when I was about eight 

Bill told me

if I kissed my elbow 

I would turn into a boy

& I tried 

SO

HARD

I don't think that was because 

I thought I WAS REALLY a BOY

& I've never liked 

the IDEA of plastic surgery 

SO idk

I don't think I would have thought I needed to transition 

BUT 

I might have 

& THEN 

I don't know if I would have been happy with that 

my thing is MORE 

what is all this gender specific feeling

WHAT do you

MEAN

BUT 

THEN I SEE it 

& I guess 

it makes me feel

some UNCOMFORTABLE way