I went out to eat

I had meat

& alcohol

I walked there

I took a nap*

*chronologically before eating out which was earlier than I usually eat but it was the only meal of the day ~4pm-ish and I took the nap because my cat decided I looked like a comfortable pillow and he hasn't been sleeping on me because his pancreatitis is acting up 

I decided I'm not going to have a big meal for thanksgiving 

I'm going to fast 

or semi-fast

for this period

because 

I want to 

lose some weight 

I couldn't get exactly the same supplements

so I mixed it up

& I'm pretty pleased

with the changes

so far

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

I'm not going to bed YET 

BUT 

I'm not sure what I want to talk about 

I'm trying not to 

let myself 

freak out

I'm just trying to build myself up 

physically 

psychologically 

whatever I need to do

to get my 

MIND

RIGHT 

for whatever it is that's gonna happen 

I'm seeing 11:11

just because I THINK something 

doesn't mean it's right 

BUT 

it doesn't mean it's wrong either 

this is probably not 

the conversation 

you hoped for

because I MEAN 

I'm not SAYING anything 

BUT 

I am saying I'm okay 

or at least

I think I'm okay

I hope you are BETTER than okay 

sometimes talking is hard