this morning
BEFORE I got out of bed
I did my whole
GRATITUDE
& affirmations thing
where I am also grateful for the awesome day
I'm gonna have
my mom was coming at 1:15
I mean not really
that was the planned time
BUT
I knew it would be
AFTER that
BUT
it was pretty close
BUT
THEN
when I got in the car
we were suddenly not going to the place we always go for lunch
& something else changed too, I think
& I freaked out a little
& raised my voice
& she's all LIKE
if that's what the therapy is getting me
I'm gonna stop paying for it
right now
SO
we're at lunch
& I'm not talking
& she's LIKE
TRY
not to be angry at me
& I'm LIKE
I'm NOT ANGRY
I'm just thinking about how
I got upset
& RATHER than ask me
if I'm okay
or ANYTHING
YOU
GO IMMEDIATELY to
how you're going to
TAKE AWAY
FROM ME
SOMETHING that is HELPFUL to me
AND
THAT
makes me SAD more than anything
AND
I'm just processing
HOW I got from my
GRATITUDE meditation
& my expectations for a great day
to THIS
BUT
of course
she doesn't get it
I understand her enough
I'm not interested in
FIGURING her out
ANYMORE
THAT is WHO she IS
