femininity
is free-ing if you've been raised
with expectations
of masculinity
& NOT
if THAT was the
CAGE
they wanted to put YOU in
I THINK
people should be
FREE to EMBODY
WHATEVER
makes them comfortable
MAYBE
the fact that I am NOT
COMFORTABLE
in the presence
of a certain
TYPE
of feminity
is something I THOUGHT I had worked through
I guess
I'm not as comfortable with
MYSELF
as I thought I was
ALTHOUGH I think I've always been pretty honest
about issues
AND
I was going to tell you
I'm pretty sure
I have gained a little weight
my face in the passport picture
vs the picture in the glasses store
BUT
I'm still wearing the same clothes
I'm going to be dieing
the THING is
I THINK
my body has been changing
SO
I'll be like
well MAYBE you've gained weight
BUT
your definition in your arms
SEEMS more defined
WHICH doesn't
SCREAM
FATTER
I'm
PRETTY SURE I've got more fat on my back
BUT
there's something BETTER about
the SHAPE of
my TORSO
I'm LIKE
I was doing something
DIFFERENT
& I'm pleased with the results
I think maybe
it's not possible to
NURTURE
something without improving it
& I have been nurturing myself
maybe not completely or
PERFECTLY, but
CONSISTENTLY
& with
CARE
BUT
whether I've actually changed
or whether it's a dysmorphia
I definitely feel
BETTER
about
me
I had another one of those
WEIRD FASCIA
THINGS
all on my right back and side
it's mostly done
I think
I am just about at the point
where I feel
CLOSE to
pretty good
rather than not bad being the best it could get
BUT
I've noticed myself saying
nothing really hurts
I feel pretty
GOOD
SO
I GUESS
what I'm actually saying is
PHYSICALLY
I feel
LESS ALIENATED
