the self described long-term student
who led the meditation
& I talked to emily
who described herself as staff
& gave me her email in case I ever need anything
or have any questions
I had to say something
so I was talking about the level of anxiety
about the state of the world and the
attempt to track
HOW MUCH
of that is
OBJECTIVELY WORSE
& how much was just my
not paying proper attention before
she understood what I was talking about
& when I mentioned that it doesn't help
that news is specifically geared to
get that response
& the CLICKS
& whatnot
she was LIKE, yeah, I don't even like the things I like anymore because of the level everyone seems to think you're supposed to take it to
and I understood that
& I suppose part of the problem is
TALKING about it
doesn't
DO
MUCH
and I'm reading about centers
in texas
where they are putting
EIGHT year old
PREGNANT
GIRLS
where
I'm wondering
WHAT is the likelihood that they even make it out
ALIVE
am I SUPPOSED to meditate myself
CALM from THAT
or would a more appropriate response be
to f*CK sh*t up
BUT
I'm not really in a state to f*CK sh*t up
I'm trying to put my
OXYGEN MASK
on FIRST
BUT
then I hear that black soldiers
didn't even get the g.i. bill
& I'm LIKE
f*CK
AM I
part of
the problem
I'm exhausted and all I DID was meditate
for an HOUR
talk to two people
& stop at levant bbq
where I got a stuffed potato
& shook hands with daniel the pit master
I guess I talked to him too
I watched a little news
looked for someplace else to go
because TODAY
is going to be exciting
BUT
JUJITSU
these people are
I've been calling 'em
KEYSTONE n*zis
BUT
that FEELS flippant NOW
like keystone cops
I WANT
to take a nap
my HEAD hurts
BUT
I ALSO want to be the resistance TOO
IS that
CRAZY
it FEELS a little
CRAZY
