is for some little one
that are at the studio
&
I look fatter
to me
in that picture
than I THINK
I am
I have not been weighing
but
I look thinner
NAKED
&
I was leaning back weird
to get the shot
BUT
I AM STILL fat
just normal fat
not SCARY fat
AND
CPTSD
has some overlap
with borderline
& I was ALWAYS like
I don't have ANY
black and white thinking
it's ALL gray
&
I DON'T split
I see the best and the worst
SOMETIMES
specifically separated out
usually not
BUT
even then
STILL
at the same time
ie. NOT splitting
ALSO
I don't think I have
all this
self hatred stuff
BUT
EMOTIONAL FLASHBACK -- that seems right
