Turkey and pie and all that stuff
I had turkey in green beans and lemon chess pie
I keep looking at all the stuff
Like national day of morning
Which is kind of how they're rebranding Thanksgiving
I kind of stopped thinking of Thanksgiving as a pilgrim in Indian holiday so long ago that at first I was like wait what
But then of course I'm seeing that everywhere
And I get it I do I really do
But I'm having a lot of different feels about
I mean on one hand
Thanksgiving is really the only holiday I celebrate
so I really don't want it to get turned into something that I have to be unhappy about
On the other hand
I am actually feeling kind of a low-grade mourning
Over the fact that I've lost my native American identity
yeah I mean obviously I didn't have tribal affiliation and blah blah blah
but it isn't about my claiming to be native American it's about my sense of myself
And I feel real sense of sadness
At the loss of who I thought I was
And you know there's a way in which I still feel like who I am as far as my genetic heritage is unimportant doesn't tell me anything about myself I'm not better or more special or any of that stuff based on kind of who I'm related to or what my genetic makeup is but somehow
That sense of myself as part of
I don't know that just had a connection for me that didn't have anything to do with an individual person or anything genetic it was more of a spiritual component
And I was never really interested in my family tree and I'm still not
I really don't care
But I did care about that not to do with individuals
And it's like I care even less about the actual individuals than I did before
It's weird I'm not going to say it makes any sense
Normally this time of year is very stressful for me
And I try to watch Australian MasterChef or the great British bake off or whatever it's called but they're warning new seasons of either of those so I watched some top chef I like top chef but I don't like it as well as Australian MasterChef or the great British bake off
But then I'm not feeling a lot of retail stress because I'm not working retail
I love you sweetheart
I'm pretty tired
I think I figured out why I had the such a bad headache
There's a cold front coming through
It's going to get down to the sixties and then it's going to get down to the fifties and then Monday we're going to have a hard freeze of like 36°
Which considering that it hasn't dropped below 72° for a while is pretty cool I might get to wear a sweater or something
Actually on Monday I might get to wear a coat just pretty impressive
Anyway I love you
Goodnight sweetheart 💋
