I wanted to go to
I was trying to talk myself into
couldn't quite make myself go to the
unitarian church
that I'm trying to convince myself is walking distance
AND
I'm just NOT buying
ANY
of
THAT
& THEN I remembered there's a UNITY
and I thought about that
AND
I wasn't BUYING THAT either
you HAVE to interact with people
SO I thought
MAYBE
buddhists, maybe
I'm finding
some interesting stuff
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for
I've shut down
I'm looking for people I would enjoy to be around
I haven't tried buddhists yet
there's a place
really close
that was started by
a religion
professor
and
a therapist
it's supposed to be tibetan buddhism
AND
there's a ---nam myoho renge kyo
really pretty close
there's the zen center
in the heights
& I've known about that
didn't THINK I'd like it
SEEMS
I'm not sure whether to say
intimidating &/or off- putting
there's this
I MEAN
it's in a beautiful old house
in a neighborhood of
EXPENSIVE
houses
it's all beautiful
BUT
it's TOO MUCH too far
it feels too SERIOUS maybe
I thought about it
YEARS AGO
I didn't WANT to go
the tibetan one
I have no idea
well, that's not true
I watched some videos
I'm not sure
I watched the people who lead the meditation
I'm not sure I love the chant
I think I'd rather learn it
in tibetan
the chanting
SHOULD REALLY BE
the cool part
BUT
they seem like
REAL people
they're
TALKING to the
ASSEMBLED
group
like they are capable of
& YET
I don't really KNOW what I WANT
if I WANT the SHOW
or the people
I guess I WANT a SHOW in the SENSE that
I WANT a KINDA
ritual something something
I ALWAYS kinda
wanted that
BUT
I could never really find it anywhere
& I stopped looking years ago
BUT
it's necessary for the rebuild
I gotta interact with
the FRAMEWORK
I'm not sure
WHY
