COMPLETE UNKNOWN
&
I found it
SOMEWHAT
disturbing
it's
BRINGING
STUFF
UP
is THAT
WEIRD
I mean it seemed to me like everyone loved it
I wasn't expecting anything
CHALLENGING
it's LIKE
you're
NOT
SEEing it FROM his PERSPECTIVE
I didn't get THAT at FIRST
BUT
the LACK allows you to
FILL in
AND
I had trouble with that
NOW
MAYBE
their take on it was
there's no there there
I would say
the whole carnival angle
I MEAN
I don't find it hard to
BELIEVE
that he worked at a carnival
BUT
in the film it is repeatedly treated as
SOME SORT of shorthand
for his
ENIGMA machine*
*this is me using shorthand. I describe it more wordily as melting himself into something and pulling himself back into his own form, now including that
SO
then I'm
CONFLICTED
is he a person who uses people up
& spits them out
is he a person who was inspired by
a person, or a movement
who then got caught up
in the workings
& priorities
& HAD to BREAK FREE
is this an
INDIVIDUATION issue
I FOUND myself
ARGUING
BOTH
SIDES
BUT
I did find
it was harder to argue
BECAUSE
it was NEVER clear to me
WHAT
he cared about
AND
THAT FELT like
a DELIBERATE CHOICE
LIKE
MAYBE he was just
DRIVEN
OR
MAYBE
he just wanted to do his thing
& EVERYONE could SEE
HOW GREAT
he was
& JUST wanted to glom onto him
& they were
SMOTHERING him
it left me
WONDERING
HOW
I FEEL about ALL that STUFF
BUT
SOME of THIS
is already
KINDA
uncomfortable ground
AND
I'm KINDA old-school
I believe that
ART-- to some degree-- has it's own life
there's a LINE-- of course
BUT
I don't have to
DECIDE
do I THINK
blah blah = whether or not I can
think his music is or has blah blah
this was a philosophical view point that was
under scrutiny when I was in college
& I think is largely
swung the other way
BUT
I LARGELY feel
ART CHANNELS THROUGH
MAYBE
it's a ROMANTIC
NOTION
or a mysticism
