more or less comfortable
with GIRL
because I do feel connected to
the person I was as a child
& that didn't seem
to contain the thing
I find
so objectionable about the IDEA of WOMAN
I mean I DID want to be a ballerina
in video games
I NEVER choose a male character
it ISN'T that I want to be a MAN
I was ALSO wildly unsuccessful
trying to be a lesbian
& NEVER felt like I fit into THAT
community at all
BUT
"normal" people
aren't my jam either
I'm not sure HOW I would CURRENTLY
describe my sexual orientation
I THINK
I become attracted to the physical
AFTER I become attracted to
the ESSENCE
which is SOMETIMES more
BRAIN & sometimes
more PERSONALITY
but is person specific
I've been THINKING about
your forearms a lot the last few days
& the way you move
which is physical
BUT
specific to you
I don't know if that's helpful
or just weird
