I had this
IDEA
in my HEAD
I'm sure I've mentioned it before -- the idea of pearls forming in my body
BUT
in that just waking state -- it SEEMED
to be SOME kind of ANSWER to my QUESTION
& then I went on to make up this whole thing ABOUT the pearls
& then I listened to the beginning of
WIND up BIRD
& had bone broth with seaweed
I paid some attention to
POLITICS
& it's STILL surreal
BUT
the
PIGGY thing
for some reason is MORE surreal than anything
just this evening
I started to feel more coherent
I don't remember my dreams
but I KNOW
a LOT happened
I thought BACK to what was the FIRST fairy tale
& I couldn't REMEMBER at FIRST what happened in the fairy tale
I could ONLY remember
SNOW white & ROSE red
& I looked it up
AND there's a BEAR
it's LIKE
this WHOLE man/bear thing
& I WONDER what
that fairy tale is EVEN ABOUT
I feel like I KNOW THINGS I don't KNOW I know YET
BUT
there are STILL a BUNCH of things
I haven't FIGURED OUT yet
when I SNACK at night
it isn't REALLY
about
HUNGER
or not right now anyway
I AM a little hungry, right now
BUT I'm not going to EAT
I'm going to sleep
I think I needed something in the seaweed
I read a thing about AUDHD today that made me laugh -- well, smile inside
I need STRUCTURE in the CHAOS --
---------------- I WALKED into ----------
I'm not sure if that's ME, but it's not NOT me
the reason I started listening to WIND UP BIRD
it's related to the concept/project/thing-y
& I watched some videos
book reviews
or whatever
I wanted to KNOW what
NORMAL people
thought about it -- and this one guy did an analysis -- a psychological analysis
-- and I didn't recognize it
-- as the same book
that doesn't necessarily mean that I am
ABBY NORMAL
the spanish grad student guy I LIKE for reviews reviewed it
& I recognized his review
BUT
his most CORE book is LOVECRAFT
& I guess
MINE
would be ALICE in WONDERLAND
I don't know if I'm making sense
BUT
probably more than last night
goodnight sweetheart
I LOVE you VERY much
