OK

NOW 

I've got crocodile rock

& my baby she wrote me a letter

I don't KNOW whether

I've made this clear before 

BUT 

I THINK 

when I get INSISTENT music 

in my HEAD 

I think it's a SIGN 

LIKE 

a psychic thing, or whatever

CROCODILE rock?

NOW 

elton john is on book

BUT 

that particular song, SEEMS odd

it's apparently based on an AUSSIE song

& I could go down a HOLE 

BUT 

MAYBE I'm overthinking it 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶 

👾🫚

the judge in georgia 

her arguments 

it's the SAME argument 

I was making*

*I mean, basically, hers is more legal, I didn't mention the constitution--  I did use life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness & how this framework supercedes

and now I've done something weird with the footnote

I had WANTED to argue 

the incubator angle

& 

doctor NELSON said

it wasn't ENOUGH 

WHY

isn't it enough 

I SEMI demanded 

BECAUSE 

you're NOT "letting die"

SO

I re-thought my argument 

BUT 

I NEVER felt like 

it was as STRONG as I wanted it to be 

THIS georgia judge

SHE got it RIGHT 

I think 

it made me HAPPY 

you again 

can't READ my MIND 

I'm PIECES of

SO MUCH STUFF 

I've been explaining myself to you for 

TWENTY YEARS

&

SOMEHOW 

I don't feel like 

I've managed to 

and NOW I'm changing 

SPOONS 

I did an errand today

that I've been avoiding for months

I went grocery shopping 

I'm in a weird place

EMOTIONALLY 

psychologically

I'm KINDA 

SHAKEY

BUT

LEANING towards good 

the PARAMETERS 

I'm talking about 

gotta be GENTLE 

I'm too close to FREAK out 

BECAUSE 

I don't know what I'm doing 

&

I have to MAINTAIN 

LIKE 

the prophet told me in OKEMAH 

❤️

NOW

I'm getting 

Mr Postman

which I can't THINK of

any other

interpretation 

BUT 

that whatever I said

MAYBE 

sounded harsh-- I need to SAY something ELSE

I AM experiencing the world

in a MORE

moment to moment way

I'm TRYING to 

& I'm FIGURING it out 

BUT 

I'm NOT solid

by any means & I'm not sure 

I KNOW what I'm talking about 

I LOVE you VERY much!

OK

my back hurts so bad

I lay down

&

I fell asleep 

&

NOW 

I'm confused again 

I'm tempted to freak out

BUT 

I do not have the energy

if I have done something wrong 

then I cannot operate 

within these parameters 

I've had 

bridge over troubled waters

stuck in my HEAD

for a couple days 

MAYBE 

I heard it somewhere

BUT 

maybe it means something 

if it's a message 

WHAT 

does it mean 

good morning sweetheart 💋 

I hope you are having a beautiful day ❤️

I had VERY active dreams 

which I can't quite 

REMEMBER 

I FEEL 

STILL 

like my brain is working through things 

BUT 

I still feel KINDA off

I saw this REEL, or whatever 

about this young girl

buying a bracelet 

for her sister

who was raising her

she had a BIG bag of SMALL changes

to pay for the three thousand dollar bracelet 

& the jeweler 

SAID 

THAT is exactly 

the right amount 

& I started 

SOBBING 

I'm not SURE what that means exactly 

I feel like 

DIFFERENT today 

&

I'm not sure

if I'm passing THROUGH this

OR

WHAT 

BUT 

it's uncomfortable somehow 

I HOPED I'd be 

CHATTY

& FUN

TODAY

BUT 

I don't think I QUITE 

MANAGED

I got that planning done though

SO

THAT 

is SOMETHING 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

☕

I didn't look at footage of Helene yesterday 

it's pretty PTSD 

BUT 

then it's like

it's NOT about me

it's about 

THESE poor people 

&

I've been 

VERY LUCKY 

I don't want anybody 

to have to

go through this stuff 

&

there are so many people who don't seem to have 

had ENOUGH luck

&

it makes me

CRY

we still have like a month left

of hurricane season 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart ❤️ 

I've been 

THINKING 

I don't seem to be TALKING 

&

I feel like 

THAT 

MIGHT be BAD

I feel sorta all over the place

thinking-wise

&

I don't know HOW far

I should spin things out

I've ALSO been 

thinking about how much further out

I spin things

than maybe I'm meant to

&

I find myself 

paralyzed 

in terms of talking 

SO

I'm explaining THAT 

which seems

LAME 

especially when 

I spent a lot of the day

thinking about you 

how MUCH 

I LOVE your VOICE 

& how grateful I am 

for you

in many aspects 

& how hard it is for me

to be all like 

asking for

whatever it is I'm doing here

& how I keep being uncertain 

what things mean

& having a hard time 

NOT KNOWING 

I feel like I don't know what is going on with me 

I LOVE the though pathways

YOU are the ONLY one 

who makes me

THINK like that & I f*CKing LOVE it 

&

I LOVE you 

&

I'm worried that if I don't SAY something 

you're gonna think

I'm not that into it

&

I wish I felt like 

I've been making any sense 

SUNDAY 

my plan

not complete

input offered or requested

jeez

THAT was oblique 

HOPEFULLY 

I'll be chattier tomorrow 

❤️

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶 

👾🫚

🍦

TODAY 

was OK

BUT 

I FEEL 

KINDA meh 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

I don't think I have 

TALK 

in me though 

🫶🫶🫶

goodnight sweetheart 

❤️👾🫚💌

thank you

for being on this journey 

with me

I may be confused 

BUT 

I KNOW 

SOME stuff 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚

TODAY 

was OK

I spent some time 

TRYING 

to FEEL my

FREQUENCY 

HOW do you want to 

FEEL 

then I took a long shower

made some tea

put my makeup on 

after FORGETTING to 

put MOST of the

PREP steps

on

which was

DISTURBINGLY absent minded of my*

*because it is LITERALLY habitual, the skincare

BUT 

I was all LIKE 

OK and just --  adjusted

It was TOTALLY fine 

with my mom

NO problem 

she did this THING 

it's one of the DISGUSTED things

& it was REALLY bothering me 

AND NOW I realize 

I like back-filled

DISGUST 

it's THIS noise she makes

& it JUST 

FREAKS me OUT 

every time I hear it

EVERY time 

I go through this whole analysis of 

WHAT AM i hearing?

it's SOMETHING to do

with SWALLOWING 

BUT 

NOT all SWALLOWING 

JUST SOME swallowing 

AND

she SMACKED her lips

ate with her mouth open

it WAS, I'm guessing 

LIKE 

SOME sort of HYPER AWARE thing

BUT 

NOW 

I back-fill the DISGUST

BUT 

NOT TODAY

we went to Brazos bookstore 

a book I ALMOST bought 

is on the LONG LIST 

I took THAT as a SIGN 

& THEN

on the small press feature table

CONCERNING 

the FUTURE of SOULS

by joy williams 

which was CLEARLY 

a SIGN 

I have never heard of joy williams 

at least I don't 

THINK 

I have

I hadn't heard of louise gluck either

I hope you are having a beautiful day 

🫶🫶🫶

❤️

I gotta work out

this sleep wake thing too

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

THIS brain stuff

I'm doing 

NOW 

is this like

REMEDIAL

&/or evolutionary

I'd RATHER 

it was evolutionary 

because 

I'd rather not think 

that it could be this de-stabilizing

to just catch up

I'm TRYING 

to SEE the programming 

SOME of this 

under-CODE

is

FLAWED 

HEY

I LOVE you 💋

AND

NOW 

I REALIZE 

it MAYBE 

SOUNDS like

I'm trying to be SOME KINDA WAY

about how he was as

PRESIDENT 

the truth is 

some BAD STUFF happened 

I didn't understand everything at the time

I haven't researched those things

WHAT I KNOW is

CAMP DAVID

I don't remember details

what I saw

WHEN

I was VERY impressed 

by the

PEACE-MAKING

THAT seems 

EXCITING

HE IS

OK

I was young enough 

when he was president

there was nixon & ford & the whole thing

& I was MORE aware

AND that was

interesting 

the BITS

that came immediately to MIND 

ASIDE

from what he did as president 

HE 

is the ROLE MODEL 

he was the "leader of the free world"

THEN 

he retired

to ASSURE DEMOCRACY around the world 

habitat 

for

HUMANITY 

and I'm struggling to put into words

JUST PLAIN GOOD

I was VERY happy 

with that picture, but as I look at it NOW 

PERHAPS it's 

SCARY 

WHAT is that LOOK 

I DID say goodnight 

BUT 

it published to the Clementine Budhe page

& 

I didn't catch it

my original 

THERAPY 

posted there yesterday 

BUT 

moving a long thing

on my phone

is a pain

SO I just rewrote it

DIFFERENT 

the post I was trying to do this morning 

posted there too

ANYWAY 

here's the picture 

BECAUSE 

it's NOT any kinda INSULT

you're really irritating

& it was spoken as a correction 

BUT 

it PROBABLY was 

TRUE 

it MIGHT be a STRETCH

SO

not SURE where to go from there

& I'm certainly not postulating 

BEHAVIORAL change 

I WANTED to make her life 

BETTER 

WANTED to make things

the way she'd SAID 

she always

WANTED 

them

BUT 

THAT is just NOT doable 

and isn't what she really wants anyway 

BUT 

I'm still trying to fix myself 

TODAY 

was not as bad

as it was

THERAPY 

was

sort of ODD

it travelled through some

CONFUSION 

I was trying to EXPLAIN 

& I didn't FEEL like 

I was MAKING SENSE 

& then he said SOMETHING 

I wasn't sure I understood, so I CHECKED what 

I THOUGHT he said 

BUT 

it seemed I didn't understand after all 

AND

it's like when everything goes QUIET and

YOU are SUDDENLY LOUD 

LIKE 

MUSICAL CHAIRS

I was SUDDENLY denying 

ACCESS to MYSELF 

I was saying 

it's NOT that what she SAYS to me 

UPSETS me

it's the NEGATIVE emotions 

THAT I HAVE them

& that I FEEL them towards her

I want to FEEL neutral

HE 

LIKED

NEUTRAL 

SO

I did manage to get SOME important stuff said 

I'm trying to get 

LIKE 

CLOSURE and sh*t

my time so far

has led me to believe 

there is no in there

& it's making 

me think of her as less human somehow 

&

I CANNOT DEAL with THAT 

SO

I keep trying 

to get her to say SOMETHING 

TRUE 

SO

I'm KINDA tempted 

to look at her

saying I'm irritating 

as MAYBE a 

WIN

BUT 

I will ADD

YOU 

are KINDA 

AMAZING*

*in a BUNCH of ways

& 

FUNNY 

&

I LOVE you 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I'm sorry I'm so quiet 

TODAY 

I've had a lot of THOUGHTS 

BUT 

I'm not sure how to make them coherent 

I DO WANT to say 

SOMETHING 

that lets you KNOW 

HOW 

special and important you are to me

even if I'm not much fun

right now

🫶🫶🫶

💋

👾🫚

I LOVE you 

THANK you 

it means a lot to me

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

AND

I KEEP forgetting 

that you can't read my mind

when I went to live with her

I was running away 

and then she broke me

and I thought 

NOW 

I'm not SURE 

that I had disgust for her before that

I decided to really back off

any scripts patterns 

of behavior 

beginner's 

mind 

and it probably wasn't 

successful 

BUT 

it might turn out in the end, or hell, the interim 

I WAS ABSOLUTELY being irritating 

if the WORST thing in the world

would be to divulge ANY

information 

ABOUT 

your thought process 

or your inner world

she's got one, right

it's not a senile thing 

she was like this

with my perfectly reasonable 

questions about menopause 

years ago

NONE of it makes SENSE 

to ME 

I don't really want 

to talk

about it

it just kinda disturbs me

when I remember things she does

that maybe she doesn't do anymore 

that disgusts me

and try to remember when I first thought that

THAT was how I FOUND that fragment

RED RIVER VALLEY 

LOOKING through old memories 

trying to remember 

HOW far BACK 

I had THAT disgust

BUT 

it doesn't make a lot of SENSE to me 

well I want to say

I'm sorry 

i at the least

brought the VIBE down 

&

FREAKED out

AND

at WORST I've really hurt you feelings

AND

I'm all awkward about it

BUT 

I'm also kinda somewhere on the line

BETWEEN 

sad & angry

that I just LOST my FOCUS 

LIKE 

I'm not doing as well as I THOUGHT 

AND 

I really really SORRY about that 

BUT 

you FALL DOWN 

you GET UP

BUT

I AM REALLY having a PROBLEM 

with my FEELINGS 

ABOUT 

my MOM

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

thanks for listening 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I've been trying 

NOT 

to do that

I have all this like DAMAGE baggage 

for lack of a BETTER term

& ONE of the things 

I set these STOPS 

LIKE 

when I told you I've decided you do not

share that 

that way my dad was

when there are THINGS 

DON'T TRACK-- not relevant to anything 

BUT 

ALSO 

I have a kind of 

DISCONNECT between 

THIS YOU 

which is partially CONSTRUCTED

in my MIND 

&

REAL WORLD YOU

which contains a LOT MORE than that

LIKE 

I MEAN of course 

BUT 

it's confusing 

AND

I just keep telling myself 

yep, you're GONNA get

CONFUSED 

until you don't 

bring it with you like a RAIN CLOUD, remember

BUT 

what I mean now

by unmoored 

I have gone off on a f*CKton of 

POSSIBLE WHATNOT 

B*TCH better WATCH what you say

I THINK I freaked out a little 

I don't really REMEMBER 

I took a BATH 

FOUNTAIN pens

fountain pen YouTube 

writing with a fountain pen 

just RANDOMLY 

lines from the background something 

OR 

asking yourself how this pen or this ink

COMPARE 

JUST keep moving the pen across the paper

OR make notes

LISTS

I DISCOVERED 

if I touch my finger to the video 

stay in CONTACT 

with the screen 

plays in 2X

YES--

while YOU were doing

THAT we were

running 

scenarios NO limitations, in the BACKGROUND 

it feels like a SIGN

50/50

I didn't SAY 

THAT 

either 

but NOW I am SOMEWHAT unmoored

I don't KNOW 

WHAT 

I thought WHEN 

AND

I am feeling SOME kind of WAYS 

& I'm not SURE 

HOW 

BUT now I think I'm SUPPOSED to KNOW 

BUT let me start, I guess, with the REASON 

apart from brain fog

that I might been off my game, or whatever 

I had this STRANGE conversation 

with my mom 

& it KINDA freaked me out 

BUT 

I didn't want to tell you ABOUT it 

because 

it didn't seem interesting 

I didn't WANT to articulate it 

I wasn't sure what it meant SO WHY do it

I MEAN 

WHAT would I even SAY

I just KINDA 

OK

it ENDED with

her saying 

YOU are really ADORABLE 

I don't know WHY 

I SAY that

because you are really IRRITATING 

*laughing* YEAH?

then I'm getting out of the car

adjusting the seat

to it's original 

position 

I SAY to her

I FEEL like 

if I had said THAT SAME THING 

to YOU 

that it would have HURT your FEELINGS 

and 

SHE 

said 

NOPE 

AND

I didn't say

I should have said 

BEFORE 

I ❤️ that painting 

AND 

I HOPE 

it goes without saying 

that the stuff about the

intangible/tangible/transition/totem

is not somehow 

CODED 

it's not about YOU 

it's about ME

& my brain restructuring 

& the times

& whatever

DON'T LOOK 

for anything BAD

I'm NOT trying to tell you anything BAD

I'm trying to tell myself 

AND you

what's going on with me

because my BRAIN is BROKEN 

& I'm trying to fix it

I may be ridiculous for telling you that

you may KNOW 

BUT 

I WORRY

about you like you were fragile 

maybe I'm projecting that

MAYBE 

you are solid in your belief in me

AND

besides have a whole happy life

that isn't dependent on 

my reassurance 

JUST in CASE

🫶👾🫚🫶

🍄🍄🍄

good morning sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

MAYBE 

I made you unhappy 

I didn't mean to

MAYBE 

it doesn't have anything to do with me

& I'm just making it about me

I've been dreaming about 

the MOMENT 

when things SHIFT 

it's hard to describe 

BUT 

I'm taking it as a GOOD sign

I don't feel bad or like vaccine yucky

my arm is a little sore

I'm a little achy 

BUT 

I think that's something else 

I hope you are having a beautiful day 

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚

💌

I got a COVID & a flu shot today

both in the same arm

which isn't really sore

I THOUGHT 

I'd had one

this year 

BUT 

it's been a full year

I don't feel bad

JUST 

REALLY tired

I'm going to bed

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

it's REALLY awesome 

about O

REMARKABLE when you think about it 

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚

just started, really 

im not really in the groove today 

but I'm ok with where this 

is going 

😁

I gotta go to bed 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

goodnight 🫶👾🫚

I REMEMBERED 

I'm not sure

WHY

singing Red River Valley 

with my mom

I THINK 

we MIGHT have 

been at her

parents 

I don't remember any

CONTEXT

none whatsoever 

BUT 

it's really a good memory 

AND 

the if you FIND the Buddha

it WORKS 

on a bunch of levels

I took the MESSAGE 

NOW 

I find I'm a little wobbly on the MESSAGE 

THE POINT

is that it works with the beautiful thing I strung together with slashes that I NOW can't remember 

intangible/tangible/transition/totem

I THINK that's RIGHT 

the REASON it WORKS 

the mojo, or whatever 

it NEVER really 

occurs to me to explain this stuff

is BECAUSE it TURNS 

on the one hand

I read it as "we got jesus, round up buddha"

on the other hand

I take it as a sort of KOAN

which sent me down this RABBIT HOLE

I kind of reconnected 

BEGINNER'S MIND

INFORMATION 

there is a tibetan buddhist temple

LIKE

a MILE and a half 

away

BUT 

MAYBE 

what I REALLY wanted

was ZEN

THAT ties back

to what

I'm attracted to 

the SENSE that there is 

just

an

energy

SO

LIKE 

come at THINGS with a

BEGINNER'S MIND 

FRESH EYES

CLEAN SLATE

WHAT would THAT mean

can I just treat her like she was some random

WOMAN 

I'm NOT sure it's possible 

BUT 

I'm noticing the things

that are not

COMPLETELY sensical 

INFORMATION 

I wrote this next part wasaasy up top

but it was gonna make more sense

DOWN HERE

sh*t

I should have bought her candy

she would not have liked that*

BUT 

I'm a little worried 

she's just will 

eat extras

BUT 

she can safely eat THREE 

so MAYBE 

it's OK

*she wanted oil free salad dressing

she's eating fruit and yogurt and rotisserie chicken and soup she makes from the bones

she's cut back on the cheese

it's counter to what she's 

trying to achieve 

I've got

CAMELOT 

in my HEAD

WHAT is THAT about

the COLOR 

TANGENT --

REALLY 

Oprah and Kamala 

ARE 

technically wearing tertiary colors

BUT 

when big GRETCH shows up

in FULL secondary color

GREEN

she 

SHIFTS 

the 

DYNAMIC 

SUDDENLY 

they become a SECONDARY dynamic 

JUST

LIKE with a MOMENT 

WHERE SHE went all TECHNICOLOR

I drove down streets

I kinda like

that 

I haven't been down in a while 

I wondered

will that Ben & Jerry's 

that's been there

idk

thirty years

?will they have the new Kamala limited edition?

it was a pretty day

LOTS of CLOUDS 

they were BIG and FLUFFY with moody gray

BOTTOMS 

which didn't SEEM rainy

to ME 

THIS 

had prompted 

the SILVER LINING inquiry 

we went to MURDER by

AND

even though I haven't REALLY read anything of the last batch 

I found a BOOK -- now hear me out

I ACTUALLY found two books 

I walked in

and the FIRST thing that drew my EYE was

RED SPARROW 

which seemed like more of a audible 

BUT 

this other book 

it's a first novel and it's blending 

different persona

BUT 

like different 

social media and I'm not entirely sure 

it just SOUNDS interesting to me 

BUT 

I'm not sure reading it 

at this particular juncture is WISE

SO

I'm probably not going to read it either 

BUT it was autographed 

& SOMETIMES 

if you don't BUY the BOOK 

then when you WANT it 

it's not there

and I WANT to READ it

BUT I feel vaguely bad

because it is yet another physical item

AND I have too many 

it was too MANY before

my mom's house 

JEEZ I MIGHT 

still need to process 

STILL 

I'm very excited about the book 

SWALLOW the GHOST 

THIS 

is an actual conversation I had

OK

the melatonin is in a GUMMY 

it MAY be

DELICIOUS 

it is NOT candy

DO NOT think 

I can just have ONE MORE 

YOU WILL NOT WAKE UP

AND 

on the drive back

the CLOUDS were LIKE 

--YEAH--

YOU WATCHING 

LOOK 

at 

THIS 

so

AGAIN 

I'm excited to see 

what the UNIVERSE wants to SHOW me

and I'm looking at clouds again 

HEY I say

I been LOOKING at clouds a lot

LATELY 

do y'all NOT DO the whole 

SILVER LINING 

THING

anymore 

INFORMATION 

GUMMIES must be a bigger thing

than I realized 

I was looking for melatonin 

for my mom

at whole foods

AND I mean

they must've had FIVE melatonin brands of

GUMMIES 

NO tablets

ALL whole foods stores

have slightly different ASSORTMENT 

I'm SURPRISED this hasn't changed

it's MUCH easier 

to demand items be stocked uniformly

not necessarily that every store

ACTUALLY HAVE 

the SAME 

BUT

ya KNOW 

EVERYBODY 

"carries" the SAME thing 

I'm NOT sure how much sense 

this makes

to people who haven't worked RETAIL 

I KNOW 

SOMETIMES it was a little hard to follow 

the GAP brand people 

I THINK I'm using general TERMS

BUT 

I now realize 

I was high for THAT 

to RECAP --  GUMMIES 

OK

I hadn't known about Oprah

I got a notification or

SOMETHING 

I have been SILENT SCREAMING 

OPRAH

every time anyone says 

she NEEDS to 

TALK to the MEDIA 

BECAUSE 

I KNEW 

Oprah 

would do THAT THING she does 

that she

DID 

I am overall happy with it 

it was a strange

HYBRID 

dynamic concept

it wasn't REALLY an interview 

BUT 

it wasn't REALLY a town hall

BUT 

it wasn't REALLY a rally 

BUT 

it wasn't REALLY a zoom call

it MAYBE was

a CONSCIOUSNESS raising

I NEVER actually ATTENDED one

BUT 

I READ about them

I believe 

it could be considered one

her CLOSING ARGUMENTS for

AMERICA 

we're

KINDA inspiring 

and she was GREAT on GUNS 

I can't talk about this anymore 

I want to talk about

other stuff 

secondary colors

I ALWAYS 

say tertiary 

I think I like the way it sounds better 

it's the color theory

I used for

my religious painting

in highschool 

purple, orange, green

I did karmic wheels

BUT 

I mis-spoke the tertiary 

if I EVER say tertiary 

& it's important 

BETTER 

to check

because it usually takes me a while 

to catch my error 

oprah, kamala, & gretchen 

are wearing 

tertiary

COLORS

they are literally 

singing color harmony 

DUDE

I cannot get

madmen with guns

to stop playing on 

REPEAT 

in my HEAD

catchy AF

THIS is GONNA be

CHOPPY

perhaps I'll clean it up

TOMORROW 

LAST night 

I said

I KNOW the universe 

is LINING it ALL up for me

I cause PROBLEMS 

because I WANT to tell it

HOW 

I got this 

if you're seeing THIS NOW message 

FUN

FOCUS on the FUN

I LOOK at your follows

& they aren't 

ORDERED 

BUT 

dharma bums

& RAIN 

OH wow

just getting THAT--

DREAMS 

& I didn't really WANT to see my mom today 

BUT 

I HAD kinda planned to go to archway 

& THAT'S what I planned to do 

BUT 

probably wasn't GOING to do 

SO

she had her training 

and wasn't ready til almost FOUR 

which SEEMED

late to be starting 

THEN 

she was LIKE FIRST we'll go to archway 

& I'm like

FIRST?

anyway blah blah blah

I said to myself 

FUN

and I just LOOKED at the clouds

didn't TALK 

I KNOW you got information about 

my future

and I'm LOOKING forward 

to SEEing it

THAT is I figure 

the other side of

your mission --  you'll know it when you see it

the show was ADAM & EVE and the iPhone 

or something like that 

I may have wording wrong, but like that

it was conceptually pretty cool

I've been going to archway for years

they used to be over by the river oaks Starbucks

the old one that's closed now

the one I was hired for

way back

john slaby was there then

so like

assuming he was there for a year before I got there, thirty years

he's VERY realistic detail oriented 

he's got a sense of humor

I saw the THREE of his painting

donna has in her studio/apartment 

the one in her BED area

a NUDE with

a string of CRUCIFIX twinkle lights

wrapped around her

he's SOLD the MAJORITY 

of his SHOW

which is pretty 

UNCOMMON 

BUT 

as it TURNED out 

my MESSAGE was NOT in the SHOW

it was not in the general gallery show EITHER 

it was in the bins

the unframed

BINS

he had like

THREE 

small black & white etchings

ONE of them

had a CRUCIFIXION scene 

THAT wouldn't usually 

CATCH my ATTENTION 

BUT 

it WAS

when I picked it up to LOOK at it 

the crowd looked vaguely modern

on the mount looked

SOME kind of 

GLOWING 

MAYBE 

I LOOKED at the title

if you find the buddha...kill him

and I was LIKE 

THAT'S the MESSAGE 

donna was working

so I got to talk to her

I picked up my LAST message 

& bought THIS one 

I NEED 

VISIBLE 

intangible/tangible/transition/totems 

it looked like it was going to rain

my PHONE said NO rain AT ALL this week

the clouds hadn't 

LOOKED rainy 

on the WAY 

I got as far as KIRBY & RICHMOND 

VERY close

to MUCKY duck

THE SKY OPENED

RAIN

TODAY was

NOT 

WEIRD 

more later

I passed out

last night

I slept a lot

I had a bunch of dreams

I don't really remember them 

I just have a vague awareness 

BUT 

my brain is working through stuff 

I'm confident of that 

my BODY however 

FEELS inflamed 

my back

HURTS

I hope you are doing well 

and that everything is beautiful 

where you are ❤️

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I'm not sure WHY 

BUT 

I'm super tired

I hope everything is beautiful 

where you are 

I think I'm going to bed

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

goodnight 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚

I can't stop

THINKING about you 

in your hat

AND

I would love to KNOW 

2HBH

I suspect a METAPHOR 

BUT 

THEN

MAYBE NOT 

I could see something literal working too

I wish I could've been there 

I LOVE you 

I THINK 

at one vibration it's alien

at another it's prophet, ya know

OR

MAYBE not

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

which

PARTS of me

are worried NOW 

SOUNDS to be making some sort of statement 

I was NOT trying to 

I MORE like

DROPPED it

in a slightly uncomfortable place 

MAYBE 

MAYBE 

I'm at the WRONG vibration 

I've felt off all day

OK

NOW I've got 2014 in my head

WHAT is 

THAT

ABOUT 

is it about the song

or the part of the song I'm hearing 

or the actual year

or something that happened 

one time

listening to the song 

OR

PERHAPS 

it's just for THIS 

or for the ten year WHATEVER you CALL 

TIME AWARENESS 

PARTS

of me have protested*

*don't get dramatic 

WOW

I just had this intense

THING

and I LOST the thread

PARTS

of me have protested

that PERHAPS 

SOME of what was PRESENTED as RESEARCH 

COULD be described 

as less RE

and more SEARCH

AND 

if there's OVERLAP with self SOOTHING 

is THAT relevant 

AND 

I have a THING 

I need to figure out 

I was driving my mom around 

because I'm doing that

when we are

doing things 

and I stopped to get gas

which was all expected 

and we had just been at the grocery*

*I'm telling you this for CONTEXT 

at the grocery 

she stays in the car

with the engine and air conditioning running 

we get to the gas station 

and I'm getting ready 

before I turn off the car

AND 

she's LIKE 

you have to turn off the engine 

BEFORE you pump the gas

AND

it triggers me a little 

I MEAN 

isn't THAT 

like the FIRST thing

I think I learned THAT 

BEFORE 

I even was a driver

the first time I ever pumped gas

BUT ya know

MORE than 40 years

and although I KNOW 

she's probably 

just thinking 

a few minutes ago I wanted her to

leave it running 

NOW that isn't safe

I got out of the car

and bitched to myself 

would you PLEASE start treating me 

like I'm the SMARTEST person you know 

I feel like SO MANY 

of my human interactions

involve people

giving me DIRECTIONS 

LIKE 

I just arrived on this planet

& had NEVER ENGAGED my brain

PROBABLY need

to be TOLD 

THE MOST BASIC things 

when I spend

at least six hours a day in research of 

SOME kind 

&

I'm fifty seven years old

THIS attitude on my part

is disruptive to my functioning 

BUT 

I cannot seem to DISCONNECT 

& the problem with my

DESCRIPTION 

is that it's 

IMPOSSIBLE to 

NOT display

what I THINK 

it HITS the 

ALIEN 👾 button

I dreamed

about

a store

it was a small block

single story

no windows 

no information, really 

BUT 

it had a window 

out of which

it sold

delicious beverages

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶🫶

❤️👾🫚❤️

I feel bad

that I haven't listened to TK

BUT 

I'm telling you the

TRUTH

even though 

I KNOW it SOUNDS 

something 

when I listen to TK

I'm entering 

and constructing THAT world

and it's not my world

& doing THAT

makes it HARDER to FOCUS on 

FINDING MY world

which I'm trying to CONSTRUCT 

idk WHY

BUT 

I just can't right now 

it's a FULL BRAIN operation 

I feel like 

THAT 

just won't make sense 

BUT 

I don't know how else to explain it 

Works in progress 

good morning sweetheart 💋 

I hope you have a beautiful day 🫶

I lost ten pounds 

& that LOOKS 

like where I was before 

BUT 

I'm still ten pounds up

SO

idk

the fasting was hard

the first couple days 

BUT it got easier 

I sort of

focused on probiotics and liquids 

I think 

instead of five days

I MIGHT go to

more of a juice fast situation 

and do it more like two to three days

there's this kombucha 

CAYENNE CLEANSE

& of course 

UBER GREENS

& arugula with some 

well THIS time

I had ACID society Meyer lemon vinegar 

and it was

BOMB

the kale salad

I'm sick of THAT but arugula is great

AND

I've been craving

BROWN rice which I expected 

LAST fall

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart ❤️👾🫚

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I going to sleep now 

🫶👾🫚

update passport 

is a THING 

also check voter registration 

AGAIN 

I dreamed

SOMETHING 

about

painting things BLUE

BUT 

it SEEMED like

MAYBE 

not technically painting 

I couldn't bring all the meaning through 

I just got the impression 

BUT 

there was MORE 

I feel REALLY warm and fuzzy

towards you

right now

ALSO 

I'm fasting 

&  I haven't been weighing 

and I thought

I had probably gained 

SOME weight

BUT 

clothes 

which were NOT loose

or made of stretchy material 

STILL fit

so I don't think I can have gained

MUCH 

BUT 

I'm like twenty pounds up

is it POSSIBLE 

that I gained some significant 

amount of muscle

because

when I was this weight before

it was about fifteen pounds between sizes

& I'm NOT up a size

OK

I just watched this girl

who's autistic ADHD & infj

and she spoke

pain to me

I thought 

ONLY 

I felt

seriously 

WTF

ALSO

I SO SO resonated

with almost everything she said 

I just don't know 

I usually don't subscribe 

after 

ONE

video

I am 

I don't even KNOW 

how I am

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I KNOW 

for a long time 

I wrote something about 9/11

every year

or just about

BUT 

this year

I'm not sure what to write 

I was thinking about 

how I believed 

CONSPIRACY 

& to be honest I still do KINDA 

I ALSO 

was thinking about 

how I essentially believed that 

the government 

WASN'T us

& MAYBE 

we SHOULD have a 

REVOLUTION 

right now

I had SYMPATHY for 

WACO

I thought vaccines 

MIGHT 

be causing increased autism

and yet

I'm NOT a maga

I FEEL like 

I should excavate

to find

HOW 

I ESCAPED 

I was NEVER fascist

BUT 

I was a big admirer of

EMMA GOLDMAN 

& edna st vincent milay's

apology for sacco and vanzetti 

& SOMETIMES

I tended to believe 

we would possibly be better 

WITHOUT 

government 

BUT 

it should EITHER 

do MORE 

OR

do LESS

the problem was the rich people 

and the corporations 

I don't know 

HOW 

all this rounds out

I feel WEIRD about it 

I don't know if I'm SOMEHOW 

WRONG 

inside

or if I'm just different 

& if REALLY 

there's ENOUGH difference in the 

TIMES

that I shouldn't spend a bunch of time 

SELF REFLECTING

I'm not even sure how coherently I have 

STATED the situation 

BUT 

THAT was 

my WORRY 

that SOMEHOW 

MAYBE 

I'm not sure how to express it 

I want to say

there but for the grace of God go I

BUT 

I don't believe THAT 

NOR

am I willing to go so far

as to call myself a hypocrite 

SO

I GUESS 

what I'm left with

is

I'm uncomfortable with 

the venn diagram

and I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE with 

having to see dick cheney 

as a heroic patriot 

instead of a war criminal

instead of a foundational step

in getting us

to THIS 

DANGEROUS place in history 

AND

I tend to think it's all new

BUT the TRUTH seems to be

POSSIBLY 

we've got SOME version

of this really bad

DIVISIVENESS 

as like a regular ongoing 

THING

so maybe I'm just blowing it out of proportion 

I CAN'T make myself believe THAT though

I'm just left with the feeling 

that I may not be

COMPLETELY 

on the right side of history 

in some way

BUT 

it was TERRIBLE 

I can STILL 

close my eyes and see the plane hit the building 

see the people 

JUMP

and whatever the facts

I hold a place

in my soul

for

the American trauma of it

the CONNECTION of

that national

SHARED event

it just SEEMS like a lifetime ago

and

MAYBE 

I'm a different person 

it's a different world

MAYBE 

there are reasons that I shouldn't claim to still feel

CONNECTION

and this sort of alienation from things past

is a point of 

ONGOING 

DISCOMFORT 

as I move through 

TIME 

I say a silent prayer for the dead

the polychromatic 

MYSTERY

of the human 

SPIRIT 

and a FUTURE in which

the human heart

no longer

CRAVES 

the destruction of 

OTHERS

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I need to go to bed 

❤️🫶👾🫚

if you were

UNDECIDED 

could you 

POSSIBLY 

STILL 

be undecided 

I've been watching these

YouTube shows

about

an empath working for the devil

he HYPOTHETICALLY 

uses his empathy skills

to torture people 

AND

I don't know WHY 

BUT 

I think it's SO funny

and the whole jim-othy thing

is ALSO 

SO funny

I'm NOT turning to the DARK side

BUT 

I LIKE the 

JOKE

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I filled in the spaces

&

I'm pretty pleased 

I THINK 

it's 

CHEERFUL 

AND 

it almost looks 

LIKE

SOMETHING 

PAINT!

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶👾🫚

I've got Fleetwood Mac 

say you love me

STUCK in my HEAD 

I don't know 

WHY

MAYBE 

JUST 

the KINDA 

topsy turvy love bit

& 1970s love songs

I have had

SO many FEELS

about leaving art supply 

AND 

my thoughts about you 

are complicated 

BUT 

I LOVE you 

AND

I want you NOT to worry 

& I want to KNOW 

HOW everything is going to work out 

BUT 

I have to just let THINGS settle 

I have so MUCH 

WARMTH 

for the desire to help me

so much CERTAINTY 

that we are connected some spiritual way

AND

I play through the tarot readings

the story

I've had in my HEAD 

ABOUT soul mates

& WHATNOT 

and how maybe the glowing green was for told

and you were meant to ACTIVATE 

BUT 

this is taking a long time 

this transformation 

& it's EASY 

to WORRY 

I get lost easily in the framework 

I'm trying to CHANGE it 

it's scary 

SOMETIMES 

I'm not SURE how much 

SENSE I make 

BUT 

THANK you 

for loving me enough 

for whatever is going on with me

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I got this urge

to KNOW MORE about 

UNIQLO

pretty sure there was an ad

BUT 

I AM curious ABOUT them

SO

I found their website 

SOMEHOW 

DIFFICULT 

which I SOMEHOW 

simultaneously 

SOMEWHAT 

enjoyed

AND

I found this colorblock skirt

NOT in the SHAPE 

I most prefer

BUT 

one I ENJOY 

& probably pull off

and the thing about them

it's LIKE 

great DESIGN 

& really reasonably priced 

& I THINK 

is it really cheaply made

and you read the ingredients 

and the answer is

it seems like reasonable quality 

for affordable prices

AND I'm game

I was REALLY LOOKING

for a new RAINCOAT 

BUT 

THEN

THERE was COLOR BLOCK

I used to have this colorblock skirt 

it was that KINDA 

PENCIL like

that I LIKE 

it was like a heathered grey

with a thick black stripe

AND

I THINK 

it satisfied a HUGE swath

of STYLE 

I MEAN 

from MINIMALISM 

to a sort of suiting look 

to LIKE 

PENDLETON 

I felt LIKE it looked good on me

I got it at the AVENUE 

it was reasonable quality 

for a reasonable price 

LUCK of the draw

heavy rotation for a long damn time

and I don't think I've gotten rid of it yet

it's too BIG for me to wear

OTHERWISE 

it just needs a small back seam mend

it could, theoretically, be ALTERED 

AND it KINDA makes 

me want to 

LEARN 

to SEW 

my mom has a sewing machine 

I'm NOT sure 

that that is pertinent 

BUT it is information 

SKIRT 

I bought a skirt

I NEEDED it

because you don't see colorblock all that often

AND even if everything is all colorblock all the time everywhere everywhere colorblock 

THIS is navy, brown, and grey

AND

it's a KNIT

AND

it's that wide vertical rib

SO

UNIQLO 

is getting QUITE the TEST 

I'm NOT expecting 

BUT if they

MEET my expectations 

I MIGHT not get a lot of wear

OUT of it

BUT 

it MIGHT 

become my FAVORITE skirt

I REALLY like 

their CONCEPT

OH

and I'm trying not to do this ever

BUT 

I saw this way

that this could be 

NEGATIVE 

I'm trying to just flow with it

NOT get all caught up

in the

EDIT 

BECAUSE 

that contributes SO MUCH ANGST 

BUT 

I don't want you to be freaking out 

& I think we're past that

BUT I freely admit

I don't REALLY 

KNOW 

ANYTHING 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 💋🫶

👾🫚

I've been THINKING about 

that transistor radio

I've been THINKING about

LOTS of things 

MANY of them

YOU 

OK

I just freaked myself out 

I went ahead

and PAINTED out

the colors

I currently have 

I have space blocked out

I'm trying to decide 

layout 

imagining 

the other colors

it's a strange assortment though

as I look at it

NORMALLY 

I wouldn't have more than one green

and no green at all would not

have been unheard of

I dearly WANTED indigo

that's my go to 

DARK

BUT I REPLACED it with perylene green

their harbor blue is THAT SHADE I'm about

I like to mix the qor watercolor 

Indigo & raw umber

I LOVE that color

AND

the deep sea green

is so very beautiful to me

it's ultramarine blue

which is 

just TOO SOMETHING for me 

BLENDED 

with pg18 viridian 

which is just a little TOO as well

BUT together 

it becomes a favorite 

schmincke has that deep sea indigo

I love so much

viridian & cobalt violet

BUT 

it was a twelve pan palette

& I had other stuff 

going on

with the granulation and WHATNOT 

LIGHT, shadow, TEXTURE 

and I had said once I could PAINT

with ONLY sodalite genuine

for BLUE 

SO

FINE -- vivanite is blue ochre

call it sodalite 

SCALED UP

BUT these COLORS though

that orange and pink

SHOWDOWN 

BUT 

CINABRO-vanite

BUT 

ERCOLONO red 

I said 

I LOVE that color 

I said

I've always loved that color

and somebody COMES BACK 

nu UH

REMEMBER 

that coloring contest

you WANTED 

the RED crayon

BUT 

other kid, russell maybe, was using the red one

and you were too impatient to 

WAIT 

SO

you used the red-orange crayon

& YOU WON

THAT is why you like that color

OK

I was LIKE five

are you saying that I need an ADDENDUM 

that I MIGHT

have considered red-orange to be

a second string color

PRIOR to

it GOING LUCKY for me

at five

I didn't even think about it 

being a color I ALWAYS 

use

I love this paint company 

their mixes are

masterful

the quality

BUT

I've been playing with their paints

& THESE are

FAVORITES 

AND 

the THING 

or maybe A thing

is that LIFE is like that TOO 

THERE just ARE

however many

SPOONS

there

are

Ronald Reagan 

1987 ended Fairness Doctrine 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I want to 

THANK you 

for going through this with me

I feel like 

it's been KINDA 

a long STRANGE journey 

just THIS year

I change my mind 

I PERHAPS 

more accurately 

I COMPLETELY 

FORGOT 

what the f*CK I was talking about 

I just posted accidentally 

on one of my other blog

I had KINDA 

FORGOT 

I only very vaguely 

REMEMBER 

writing 

from ten years ago

HYPED

on snail SEX

I had this whole SEXY thing

with the kissing the neck

and then our

HEADS touch

and I wanna say

POP

I hadn't remembered 

SNAILS 

from the film in third grade 

RIGHT 

before LUNCH 

I did NOT 

WANT to EAT 

THE ASEXUAL REPRODUCTION 

BRAINS

it freaked me out 

BUT 

THEN

it was a POETIC representation 

of the DESIRE

MIND hiving 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I'm also 

NOT 💯 on board

with the decision I made

ABOUT the BROKEN 

because I really 

DO NEED my time back 

STUFF 

&

EXERCISE 

these are not

UN daunting 

and I have to keep my mom

IN PERSPECTIVE 

and

I'm considering 

that sunday life drawing THING 

I'm considering 

WATERCOLOR 

portraiture 

ALSO 

MAYBE 

plein air*

*this looks wrong but I didn't look it up

I ordered a new a. gallo palette 

it is SOMEWHAT 

superfluous 

I COULD certainly 

rearrange 

just order the NEW colors

BUT 

watercolor palettes

are SO fun to REVISIT 

I don't like to take them apart

AND it's a 

THING

it's a bit ODD

no blue

it's NOT 

straight UP, anything 

I'm REALLY proud of it

still de grain 

quinacridone gold

ercolono red

cinabro hue

ultramarine pink

earth green cool

indigo green

orange iron oxide

Icelandic red earth

van dyke brown 

perylene green

vivanite (functions as blue, kinda)

COLORS group out

three are NOT earth pigments

the quin gold adds PUNCH

& MIXES well

ultramarine pink counterpoints

earth green cool

it adds WARMTH that can 

STILL be shadow

PERHAPS it will mix

BUT 

it is the entire

SPECTRUM 

cool red through violet

perylene green 

is LIKE 

the shadow of shadows 

this line has recently 

added a perylene green 

& I WAS going to get 

perylene maroon 

BUT 

I talked myself into

GRANULATION 

I love the indigo green

& the van dyke brown

I talked myself into 

orange iron oxide

& icelandic red earth

which are

SUBDUED swaps 

where I would normally go hard

stil de grain replaced fig green

because I got this image

BRIGHT light

TREES

and it changed

ercolono red 

& cinabro hue

are beautiful 

and join with quin gold

as the WARM warms

I don't KNOW 

if it WORKS 

it's playing with 

DIFFERENT variables 

I have a SOMEWHAT 

CONFUSINGLY bizarre

example 

my last car

I didn't put the new license plates on the car

I kept the OLD ones on

BUT 

I kept them in the trunk

NOW

I REALIZE 

this SOUNDS 

completely CRAZY 

I had this NEED to 

PROVE 

to myself 

that it didn't MATTER 

BUT 

not really SURE 

and anyway you'd probably STILL be in TROUBLE 

LIKE a 

DARE

there was some f*CK the system in there too

MAYBE 

BUT 

I JUST remembered 

an important example 

the SCHEDULE 

a BIG part

of how 

I can't DO the JOB

THEY want me to do

I HAVE to do the job I WANT me to do

THEY made an 

AUTOMATED SCHEDULER

JUST input the info

it SPITS out a schedule 

you do like maybe ten edits

bim, bam, boom

scheduling is THE MOST important 

BECAUSE people are 

DIFFERENT 

BUT also

OPTIMIZING

I had MORE customers 

per half hour

during the 

morning 

RUSH

&

THAT meant SOMETHING 

to ME

I found 

I had a LOT of FEELS 

& perhaps 

the elements of the last day

were pretty perfect 

LIKE real REPRESENT

BUT also 

and this sounds weird so I MUST be 

SKIPPING a step

the day went well 

the day was representative 

in ways both good 

and bad

and I feel like we might be

at a place where 

we've found

an EQUILIBRIUM 

MAYBE 

I have some sadness 

I have this CONCEPTUALIZATION 

human grievance

isn't 

RATIONAL 

which SOUNDS obvious NOW 

BUT in my HEAD 

I'm thinking MORE SPECIFICALLY 

LIKE there's some

CALCULUS 

and SOMETIMES it just COMES UP

LIKE 

carney justice 

I can't EXPLAIN it 

if it doesn't make SENSE 

it's about SOME sort of COSMIC scale

BALANCE 

AND 

I think of myself as being 

pretty good 

BUT 

SOMETIMES 

I surprise myself 

and I wonder if I can

AMPLIFY THAT 

KINDA

REVERSE engineer 

UNDERSTAND 

I couldn't write specifics 

that might have 

made things

clearer

BUT 

it is also possible 

that I am OVERLY excited 

by the overly POETIC 

specifics 

of the "good" example 

that I DON'T WANT to SHARE 

BUT 

it's even SORT of 

in the cockroach tea story

I'm SORRY 

I went off on a TANGENT in my HEAD

about JUSTIFICATION 

and I LOST the THREAD

they got cupcakes 

it made me happy 

good morning sweetheart 💋

I hope you have a beautiful day 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

ALSO 

I like Uber

random element generator 

my home ride

guy from El Salvador 

emotions processing friend from high school 

because apparently 

we now have an immediate processing policy

thinks

female president 

might just surprise us

ACCENT just heavy enough 

I'm not SURE 

emphasis 

and processing information now

I realize 

why

it's shut down normally

VERY distracting

QUICK brain CONFUSION warning

I was feeling 

somewhat POWERFUL 

and I thought 

MAYBE 

sh*t

SHUT down 

SO

I took the BAD gummie 

I'm not SURE this was my first point 

FEEEEELLS 

my first point was

VIBES...is always everything 

my second point

feeling your feelings 

will NOT, actually KILL you 

EXCEPT 

maybe it did

that period I just went through 

I'm legit possibly revisionist 

all the EMOTIONS 

tonight with the gummie 

it KINDA hurts

BUT 

then it KINDA washes in

the sweetness

of SOMETHING 

possibly somewhat CONNECTED 

shirt tails red dirt-y

I FELT the retreat as it saw me

SEE it

SOMETHING to do with 

STUFF 

and that MIGHT have been 

ALL my points 

I'll ADD

 THIS one 

a piece of this

is about performance and exchange 

I UNDERSTAND that I am 

out of sequence 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I can't explain 

the shift

BUT 

I don't feel anxious 

at all anymore 

I THINK 

the MAGIC 

was

you don't need to KNOW 

you just need to GO in the DIRECTION 

and VIBRATE at the

RIGHT frequency 

DO you TRUST yourself 

or NOT 

I've believed in my ability 

to interpret

SIGNS

& all the jung synchronicity stuff just reinforced 

AM I NOW 

gonna say THAT was CRAZY 

NOW I'm somebody 

DIFFERENT 

than the person I've been

FOREVER 

well

I was sort of

in FLUX 

& honestly I'm not sure if I thought about it 

MAYBE 

it was ALWAYS 

gonna come BACK 

MAYBE not

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚