& my therapist had
JUST
texted me
LIKE
five minutes before
RESCHEDULING
EXCEPT
NOT
EXACTLY
his thyroid doctor WANTED him to come in
for ANOTHER
MRI
because he had some
WEIRD result
COULD I
come in Thursday
OR
he could tell them he couldn't come in
WHAT
I'm gonna SAY
YEAH f*CK your MRI buddy
you GET your happy *SS up here and listen to ME
BUT
I MEAN
it is STARTING to FEEL like
it MUST be a
TEST
of SOME kind
I MEAN
my assessment of him is that that could not possibly be the case
BECAUSE
I do not believe he thinks about it that
DEEPLY
or remembers my finer points
OR understands me
WELL enough
BUT
I GUESS
I could WANT that for him
I mentioned that I didn't believe
a much higher percentage
of what he was
SAYING
he was saying
his family
owned an island
in the caymans
THIS
I don't have trouble believing
BUT
he was telling me this STORY about
PRINCE CHARLES
on the last voyage of the Britannia
or WHATEVER it was called
he got that right
MAYBE
timing seemed wrong
BUT maybe
they JUST STOPPED by the island
decided to PLAY for the DAY
did not CHECK
with anybody
FIRST
THEY
he & his sister
we're on the bigger island
decided they wanted to play too
SO
they rounded up three more twenty something
young women and hit the island
SECURITY SAID NO
they CALLED Charles and he said come on
THEY PARTIED
with charles
TOOK a BUNCH of ROLLS of FILM
AFTER being TOLD
NOT to
& THEN we're OFFERED fifty thousand dollars for
the ROLLS of FILM*
I MEAN, SURE
I guess it's possible
DO you HAVE any of those PICTURES
I ask, I would REALLY like to SEE them
SOMEWHERE
I find THIS
ALMOST unbelievable
it's NOT, really
WHY do you need to
KEEP up with
all your
OLD
stuff
EXCEPT he's technically charging me
to listen to THIS STORY
SO
HOW
does he not have a photo
ON HIS WALL
I don't REALLY care
I'm not sure
WHY
he was telling me that STORY
I sort of THINK it was
CONNECTED
to his telling me about
HOW
he had dual citizenship and could therefore
ESCAPE
if things get BAD
WHICH
OF COURSE they WON'T and I'm just worrying
UNNECESSARILY
HE'S NOT
WORRIED, but he'll be fine with all his money and resources which I do not have access to
BUT he doesn't have the decency to
NOT
I'm wondering if
I'm doing
therapy
right
I FEEL like
I'm making progress
BUT
I am not SURE
WHY
I would FEEL like
he's just making sh*t up
I MEAN
I am pretty sure
I'm not trying to undermine the process
I guess it COULD be
WEIRD
transference
or
something
BUT
it FEELS
JUST like
my NORMAL reading someone as making sh*t up
I just don't understand why he would be
SO
it's distracting
BECAUSE
MAYBE
my TRUSTING him
is IMPORTANT
AND
if it's NOT
then WHAT is he DOING
I MEAN
MAYBE I just need to be
COMFORTABLE
TALKING to
him
*this is the edited part-- they said no they were keeping the film, and the security detail and charles were like fine no problem you just keep that film with charles partying with four twenty something young girls and a gay guy, what could possibly go wrong
