i fell asleep in the chair
it's very late
i have to go to bed


i impressed upon her
that i don't want her to get sick
please limit exposure

does that mean you don't think
i should go to the gym

i think the gym is full of germs
but there are never more than three people there
it's a very small gym

and when the three people leave
do they run around and wipe everything down with bleach

no
please, just for a little while

have you ever had bad bad flu
where your whole body hurts
you're too weak to stand up
and
you lay in the bed and think
now i understand how people died from this

no

well i have
twice
and this is supposed to be potentially worse
you could die
or
i'm afraid
you could get sick
and have it damage your health enough
that you would have it permanently damage your health
please, please
at this point
i would be afraid to go to dinner with you
i work retail
i've been exposed to hundreds of people
i might get you sick

but
i want to text or call you every day, ok
i want to check in
because i can imagine
my worrying about you
and then not getting a response to a text
and being afraid to go because i might get you sick
and then going
and finding you

not ok
and i don't want to do that, ok

also
she's got 3/4 of her money in the stock market
which i have strongly suggested against
*sigh*

and
i know you don't want to think about this
but you know how i was asking
if you could write down your accounts and important information
in case there any reason that i have to

last year's mail is in a box

please
please don't make me dig through a year's worth of mail
when i'm already distraught and freaked out

ok, sure

i'm very stressed out


i'm not even getting a big premonition
of crisis
i'm still getting
everything's gonna be ok vibes

we're still good, right
i haven't upset you in any way, right
because
i need to not have to worry about that

this is bad
i'm not gonna get any sleep

goodnight sweetheart, i love you

p.s.
i retrieved my TABC certificate from work
because sampling is suspended
so i don't need it there
and
i want to make sure i have it in my possession
because
i don't know which day i might go in
and they say
we decided on jameel
you don't have a job
let me escort you off the premises
and then i might not be able to get it

do you think i could fake my way into a bar tending job
i used to make drinks for my mom
until the incident when she brought home a mixer
with the liquor already in it
and the extra three fingers was too much and made her sick

i make a mean margarita
and i think there's a master class
i've always thought i'd be good at it
because i'm a good listener
but
i've always been uncomfortable
with the legal ramifications
of maybe serving somebody too much
need money
gotta keep those options open

bed!