ALSO

WHY

are all the TAROT readings 

I'm currently doing 

LOOKING LIKE 

EVERYTHING'S 

COMING UP

ROSES

OK GOD

I don't MEAN to be disrespectful 

BUT 

WHAT the SERIOUS f*CK

HOW 

is it even possible 

that THIS is the outcome 

I don't know 

WHAT 

I'm supposed to DO

NOBODY f*CKing understands what I'm talking about EVER

HOW am I supposed to 

CHANGE people's 

MINDS 

I'm sitting in Katz's happy hour 

drinking a margarita 

BUT 

I only brought twenty dollars cash

so I wouldn't just get sh*t-faced

I understand that people have 

FREE WILL and all

BUT 

what happened to 

TAKE our country BACK

& I've been trying to avoid social media

BUT I want to PUNCH andras in the face

& the few THINGS 

I HAVE seen

are HORRIBLE 

KAMALA was brave and classy and all the things you'd expect her to be

BUT 

DAMN

THAT HURT 

SO 

BAD

Imma NEED MORE from you

I understand that that is not our dynamic

BUT 

Db just spent a year

trying to bust me out of the

MADNESS 

that that ORANGE f*CK sent me into BEFORE 

SO I ask you

as respectfully as I can manage 

WHAT'S the 

PLAN 

here

an I supposed to lead people into the desert

or some sh*t

write a book about

#mERic@

just figure out my own life and not worry about it

join organizations and have to interact with bunches of people

I don't SEE

HOW 

I make this BETTER 

& LIKE 

I KNOW 

this is maybe not as BAD 

as some other times and places

BUT 

it FEELS like it

KINDA is

I SAY AGAIN 

PLEASE ADVISE 

I don't KNOW WHY

I'm NOT freaking out 

&

I STILL 

have FREEDOM in my HEAD 

I'm trying to 

NOT convinced myself to 

FREAK OUT 

because what possible benefit is to be gained

I LOVE this country 

I don't WANT to 

RUN AWAY

I MEAN 

in fact I maybe always want to run away

I WANT the country that doesn't yet exist 

I just think

maybe 

there's something I'm supposed to do 

or can do

&

I'm trying to figure out WHAT

BUT 

ALSO 

trying to meditate 

& not having

good luck with it

BUT 

the CALM makes

NO SENSE 

to me

especially on the heels of the anxiety that I've had going on for SO LONG 

I'm not being flippant or anything 

I'm LIKE 

in a different kind of place

mentally than I think

I've ever been in

when I figure out 

WORDS

I'll try to tell you about it

I LOVE you 

I understand that this is probably not 

the way I could be expected to behave

I HOPE 

I'm NOT somehow

making it more difficult 

I've got

BEYONCE 

FREEDOM 

LOUD

in my HEAD

ALSO 

BAD cold flashes

AND

I THINK I feel YOU 

in that ELECTRIC way

❤️

SO

I don't know if you are up

I just looked at 

twitter

& it LOOKS like 

the orange thing won

I don't see HOW that is possible 

I still FEEL like 

everything's fine 

MAYBE 

I'm just

SOMETHING 

I don't know what to call it

I don't see HOW 

it could be OK 

if he won

POSSIBLY I'm NOT psychic 

& MAYBE 

I just took too much magnesium 

could that account 

for it

OR

is it the CALM in a CRISIS thing

IDK

BUT 

I LOVE you 

& I'm going to bed

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚

❤️

I don't know what is up

BUT 

I'm not stressed

I still think she wins

BUT 

I have no sense of 

FEAR

whatever is going to happen 

SEEMS 

FINE 

& I can't see how t*ump winning would be fine

BUT 

I got Saturday in the park

in my HEAD

TEXAS did not flip

& it SEEMS 

unlikely 

that she wins by double digits

those were things

I thought would happen 

IDK

I can't WATCH

I've been doing RANDOM sh*t

I am CALM

I haven't been CALM

for a long time 

I MIGHT 

go to bed though 

I'm TIRED 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

goodnight 🫶 

👾🫚

this is 

STRESSFUL 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I watched that

swing state rally

I'm so scattered

BUT 

I THINK she's gonna win

BIG enough 

that they will call it

Tuesday night

or into Wednesday morning 

I don't KNOW 

what kind of proud boys fallout there might be

I have SOME fear

that they'll be out trying to stop people from voting, but that might just be

PARANOIA 

I couldn't understand the lyrics to the new one

I TRIED but I couldn't 

I hope you are safe

& not freaking out as much as me

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I feel like I might pass out

please God

I KNOW 

you didn't let t*ump die when he had COVID

like I wanted you to

PLEASE 

let that be because he needed to LOSE

to a black woman

PLEASE

& ALSO PLEASE

LET there be a REPUDIATION of the

REPUBLICAN candidates

who lied & gaslit

& basically 

sold their souls to hold on to POWER

AND PLEASE 

NO having to fight against 

AUTHORITARIANISM 

every four years

I KNOW 

there's work to do on racism

I UNDERSTAND 

that it's partially a human trait

with the fear bias against the "other"

& the opening scene of 2001 looms large

if I'm supposed to figure out this

GRIEVANCE thing

I haven't YET 

BUT 

I'm trying HARD 

I'm looking for SIGNS

I'm listening to the universe 

& I don't even know what eight miles high

in my HEAD 

this morning was supposed to mean

ALSO

I always thought 

it was three miles high

& it was always 

the SOUND 

WHAT is with me & psychedelic STUFF 

I'm not sure what kinda job I'm doing 

with this mission 

I MEAN 

if I'm screwing it up

MAYBE some feedback, I could course correct

I don't FEEL wildly successful, ya know

& I'm NOT saying you need to help

with that

from LIKE a my feelings standpoint 

BUT 

there is a mission, right

ANYWAY 

thanks for listening 

I feel like

we don't talk as much as we used to

MAYBE that's my fault 

or maybe it is just the natural way of things

PLEASE 

take care of Db for me

PLEASE 

help me get BETTER and show me

WHERE I make things better 

I KNOW 

I frequently say

I WISH I loved my mother more

BUT 

I'm NOT actually SURE that I want that

it MIGHT just

HURT more

I REALLY just want to

UNDERSTAND 

her HUMANITY and not see her as a SHELL 

it REALLY brings me down

WHY

did I choose her for this lifetime 

did I f*CK her up bad in a previous life

am I ATONING

or TRAINING 

ANY GUIDANCE 

is appreciated 

please advise

I LOVE you 

❤️

I feel like I just channelled TK

my butcher box

needed updated payment information 

I kept trying to fix it

BUT 

EVERY time

it was sending me an email link

&

when I clicked the email link 

it wasn't working 

SO I CALLED 

SORRY 

I can't help you with THAT 

I'm LIKE 

I don't understand 

I JUST need to update the EXPIRATION date 

I'm not changing anything else 

she (and she sounds older than me)

starts trying to tell me

about deleting

COOKIES 

I TRIED THAT 

I have done it 

TO THE BEST of MY ABILITIES 

my NEXT step

would be to try to get some kind of independent tech support and I don't want to have to do THAT I don't understand WHY it isn't POSSIBLE to do THIS 

I'm sorry I just can't do it here

can you CANCEL my account there

I would rather do THAT

than to have this technical problem I cannot deal with

I'm NOT trying to give you a hard time

I understand you are trying to help me

& you have been lovely

BUT 

I'm KINDA stressed out

GENERALLY 

(I was almost in tears at this point)

I do not know why

the STRESS of technology I don't understand 

is SO stressful to me

BUT it is

she told me to go have a hot tea

& she would shoot me up the

next level tech support 

I went back and LOOKED at 

the error message 

AGAIN 

read it MORE CLOSELY 

it was a re-direct problem

I THOUGHT 

well yeah

I'm being re-directed to some other site

BECAUSE 

they have some dumb system

WHY can't I just go

TO MY ACCOUNT 

& I STILL think

THAT is a legitimate question 

JUST go to my account 

LOOK at the method of payment 

BUT 

when I REALLY read 

the error message 

the re-direct

was shop app

I had it linked through there for tracking purposes 

BUT 

I probably PAID through there

SO

COOKIES

on butcher box

would not have fixed it even if I had managed to do it right, which I'm certain I did not 

BUT 

THAT is NOW 

UPDATED

SO

the next time they 

what we used to call "running the card"

it should WORK 

& I emailed her back THAT

I BET

she CAN do THAT 

💀💀💀

LOTS of thoughts

TODAY 

I'm visualizing it

SOMEHOW 

around 

America

----------------

#mERic@

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

goodnight sweetheart 🫶

👾🫚

I gotta go to sleep 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I ALSO 

was telling her

about someone I know

whose father just had a stroke 

& was super 

jumping through hoops

to try to get voted

before he went into surgery 

JUST in CASE

ya KNOW 

AND

her ONLY comment was

it must be really 

HARD

having a parent

THAT AGE

he's like basically the SAME age as her

within a year or two

WHAT 

does that MEAN 

I thought it was 

KINDA 

inspirational 

BUT 

CLEARLY not to her

she didn't go to jail or anything 

they got through the first couple years

& she had

OVER paid

so they KINDA 

LOST INTEREST 

BUT

I was SURE

she was going to 

PRISON 

& HOW was I gonna handle

THAT

I saw my mother today 

she told me

all these people 

in her family 

are for

t*ump

have you tried to 

TALK to them at all about it 

I asked

NO, she said 

I don't want any of my political beliefs 

on social media 

I don't want to be 

DEPORTED 

well

I didn't SAY she had to talk to them

"on social media"

&

SERIOUSLY 

when I was a teenager 

she was ALWAYS 

LIKE 

if you are going to buy

a "controversial" book or magazine

BE SURE 

you pay CASH for it

the government 

was ALWAYS GONNA 

COME for ya

BUT 

THEN

that CRAZY bitch

got LIKE mega AUDITED

&

when I started asking questions 

she was "paying" her taxes

BUT 

HADN'T FILLED a RETURN for like

FIVE YEARS

I was like sixteen maybe 

I'm LIKE 

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT 

I

should buy books and magazines with

CASH

(which, actually, what ELSE was I buying it with)

BECAUSE 

the GOVERNMENT is tracking me

BUT 

YOU are just gonna

F*CK around and FIND OUT

with the

IRS?!

I passed out

good morning sweetheart 💋

BLOW--vember surprise?!

OK

NOW 

I'm getting 

I know you

I danced with you 

once upon a a dream

from sleeping beauty 

I'm getting 

DAY TRIPPER

I LOVED that song

when I was a kid

SO

am I supposed to CONNECT to THAT time

OR

does it have to do with 

BEATLES code

are 

you

sending it

also there is the possibility 

THAT I AM TRIPPING 

I have a tendency 

to FOCUS on

on the

LYRICS 

?!

SO

I guess THAT maybe 

BUT 

WHAT do we do ABOUT 

the WHOLE 

GRIEVANCE situation 

I MEAN 

ACTUAL NEEDS 

can be

MET

BUT 

WHAT is going to happen 

in the near term, sure

&

that Z reporter

he has done

SOME 

AMAZING 

vaguely 

DEprogramming sh*t, just f*CKing talking to people like man on the street like

BUT 

it didn't happen 

LAST TIME 

I just WANT the answer

to be LIKE 

a REALLY BIG HUG 

there's a WAY 

it's like 

BUILDING 

SOMETHING 

AND

I'm DISadvantaged 

by

the NEED to KNOW 

what I'm building 

I'm not

SURE 

if that makes any MORE sense 

I can't tell

HOW ABSTRACT 

I'm being 

SEE

THERE 

AGAIN 

I LOVE you 🌊

I KNOW 

I MIGHT not be making SENSE 

I don't know 

HOW 

to CONVEY 

ALL

the STUFF 

& I'm getting 

BITS

of

something 

BUT 

it's HARD to HOLD on to it

& I got these note books

BUT 

if you FOCUS 

you PICK 

I'm trying to READ the STREAM 

POSSIBLY 

AND

THEN I think 

OR you're CRAZY but hear me out

THIS is a THING I DO

THIS is a thing I'm trying to LEARN how to do 

BUT 

I ALSO 

UNDERSTAND that I have 

you don't need to go all into THAT

JUST tell him the thing

there is some way

that you are

SO with me

and 

I'm sorry I'm doing a spotty job

explaining 

I LOVE you 

BUT 

ALSO 

I've been trying to understand 

& UNDERSTAND 

AND 

I am STILL 

TRYING 

to get the VIBRATE at

the RIGHT 

FREQUENCY 

thing

I'm FEELING this

WHOLE AMERICAN experience 

on all these

DIFFERENT levels

I still am not too talk-y

BUT 

I am feeling 

BETTER 

&

I guess 

Rhapsody in Blue 

is associated with the dodgers

MAYBE 

I knew that & just forgot?

JLo is a good speaker 

I've seen her act

BUT 

this didn't seem like

ACTING 

the women being like ten points ahead in the voting SEEMS to confirm 

what I think is going to happen 

SO

we shall see

BUT 

this whole taking back

AMERICA 

has proven to be 

QUITE

the reversal 

I MEAN 

it's like a coalition of 

FORGET 

all the ways America has lost it's way

ALL the reasons 

we didn't want to wrap ourselves in the FLAG

REMEMBER all the

STUFF 

that ever meant anything to you about 

what you believed to be 

TRUE about AMERICA 

it's TRUE 

or it could be 

BUT 

ONLY if we

BELIEVE 

& then finding that

MIRACULOUSLY 

I HAVE the CAPACITY 

to believe 

I HOPE you are doing well 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶 

👾🫚

❤️