EXPLAIN my whole thoughts
PROCESS yesterday
& I'm not sure
that I have
come to a conclusion about
whether I THINK
I should have done anything differently
I feel like
it is possible for it to
BOTH be TRUE
that I cared about them deeply
& that they were never
MINE to hold on to
& "letting" them walk out of my life
FREELY
WAS the right thing to do
the relationship I had with them
was not available for
CONTINUATION
& it's hard to parlay a mentor type thing
into being buds
we never hung out
I barely made it to any of her gigs
because I didn't have the
SPOONS
for doing ANYTHING but working
& I wasn't the kind of professional mentor
that you might keep life long
my mom ALWAYS wants something
for anything she does for you
wants you to owe her
FEEL beholden
& I didn't want ANY part of THAT
YOU are the ONE I've never been able to let go of
