he didn't seem to think
the awareness trickle
was unusual
or
REALLY even interesting
he did seem
a little surprised that I did it
& blah blah blah
he seems a lot more committed
to the IDEA of me
BECOMING
a comedian
than makes sense to me
& I REALLY wish
he would STOP saying
OH you HAVE to put THAT in your ACT
BUT
we had a fun moment
at the end
he was telling me
he did this keynote
& he was talking about time management
& his big hook line was
TAKE OFF your WATCHES
AND then
they PRESENTED him
with a WATCH at the end
& he was like
CRAP I was embarrassed
WHAT do YOU SAY to THAT
AND
I'm all LIKE
I CANNOT WAIT
to TAKE THIS OFF
BEFORE that
I was all LIKE
I KNOW
I should probably feel embarrassed
BUT
I don't
MY DEMAND of myself
was that I write it
& DO it
I wasn't expecting to be GOOD
the first time
AND
the fact that I was able to
IN the MOMENT
TAKE notes
about what I need to do differently
& the fact that I
DIDN'T say
Uh, UM, ya know, blah blah
NERVOUS stutter
WAS a given
that I didn't let myself down on
It's open mic nite
they didn't PAY anything
I didn't DEFRAUD anyone
THAT is what open mic is for
LEARNING sh*t
I WANTED to be a ballerina
BUT
when I realized
I was built like a line backer
& wasn't even really
THAT good of a dancer
I didn't want to do it anymore
BECAUSE
THAT would have been
SAD for me
SOME people might
just do it for FUN but that wasn't
how I felt about it
SO
I need to do THIS
until I understand it
WELL enough
to KNOW what I THINK about it
ALSO
he seemed to think
it was important
that other new guy referenced me
LIKE it meant
I made an impression
or something
I don't really understand that
I THINK it's cool
that it let me point to
something
LIKE
I helped that guy
& that it
let me laugh at myself
through him
BUT
I don't think that's what he meant
