AND
I'm not sure WHY
I'm not sure
there's any more reason to make
the therapist understand
I feel somewhat
dis-assembled
& I'm not sure
HOW
I'm going back together
I used to feel like I was CRAZY
BUT
that contributed to
my creativity
BUT
WHAT I asked
HAPPENS
if I pull myself apart
like I feel like I've done
& I'm then
NOT CRAZY enough to be special
BUT
NOT sane enough to be functional
THEN
I've LOST everything
SO you're scared, he asks
I GUESS
THAT'S what I HEAR
he says
I MEAN yes
I'm scared, but not just scared
I'm full of all kinds of emotions
that I'm not used to
FEELING
I'm used to intellectualizing my emotions
BUT
some girl on YouTube told me
Intellectualizing you emotions
is NOT processing them
AND
I'm all LIKE
OH CRAP
I'm f*CKing holding EVERYTHING
BRICK-- arm's length
I THOUGHT I had a VERY strong
sense of myself
BUT
NOW I'm not so certain
