USUALLY bother me
MUCH
MAYBE
I channel it into
"yelling at the television"
calling OUT
things that are unfair
or ENTITLED
which I MOSTLY mean
people & things
that ONLY take themselves into account
BUT
when I deal with my mother
I am dealing with the
SOURCE
MATERIAL
SO
my regular skills
which I'm NOT claiming are perfected skills
are NOT sufficient
AND
I guess I could just say
F*CK YOU
and walk away
BUT
THAT
FEELS like
FAILING to MASTER the LEVEL
LIKE
I was doing
GREAT for a minute there
when I was LIKE
OH
she's like judas or whatever
in Jesus Christ Superstar
she was a necessary
VILLAIN
ALL that HORRIBLE sh*t
DRIVES me to BECOME the THING, ya KNOW
BUT
then I was LIKE
OH
I SEE how I LOOK like a narcissist to
the mumu girls
SH*T
& THAT'S an OVERsimplification
THEN
there was a WHOLE special/NOT special THING
THIS was NOT
ALL yesterday, not by any means
AND
I just keep coming back to
MAN
I'm SLOWING things DOWN
& I FEEL like
I'm supposed to SAY
GO ON without me
BUT
I ALREADY did
I SAID
hey if you're just trying to save me
I'm not gonna kill myself
you don't have to
STAY
THAT feels like the thing I'm 'SPOSED to do
SAVE everyone ELSE
PROTECT OTHERS
from the inconvenience of my needs
PROTECT OTHERS
from having to see my fat
PROTECT OTHERS
from my
OTHER -- NESS
