on the walk back from therapy
just this one tree had them
I was telling him
about the whole Santa as a CONCEPT story
the story I got
true or not
about
my father & mother got divorced
& he took me home to his parent's
& at Christmas everyone
got me stuff
except him
& he was LIKE we're gonna say all this is from
SANTA, right
AND
they're LIKE
NO, we're NOT doing that
and everyone
gave me STUFF under their own name
BUT
there was all this TALK about
SANTA
&
I asked a LOT of questions
LIKE I got an encyclopedia set for Christmas
when I was eight
so they could say-- just look it up
AND
I told him about
I don't know WHY
BUT
for some reason
I carried a purse in first grade
I described the purse-- it was PURPLE
& he got all caught up
in the PURSE
THAT is SO
YOU
he says
WHAT does that mean
I'm vaguely uncomfortable
mostly because of the
carrying a purse
imitation
he did
BUT
the point was how I lost the purse*
*but of course I had my contact info in it so some LADY from the neighborhood found it
SHE
asked me what SANTA was bringing me
& I'm all LIKE
SANTA isn't bringing me anything
SHE
went on about how SAD it was
not to LET a CHILD believe in SANTA
AND
I was genuinely
CONFUSED
about WHY he wasn't BETTER as a CONCEPT
I thought this was
PROBABLY
NOT
a typical six year old thought
BUT
he didn't seem phased
I WANT to make CLEAR
all this SANTA talk
is NOT related to
OUR symbology
in case you were worried that I'm trying to be
WEIRDLY JUMBLED
it's all tied in with
that war on Christmas
CULTURE thing
& my childhood
& my current
I guess
MENTAL fixation works
I really hope
you see where I'm going with this stuff
I KNOW it's KINDA a rough Sketch
BUT
there's SOMETHING there
I don't think I
MENTIONED
HOW grateful I am
that I don't have to work retail at Christmas
I LOVE you VERY much
sweetheart 💋
🫶
