what I mean about my mom
not wanting to contemplate the ramifications
I tend to judge
I don't WANT
to JUDGE
I tend to think
everyone has this SPARK of the DIVINE
I WANT that to be TRUE
KINDA
believe it
UNTIL I
come face to face
with the
I'm LOOKING and I CAN'T SEE it
& THEN
I don't LIKE
where I GO with THAT
THAT'S what I MEAN
NOT
that I can't acknowledge that
she can't really love me
PROBABLY
I WANTED to UNDERSTAND
BUT
I don't FEEL like
ANY of it is
HER
really
I have a hard time explaining it
