I was down in the lobby, or whatever 

getting breakfast 

& somebody 

was on the

big tv

I couldn't HEAR because the sound was off

BUT I'm LIKE 

is that

DREW 

CAREY!?

in a pale pink suit

& there was a woman in a dress

that I can honestly say 

I've NEVER seen 

BEFORE 

Glitter background 

with pastel not glittery flowers

KINDA sixties

POP ART

HOMAGE

price is right

I used to watch THAT when I was a kid

THEN

people are up

doing the

SPIN the wheel

& I have a psychic FLASH

& THIS is an EXAMPLE of how

in the REAL world 

the psychic sh*t

isn't THAT useful 

THAT guy 

he's gonna spin 💯

SO

he SPINS

& he gets 30

OH well

WRONG 

BUT 

he gets to SPIN AGAIN 

the TOTAL

should be as close to 💯

WITHOUT 

GOING 

OVER

he SPINS 

💯

SO

it was RIGHT 

BUT 

NOT 

SUPER 

useful for PREDICTIONS 

in ACTUAL situations 

BUT 

I FORGOT 

I enjoy

game shows

i WANT a 

DISCO

ball

I have 

NEVER BEFORE 

wanted one

the tarot says 

you don't 

FEEL 

that way

it SAYS 

you think I

TRANCENDED them

OR

SOMETHING like that 

I FEEL LIKE 

this is one of those THINGS 

where my take

is just

HARD

for other people to 

UNDERSTAND 

BECAUSE 

I'm pretty sure 

I understand what people are talking about 

BUT 

what I'm doing is 

MOVING on into the FUTURE 

just WITHOUT them

they aren't 

INVITED

on my 

ADVENTURES

& they don't really want to go on them anyway

they want me to 

BEHAVE

in SOME certain WAY

that fulfils 

SOME

IDEA they have in their heads

BUT 

it's nothing to do with ME

I've GONE

OFF

all those SCRIPTS 

I do feel like 

they SHOULD understand MORE 

& I WORRY that

MAYBE 

the twenty years 

I've spent 

EXPLAINING myself to you

MAYBE 

wasn't VERY useful for you

MAYBE 

it hasn't made sense 

OR

MAYBE 

ONLY 

people like me

KNOW 

the tarot

HOWEVER 

thinks

you're PRETTY happy with me

I guess this 

IDEA

that I'm not forgiving 

that I'm 

BITTER 

I'm concerned that 

YOU 

FEEL that way

MAYBE 

SO

I've been giving it 

SOME THOUGHT 

I'm NOT 

I don't THINK 

HOLDING a grudge 

I AM 

PRONE 

to grudge holding 

BUT 

I've done a lot of 

WORK 

on it

I pretty much 

NEVER

think about Deborah in my day to day life

I DON'T 

wish her harm

BUT 

I SEE

NO REASON to 

have ANY

CONTACT 

I think she was just being herself 

and I THOUGHT she treated 

ME bad

BECAUSE I was the

REDHEADED step-child

BUT 

dad wouldn't let her spank me or hit me at ALL

& she REALLY resented THAT 

AND

I felt like she made up for it with jason 

I was afraid he was gonna have brain damage 

from the number of times

she HIT him 

in the HEAD 

SO

I MEAN 

I don't NEED to work with her to

BUILD some BETTER future

she's a BAD person 

by MANY different metrics 

& she's NOT someone 

I would associate 

with

if I weren't RELATED to her

& GUESS what 

I'm NOT 

I understand that she's jason's 

MOTHER 

SO

HE

has a different

EQUATION 

if I had a kid

I don't think I would want them to know my mom

I FOR SURE 

would NOT allow them to be around her

UNSUPERVISED 

the fact that jason has solved his equation 

by re-writing his history 

is within his rights to

DO

BUT 

I DON'T 

ENDORCE 

THAT 

this guy almost ran over me with this scooter

when I walked out of

& I WANTED vegan pistachio ice cream*

*made with coconut milk 

BUT 

it wasn't worth standing next to a bunch of people for however long that would take

in FACT

I don't think I would ever eat ice cream again 

if I had to stand amid people in line to get it

BUT 

DULUTH 

charmed me