITE customer came in
his name is JOHN*
when he FIRST came in
he was trying to SALVAGE a tile
BACKSPLASH
he had painted as a CUSTOM job
TURNED OUT he didn't know TILE well
I THINK he had WATERCOLOR painted
the TILES that is & they FADED
in the FIRING
ANYWAY I guess the point is
he's ALWAYS doing something INTERESTING
& he's always trying to get AWAY
& he paints with WATERCOLOR
TODAY he walked in with a BOOK
that I might NEED
BUT
I could just SEE turner
so I THOUGHT he was gonna want
TURNER YELLOW
he SURPRISED me
he wanted LEMON YELLOW
& we talked about PRIMATEK colors*
SODALITE
we talked about BRUSHES***
I'm not sure how old he is
I THINK he might be a VIETNAM VET
BUT
maybe I'm just being dramatic
he SEEMS about the right age
& he had just come from the VA
I thought about YOU
ALL DAY
BUT
I can't really tell you about it
I don't think I can keep up
with my brain
since I still have to cycle through
all permutations
apparently
I'm SUPER slow
like maybe I know something BEFORE
I know it & then REALIZE it later
it's KINDA freaking me out
ALTHOUGH
since that's my THING
I'm not sure WHY
can't REMEMBER where Tom lives
WISH I could say hi to FRED
I feel like I got a lotta moving parts
around here
maybe I can get a handle on things tomorrow
I have THERAPY tomorrow
I FINALLY made him realize
what I'm talking about
&
I feel like
I'm in FLUX
& I don't want him to do whatever he THINKS
is going to make me
figure out my VISION right NOW****
I mean I don't feel like he could throw me
off my game or anything
BUT
at the same time
although I mentioned the "spirit guide"
telling me to start my own religion
I also said I didn't think it was a good idea
I did not say
oh YEAH I think I forgot to mention
I'm on a MISSION from God
&
I'm actually trying to figure THAT all out
I don't really want to take an inventory of my five highest skill set areas
I don't want anything INTENSE either
I don't feel SOLID at all
BUT
I don't know whether to try to have a plan
or just see what he throws at me
and respond
I need to try and sleep
I want to WRITE you clever
beautiful
STUFF
but all I seem to have the bandwidth for
is confused ramblings about my day
& I'm ALREADY three episodes
BEHIND
& ANXIETY
WHY am I like that
*this just struck me as funny
**Daniel Smith watercolors using natural minerals
***which are on sale 40% off
****he made it sound like oh yes of course now I understand ok next session
