it JUST occurs to me
there are two things I need to make SURE
I CLARIFY
I have a PROBLEM
with allowing myself to be VULNERABLE
I don't think I am like
FULL ON
avoidantly attached
but
I MEAN you've met me
AND
all that stuff about
taking the apprenticeship
& spinning it into GOLD as vindication
DOES NOT
mean that that's the END of US
or that I don't STILL believe in US
WHAT it means
is that I want to be the HERO of my OWN LIFE
I want to be a god rather than an angel
AND
I DON'T want YOU
to be SOME TROPHY
I want to prove something to myself
do this thing
that YOU have ACTIVATED
because YOU are part of this plan god has
quite frankly
whether you knew about it or not
SO
I'm trying to be VULNERABLE to you
I'm trying to give you the CONTEXT you
might otherwise wish you had
I DON'T want to JUMP you
you do not need to be afraid of THAT if you were
I am deeply attracted to you
which is about YOU
not anything specifically physical I think
but I don't NOT imagine it ya know
SO trust is restored
that is possible
BUT NOT specifically necessary
ALSO
because of the weirdness of bodies
& identity
I have a VERY broad definition of
what COUNTS as physical intimacy
I'd say all of that works in your favor
no matter what you most desired outcome
SO
just visualize what would make you
the MOST HAPPY
& the steps it would take
to get to THAT place
because when I was a kid
and people asked me
what do you want to be when you grow up
I WANT to be HAPPY
and I want that for YOU too
