EXPLAIN today
I slept
LATE
& I felt good about it
LIKE
of course
after the outside staying out
I MIGHT NEED
some EXTRA sleep
I had a lot of thoughts
somewhat whistful-- I WANT to SAY because it felt whistful-- BUT THAT is NOT what whistful MEANS
I don't know if I managed to remain happy
I'm not sure I was overtly happy
I wanted to say something
to a canadian
I'm not sure
WHY
I'm just feeling it
I LIKE Canada
I quite frequently like someone for their qualities
& then find out they're Canadian
& I'm not saying they're the
ONLY people who
america might want to apologize to
BUT
I LIKE their FIGHT
WELL
some of the bunker was interacting
& I got to SAY a THING
I WANTED to SAY
& I FEEL BETTER
& the response made me happy
I GUESS
I the response I GET back
TELLS me
if I got the message across
BUT
she said:
elbows up sis!!!
& it made me feel
LIKE
we were in it together, somehow
which IS what I had wanted to convey
america is
SO MANY things
BUT we are
a little
MUCH
at the best of times
which THIS is NOT
I am very grateful to you
for creating that
it has real world good associated
not just my feelings
& I know
it's hard to understand
my reticence
to meet them in person
I have been thinking about
all the THINGS that I seem to not be able to HANDLE
&
I BET it seems strange to you
I can see how it's strange
BUT NOT
HOW
I SHOULD SEE the WORLD
I GUESS is what I want to SAY
I FEEL
SAFER in a WAY I can't EXPLAIN
BECAUSE you LOVE me
that painting
is so beautiful and
such expressive eyes
and lips
do I need to explain which painting I mean
AND
then sometimes
I just stop
& think
of something, some interpretation
that says something bad
& I start to freak out
a little
BUT
THEN
I say
NO
he just loves me
he doesn't
hate me too
THIS
whole train here
it's LIKE
WHY
is she going down these negative tracks
I think this is what I'm talking about
WHISTFUL
sort of negative or worrisome or potentially
PROBLEMATIC
these thoughts
they keep
KINDA
floating through like those wispy little clouds
NOT DARK
NOT VOLUMINOUS
it's got a slightly
MELANCHOLIC edge
BUT
it's all light
