I'm listening to
Killing Commendatore
again
he's got a new book
I was trying to get
BUT
it isn't out yet
SO
I'll have it in November
because I just
used a credit
I just started
Killing Commendatore
I'm not very far back in
there is an element to murakami
that feels so
familiar
I identify
BUT there is ALSO
an element to him
that is
alienating to me
I had forgotten
his description of the women
he had sex
with
I MEAN
there's a WAY
in which
I get
he's looking back
he's describing
events
in a particular way
& it makes sense
BUT
I still have this
LIKE
negative-adjacent reaction to the WAY
he's looking at & describing
the women
their limited ascribed motivation
the way he
KINDA
has interest in them
without caring
really
at all
it's vulnerable
BUT
icky
it bounces me out
LIKE
verfermdungseffekt
AND
then I have to stop
& ask myself
is it meant that way
