I've got one hundred years ago on PTI

in my HEAD 

I woke up in the night

with leg cramps

I don't know 

if I didn't get enough water

or

what

BUT 

they were fine to walk to therapy

I've never walked

ANY of that 

WALKING 

it's like L.A.

BUT 

that bridge over the freeway

is REALLY nice 

it's a pretty bridge

& people are putting locks on

I'll take different pictures next time

it was high eighties

& I was wearing a hoody

which I thought 

I'd need to take off

BUT I didn't 

but when I was sitting in RUDZ 

I became aware

MAN, I stink!

GROWN old man

Michael kornheiser

the CARAVAN moves

this is a VALUE JUDGEMENT 

& I'm making it

you're NOT gonna miss them

when you see Anthony Edwards play

BOXING & horse racing 

are in decline

KENTUCKY derby

TRANSFER PORTAL 

ep253

little old man in a nats hat

AFNBD?

four days in a row

is too much for me at my age

I got to play with WILBON 

with his new clubs

you are not a very positive person 

says his son

it held my interest marginally

MARLINS, NATS, white Sox

are no good

MR hocus pocus JUNK

is suggesting a down grade 

from brilliant GENIUS 

to slightly incomprehensible cleverness

AND

I THINK 

THAT is all the CONFIRMATION 

we needed

I say adorable GENIUS

I forgot about TK

I will listen

this evening 

I sometimes feel 

like

I'm NOT giving you 

what you want 

what you

NEED 

from me

MAYBE 

you want me to be

a groupie

a cheerleader 

a person 

who is superficially complicated

but simple in the ways

that makes them a joy

AND 

SUBSEQUENTLY 

that I fail you miserably

just when you think

you know what's going on 

I say no no

and change

I don't know 

if this is right

or

sorta right

or

complete paranoia 

I FEEL 

pressure 

to be what I think you want

& confliction

because 

I'm not SURE 

--actually what you want

--that what you want

is something I want to be

--that I should probably focus more

on what I want

BUT 

I am almost overwhelmed 

with this feeling 

that I FAILED you 

that you needed

a specific 

SOMETHING 

that I didn't understand 

BUT 

YOU are not like

an inspiration or something for me to write 

I write because 

YOU are my connection to SOMETHING 

something that I HOPE 

to understand about

EXISTENCE 

no pressure 

🤠

I gotta go to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight beloved ONE

the walk

honestly 

was the best part

but

I got a fish sando

MOSTLY because they CALLED it

SANDO

the bartender 

from whom 

I ordered 

FOOD 

& a bottled water

was really cute

in a way

that

I would be tempted to call

FLIRTY but wasn't REALLY 

she was all LIKE 

I brought you

a complimentary ranch

because I was 

WONDERING

if you might enjoy it 

with your sweet potato fries

while SOMEHOW 

doing this 

I've been trying to describe this

for like ten minutes 

she moved through the frame

in a way that SEEMED 

both sped up

& slowed down

it was WEIRD 

BUT 

it SEEMED 

designed to attract attention 

I'm all LIKE 

oh thank you very much

& she's like

OF COURSE 

a little dramatically 

idk

OK

the topical lesson 

for the day is

there is a THING 

called porn hub

& apparently 

it's NOT 

available 

in texas 

ANYMORE 

they did a different format 

kettle draw

LIKE drawing names

out of a hat

BUT 

NOT 

so it was mixed up

& only three minutes 

THEN

they had

working comedians

testing out

new

material 

the whole shebang finished 

by ten

Cypress Hill insane in the brain

I like that song

I think it seems like 

I wouldn't 

I LOVE you 

AND

we have REACHED 

our destination 

this is the fountain that was across from the post office my gran gran went to

close to where I grew up

til 4 1/2

Ok

NOW I'm back in my old neighborhood 

by UST

Rothko chapel 

seems safe enough

YOU are the only one who KNOWS I'm walking 

15min in

I am

ALSO 

working on a plan

to strong arm myself 

into going to 

RUDZ tomorrow*

I am resisting 

it is outside of my comfort zone 

I do not go anywhere 

EXCEPT 

I go for WALKS 

all the time 

tune in

*just to vet the walk and case the joint-- see how my energy looks

I've got

let me call you sweetheart 

all in my HEAD again 

is that

you

or

me

or

the guides

that doesn't mean 

I'm looking for 

strengthening 

it's history 

& associations

& stuff

I'm not SURE 

of some stuff

I'd forgotten KINDA 

but then

Almond Joy

& MAYBE 

I'm unsure of more variables 

than I realized 

AND

I have this FEELING about

what I THOUGHT 

you thought

at certain points

along

the way

AND

I THOUGHT some things

and then

there's SOME stuff 

that doesn't 

make sense 

ANY 

of the ways I've looked at it 

SO I KNOW there's 

ANOTHER WAY to LOOK at it

and then I'm back in that

I feel like there's 

SOMETHING 

I'm SUPPOSED to UNDERSTAND 

that I DON'T understand 

and then I feel vulnerable 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

OK

I listened and wrote it down 

& now I'm copying 

what I wrote

BOWLING 

Madison Square Garden 

take your child to work

ROCKETTES 

ringer=syd

BROADWAY show league

17-10 we had fun

syd=MVP

Fill in FRANK

PARKING 

Brooklyn nets 

longer the team goes the more opportunities you have, but also the less time you get off

DAN BERN one hundred years ago on PTI

if shoeless Joe stays HEALTHY 

brilliant 

he embarrassed her

TK sense of humor 

80s cop movie 

on time, suit, pay attention 

AROUND the HORN

need a new yorker 

Isola

people come after me all the time

opinions 

don't have to be personal 

Bugs Bunny

iPhone

BRICK OVEN - brooklyn pizza

Pearl Jam

SNL after party

olive oil finger

SHAWSHANK parenthood 

if they are basing this toilet paper thing

ON public bathroom rules

THOSE are 

PRETTY much always 

gonna be OVER 

because 

LOWER use for over

equals lower cost

plus

less likely to end up on the floor

the GREG GARCIA heist

I feel 

EXTRA vulnerable 

I'm sorry 

that is super cool

it is

however 

bringing up STUFF 

for me

&

I'm not SURE 

if I'm talking today 

until

I can clear it

I LOVE you 

👾🫚

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

I have

a lot of thoughts 

BUT 

they don't seem to be

READY 

I need to sleep 

I'm thinking about you 

pretty intensely 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

🥠

GIFTing PERSONA

sounds creepy to me

MONKEY attacks 

SQUISHmallows are

WEEBLE beany baby POKEMON 

it IS

a cult

though

I like jason la canfora

Old Memorial Golf Club 

BOOGER on the draft

TAMPA comes through 

mama cried

RIBS, bbq, mac & cheese

the fulfillment of 

sitting on a bench childhood touchstone 

I agree

utter JOY 

OK

I enjoyed his description 

BUT I don't have 

COMMENTARY 

It made me THINK 

about the Borden bullpen seats

it was a promotion 

the seats were cheaper

I drank the hell outta some

BORDEN hiPROTEIN too

THING is

until then

I had a really hard time 

REALLY seeing the STRIKE zone

in THOSE seats

I finally GOT it

ALLEN is the socialite 

this is good

I'm listening to his description 

of the game

BUT 

I keep getting distracted 

thinking about you 

I'mma rewind

TK soon

🫦🫦🫦⚽

I LOVE you 

❤️

❤️

👾🫚

🥠

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight 

that song is stuck

in my head

if you're 

seeing it

not that last bit

just up to the mustache cup

whatever that is

I ALMOST 

sent you a picture of Nutella 

BUT that 

SEEMED 

EXTRA 

do you even still like Nutella 

I think I wandered around

the CVS for at least an hour 

it isn't THAT big

I think three miles is more than I usually walk

but it wasn't difficult 

I am in a weird mood today 

NOT BAD

just

different in a way I can't 

put my finger on

I figured

day three of FAST/min

twelve grams of protein or less

per day

was similar to 

end of work day

ENERGY 

I wanted to get a feel

for how far a walk

that would be 

& I checked 

the CVS down the street

is 1.4 miles

SO 

I walked to down there took me twenty five minutes 

which isn't awful 

I had to cross a bunch of streets 

I wandered around the CVS

and they had

the BP machine 

LOOK at this sh*t

I don't think I've ever had bp

this low

I'm going to say

goodnight sweetheart 

NOW 

I'm headed to bed

BUT I might

not take

the fastest route 

I am so

I was gonna say 

into you

but

that sounds flippant 

I want to say

I'm growing, but that sounds trite

my experience of the world 

since YOU are 

YOU are the most

EXCITING 

part

MIND on FIRE 

👾🫚

🥠

edited again, weird autocorrect not caught before

MAN

I am getting 

these FLASHES 

of YOU pushing up your sleeves*

*that way you do

I do not KNOW 

🫦

probably 

I should clarify 

YOU have

this graceful WAY you MOVE

there are bits 

that

POSSESS me

did time at Bingham 

it is

KINDA remarkable 

the ATMOSPHERE of this show

TicTok

I wanna say

out OUT damned SPOT*

*but I can't explain why 

FREE ice cream*

*sadder than you think

human MONKEY war

has REACHED 

a HEAD

booger next

edited

OK

now they're all gonna GAUNTLET 

I MEAN 

I need to

CLARIFY 

I am pointing out 

NOT throwing down 

I was just in the

KITCHEN 

making

TEA

& you were behind me

TOUCHing

my 

NECK 

OH

I am SO excited 

TK is going to a GAME 

with

the socialite*

*I don't know who that is, but I'm not sure I'm supposed to know-- nickname or cover

--only the SHADOW knows

I KNOW 

they aren't past the COMMERCE

I got allergies 

REALLY bad growing up 

I got sinus infections 

PRETTY much 

EVERY year

in college during mid terms 

I CALLED my doctor 

I'm all LIKE 

I can't come in I have that SAME sinus infection

I get every year can you call me in a prescription 

NO

SO 

I went to

MOVABLE FEAST

& found

BOIRON sinus

and in three days it was GONE 

THAT was KINDA 

GATEWAY 

OH

buckle up

THIS gummy is good

WHAT the COMEDY thing DOES* 

is provide an ANALOG

to the ten days in the desert

*working theory

BEFORE I listen 

to TK

I should MAYBE clarify 

BUT 

I can't REMEMBER 

when or where I played with a switch blade 

he was telling me 

I should get one

OR he could get me one

it was weird 

ALSO 

of course 

ALL that FUNNY stuff 

I DO that my therapist was telling me 

it's NONE of it

SUPPOSED to be funny 

JUST me

INTERACTING 

ALSO 

SOMETHING about

*what can I call it

*STATIONS of the FUNNY 

made STUFF start

SPINNING 

AGAIN 

lots of FEELS

I guess I passed out without saying goodnight 

I am with my mom today 

probably 

no TK until tonight 

I hope you are having 

a beautiful day sweetheart 

❤️

OH yeah

I guess I BLOCKED this

I was talking about 

the WALKING idea

&

I said

I thought it was PROBABLY safe

I had slight worry

he's like 

GET a KNIFE 

AND

pulls a SWITCH BLADE out

of his bag

which

HE CANNOT open*

*I show him how it works, it was surreal

he ALSO 

was all like

do you have you act

READY 

&

I'm like no

I need six minutes 

I'm figuring it out 

he's like 

it's only six minutes 

is it just me

it just all seemed 

WEIRD 

I've been experimenting 

with protein 

I don't know if I told you

about the egg white 

idea

BUT I decided 

no

& I thought maybe 

if I could find a clean whey

I found one*

I mixed it with coconut water 

it has no sweetener at all

& it has COFFEE 

it's two scoops a serving 

I did three scoops for 40g

and it didn't seem 

to have caused any problems 

I mix a chia thing that's about 10g

the chlorella tabs are 5g

then I also took perfect aminos

which is supposed to be 

equivalent 30g

is that really

how your body utilizes it

I'm not sure HOW

let's say

yes

that's 85ish grams of protein 

BREAKFAST 

LUNCH  35g

DINNER I'm not sure lentils

about 35g

+ chlorella 5g

+ aminos  30g

that is perhaps 190g

that is about as much as I can handle

I did a string like that

TODAY 

is the first FAST/mim

my therapist 

was actually saying 

like THIS thing that you do

it could be in your

ACT

what kind of FUNNY are you

by which he meant

STYLE 

& I'm LIKE idk

roughly OBSERVATIONAL I guess

he was all like

don't get offended okay 

& I'm LIKE 

in my experience 

NOTHING 

that starts with

DON'T get OFFENDED 

ever

ends well

he just wanted to imitate me

to show me

the FUNNY things 

I DO 

it didn't offend me 

BUT 

it was

WEIRD 

*Opportuniteas grass-fed whey protein isolate 

AND

maybe this isn't obvious 

I asked myself 

what would you like to say that you were

& I said comedian 

I don't think I ever 

SERIOUSLY considered

in FACT I'm pretty sure 

it just NEVER got

CONSIDERED

NOW 

I haven't done it yet 

BUT why would I not TRY

MAYBE 

it will work out

maybe it will be obviously WRONG 

BUT knowing what I know about me

it's gonna go BETTER 

if I follow my

INTUITION 

I FEEL the money concern

I REALLY feel the money concern

in FACT 

right this moment 

I'm FEELING the money thing

PRETTY hard

&

I'm wondering if the comedy thing

is some kind of psychological 

TACTIC I'm using on myself

I guess

I WORRY that

OH CRAP sh*t is lining up

I'm trying to get my sh*t together

AND

I have this FEELING 

that trust the process 

BUT 

MAYBE it's something 

RANDOM unexpected that happens 

I was suspicious 

of the manic

red flag

& the fact

that I didn't even think about the bar & night

& crowds of people 

I'm LIKE is that

a sign

that

I don't I don't remember what I said*

*and this is clearer anyway

I'm CLEARLY bypassing 

WHOLE PARTS 

of my mental processing 

is THAT a GOOD thing

because I'm not letting anything 

BECOME an obstacle 

OR is it just

manic daydream 

I DO WANT to see you

this is not some weird brush off

I just don't think 

that tutoring thing 

I'm NOT SURE what I THINK 

I'm still trying to figure out 

HOW I could make that WALKING thing WORK

LAST WEEK 

I was tired and wanted to go home

I got roped in to a little group thing at the studio 

THEY ASKED me 

if I was WORKING on 

SOMETHING else 

I said yes

a book

FICTION or NON FICTION 

fictionalized 

a modified EPISTOLARY form

I'm DEVELOPING 

I just said THAT in the MOMENT 

I MEAN I KNEW that's what I was doing 

BUT I'd never said it ALOUD 

I'm not sure about my therapist 

he's definitely doing something 

&

I'm trying to remind myself 

that he isn't 

free from human stuff

just because he's 

a professional 

BUT 

I FEEL like TODAY 

was WEIRD 

& LIKE 

I'm making progress 

BUT I might 

just be

MAD

you do this THING 

OR

MAYBE it's me

I'm NOT trying 

to let go

I FEEL like

THAT

NEEDS to be said

I would like 

NOT 

to feel like it needs to be said 

BUT 

it might just be

the CRONO thing-y 

I don't mean 

LIKE for anything 

just YOU 

YOU do

understand

HOW much

I NEED you, right

❤️

I was KINDA afraid 

to tell my therapist about 

the comedian thing

BUT 

he was like

YEAH

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚❤️💌🫦

in fact

I was all LIKE 

HOW far is RUDZ from 

ART SUPPLY*

*2.6 miles

maybe I can just WALK straight 

AFTER work on

MONDAY 

get my EXERCISE in

& THEN 

uber home

in reviewing THIS 

it SEEMS 

a little 

MANIC 

AND hey

I did say something about 

LIKING to be UP

TWENTY hours

it's like 

when you're playing SIMS 

& your sim just passes out in the street

speed zzzzzzing

for LIKE 

six seven hours 

before you

can WAKE em

I can't believe 

I am just

blasse blasse

gonna go to a bar

late at night

ALONE

I didn't think 

it's NOT normal for me

BUT 

THAT doesn't HAPPEN 

without YOU 

DRAGGING me BACK 

into the WORLD 

SO

THANK you 

bt dubs

APPS 

DUKE

people don't usually leave en masse*

*I feel confident in not looking that up

NIL $ directly to kids

NOT real schools

Greek or Latin 

NIGEL you F*CK

tinfoil

OMA?

AI WORKERS

VERY RUDE not impressed

federal FRITTER

HI JIM

TEN consecutive PALINDROME days

CARVEL

HATFIELDS & CAPULETS

childhood TRAUMA rumdum

the ARC of history BENDs toward OREGON

GRAND MARSHAL next year

THAT should get you

a good parking 

SPOT 

my neighbors are

VERY RARELY 

AUDIBLE 

right now they are possibly apoplectic 

SPORTS*

*I'm guessing 

SORRY I'm having TROUBLE 

starting again

I haven't 

FINISHED thinking 

I had this experience 

with POPCORN 

my BRAIN is 

TRYING 

REALLY hard to CONNECT it to SOMETHING else

DO NOT 

try to tempt yourself 

with HEALTHY 

treats

you will just eat the thing you WANT 

in the end

MANAGE the DAMAGE 

SIX FIVE & eighty

CAITLIN CLARK 

GOLFwise

astros

ALTUVE*

*need to check the highlights reel

AGAIN with the SWEATER dilemma

I FEEL more positively

ABOUT WILBON 

today

BUT 

I can IN NOW WAY

explain that

BDZ!!!

NELLY KORDA

I zoned out a little 

I'm going to back up

they are in a VIBE

OK

THAT was 

REALLY nice

I feel like

I just saw the 

SQUISHY center

but

NOW I'm getting marshmallow malomar

americana goodness

it is ALMOST impossible 

NOT to feel slightly 

ENDEARed

to them

I can SEE 

RANDOM interval being

the STRONGEST*

WHY you'd 

put up with the BICKER

*form of conditioning 

OK

fixin to listen to TK

BUT 

I just keep remembering seeing 

bill hicks 

I didn't go to SEE him

I was just at the comedy workshop 

Charlotte and I 

THAT was a thing 

that we did

I think we had gone

to see improv

I didn't know who he was

he wasn't famous 

BUT 

this was the place

SAM kineson 

CRUCIFIED himself 

at the convenience store 

ACROSS the street

SO I MEAN 

MAYBE he wasn't scheduled 

ALL I KNOW 

I can't stop thinking about it 

I watched a lot of comedy 

GROWING up 

BUT 

he did this THING I couldn't remember 

EVER being AWARE of before 

HE MADE a CIRCLE 

he started off

HERE and then he

WALKED you THROUGH 

an ADVENTURE in his WORLD

and then he brought 

you

PERHAPS safely 

on HOME*

it's one of the high points 

BUT it was a

complete COINCIDENCE 

*he ended on the same line, I'm not even saying it was a good line exactly, it was then, maybe, the important thing was how it functioned it was genius the actual line was: I think of myself as more of a hate stylist

I think I feel you

is something 

EXCITING 

going on 

OR

am I just

WEIRD 

GOOD morning sweetheart 

I'm at art supply today 

SO TK won't be until 

TONIGHT 

I LOVE you VERY much 

I hope you're having a beautiful day 

❤️

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

🫶

I didn't mean to 

SKIP saying goodnight 

ALSO 

I FEEL like 

you don't FEEL 

I'm not sure how to put it

PRAISED enough 

RECOGNIZED 

by me

BABY 

YOU are GREAT 

you are a f*CKing FREIGHT TRAIN of

TALENT

and HEART

& I'm sorry if 

I didn't give you

what you need from me

I did try to warn you

BUT 

if you have some question

about my BELIEF in you

PLEASE KNOW 

YOU'VE GOT the STUFF 

PRIME 

I'm NOT the one most qualified 

to tell you that

BUT 

I DO BELIEVE it 

with all my HEART

I was explaining to my therapist 

my problem*

*with regard to deciding what I want to be when I grow up**

**in my phraseology I see another problem 

I never had one thing that was a BURNING desire 

I have a lot of things 

I enjoy to do

BUT 

when you play it OUT 

there are THINGS 

that makes it

not worth it

& without the BURNing

ya know

the stuff that makes it make money

ruins it for me

so I took jobs

BUT 

if I'm doing it

I will make THAT the thing

WHAT 

I'm doing NEEDS to be 

A THING ya know

& he's like 

BURNING is too high a standard

WHAT 

do you 

WANT 

to do

WELL so I thought ABOUT it 

coming from a

DIFFERENT 

angle

I've NEVER thought about it 

THIS way

and I'm a little nervous to tell you

I asked myself 

well

WHAT

would you MOST LIKE to 

TELL someone 

you were

&

like RIGHT AWAY 

I come back

COMEDIAN 

& then

I'm all LIKE yeah

THEY are the 

SHAMANIC messengers

YEAH let's NOT get AHEAD of ourselves 

YOU been telling yourself 

SOME BIG story

ABOUT how

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS 

ANYTHING you have to say

HOW you HATE 

having to EXPLAIN 

your ART

NOW 

you want to GET UP in front of 

PEOPLE 

SAY some sh*t

& POTENTIALLY get heckled

SURPRISINGLY 

it still SEEMED to be 

something I WANTED to do 

SO

I've decided 

I have to do it

MAYBE 

it will 

be

the thing is

this whole time 

I've been working on a variety of things 

BUT 

I've been coming at

LIKE 

what do you want your life to be LIKE 

let's build AROUND THAT

& MAYBE 

comedian fits THAT too

MAYBE 

I've performed FUNNY 

BUT not

LIKE THAT 

& it is

POSSIBLE 

that this is CRAZY 

BUT 

I'm SURE first time on an open mic

will be late and sparce

I have STUFF going on 

in my BRAIN 

a lot of 

STUFF 

BUT 

NONE of it is ready to talk yet

I LOVE YOU 

👾🫚

I'm going to try

SOMETHING 

I'm a little nervous about 

I HAVE thought about it 

& I'm PRETTY sure 

I've talked about it before 

there are MORE opportunities 

than I THOUGHT 

I need six minutes 

of material 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚❤️💌🫦

OKLAHOMA 

❤️❤️❤️

I get the show through audible 

EXTRA LARGE chocolate guy

RUSTICO

SWEATing

COURTNEY courtney courtney 

BUG zapper 

connective tissue

HOCKEY is a VERY 

LUCK driven

SPORT

NO AGAIN 

we TALKED about this 

EARLIER 

WINNIPEG 

Florida, Carolina 

I don't know anything either 

but you don't know that

did he say

on the backs of javalinas 

TURNSTILE COUNT

TAYLOR how do you feel about basketball 

I don't know anything about hockey

just give me a pass

WHY

are we TALKING about hockey

NBA's 

number ONE concern

QUANTITY 

what makes it COMBUSTIBLE 

CHEDDAR BISCUIT

OK

I'm gonna make another pu erh

& listen to TK 

❤️

my mom wanted to go to galleries

I WANT this 

I mean I'm not getting it 

obviously 

BUT 

LOOK at it 

it's AMAZING 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚❤️💌

they're ARRESTING protestors 

I read al Jazeera 

I'm not SURE WHY

I think 

I thought they would be

overcompensatingly FACT heavy

does that MAKE sense 

OR

does it JUST 

sound CRAZY

OK

I have a lot of STUFF on my MIND 

I was trying to decompress 

& also kinda rein it in

trump is trying to PROVOKE 

he WANTS them to put him in JAIL for

ANYTHING what does it 

MATTER 

they MIGHT be gonna form

a COALITION 

to SHUT OUT the 

FIRESTARTERs

I don't even know what's going on at Columbia 

I was missing 

listening to the 

TK show

SO 

MAGICALLY 

I got an ad for butcher box

who has no current code

BUT 

will give you a bag of sock eye

every month for a YEAR

& has

TURKEY bacon

& bison

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚❤️💌🫦

JUST as WET

BROWN BONNET 

ep307

GONG SHOW 

I forgot the gong show

YES YES of course 

I loved SCTV 

GAUNTLET 

it stands where THAT SUGGESTS Tony

I KNOW that's really cynical

and that it MIGHT NOT 

be grounded 

in FACT 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I THINK this would be

an interesting 

year to

SEE

the OLYMPICS 

MAJOR IMPACT PLAYER 

there were I think at least two times 

my aunt joan listened

to basketball 

out 

at a restaurant 

with me

earplug connected to transister radio

NEVER 

SAID 

anything ABOUT basketball 

WIND CAUTION 

BREAK CITY 

guy in the front laughing

identity a LEAD car

TK is like double dog daring CC not to choke

she now carries the honour

of ALL womynknd

not code, funny cat story, going to listen to TK now

my cat wants to go out

& I don't let him

at night

BUT 

there's a new cat in the neighborhood 

who would probably bite him

in the ass as he runs away 

WHICH 

is contrary to my 

kitty we are at a loggerheads

I say

not SURE whether I 

MEANT to say it

WRONG then

UNSURE 

whether 

SO

much

did I fancy

the contraction

we find ourselves at

a point of loggerheads

he STOLE my CHAIR

❤️❤️❤️

I had a bad headache 

after therapy 

and the after therapy 

errands 

I lay down 

I just woke up

I was still in my clothes 

I didn't expect to fall asleep 

I didn't know 

what I wanted to say 

because I was thinking

about racket

and wasn't sure what I thought 

I gotta work at art supply 

I gotta get up at five thirty 

& I didn't set an alarm

I still don't feel good 

I gotta go back to sleep 

or I'm screwed

BUT 

I didn't want you to think 

I just skipped 

TALKing

well I DID skip talking 

I guess

I didn't skip thinking about you 

I LOVE you VERY much 

BUT 

I'm somewhat still puzzling out

& I didn't feel like 

talking about therapy 

SORRY I didn't mean to flake

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

🤠 I can't find an emoji for headache

👾🫚❤️💌

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚💌

the CHIN too

I should not leave that out

it's GOOD and

MAYBE more importantly 

the CHIN is SATISFYING 

as are also

the EARS

which are COMPLETELY satisfying 

the left ear

lives in REALITY 

but

the RIGHT EAR takes on a TRANSCENDENT 

ESCHER abstraction

which draws the eye THROUGH & AROUND 

it's one of those THINGS 

where it's LIKE oh that's not quite RIGHT 

but THEN it is the 

ENGINE 

of the FLOW

I have a lot of 

FEELS 

about THAT one

that kinda 🪸 🪸 color

is one I REALLY like

the lettering

the jauntiness & movement 

the way it KINDA 

rises and submerges

through the surface

is KINDA sexy*

*is that weird

the use of COLOR in

the FLESH

all the pink with

green shadows

the FEATURES of the FACE

the lips

the DEEP EYES

BEAUTIFUL 

WILBON 

SEMI-trash talking

TIGER at the same time

as semiPRAISEing him

WHY was COURTNEY 

the hottest girl in highschool 

ASKed EVERY girl

he still has contact with from highschool 

SCOTTY 

MIGHT just be HOT

COOKIE is FIRED UP

TAXMAN mailbag

those four hotels in the path are gonna fill up fast

GATSBY

PANTONE 342

MAYBE 

THAT chipotle is

LIKE money laundrying

PTI-TK green rolls

SPOOKYnook

THE MAN I'M RELATED to by BIRTH

see those Z's

THEY 

WANT to equalize

the Zs give me HOPE largely

TK golfed in the MASTERS

the WEATHER was not good

he played well

& he was HAPPY 

I could never keep

BOGIE 

EAGLE 

that stuff 

LIKE in my HEAD 

I took golf & bowling for my p.e. in UH

I WANTED to take 

weight training and billiards

BUT I couldn't 

make the scheduling work

& I figured 

my paw paw was semi-pro

SURELY I had some genetic skill

BUT it was NOT apparent 

I did win

MOST IMPROVED in bowling

BUT I wasn't GOOD 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

❤️

I'm trying to get the angle

of that highschool 

picture

& I can't smile

with my eyes open

anymore 

apparently 

here's a smile 

this one looks like I'm fixin to get in some trouble 

I need a haircut 

the length isn't the problem 

it's just all

WONKY 

I can't decide 

that I like these

they may not stay

I LOVE you 

& MAYBE it would be 

BETTER if

I was all FANCY about it

I was all impressed about the 10 

I was trying to give

ROYAL JELLY 

but

I THINK 

THAT maybe didn't 

work out so WELL 

I really do THINK ABOUT you 

all the TIME 

& STUFF 

❤️

I'm NOT REALLY

QUALIFIED 

to give you ANY 

ADVICE 

I can 

ONLY 

tell you what I WISH 

SOMEONE 

had done for me

HELP in ways that ACTUALLY help

NOT ways

that just make you feel good

WOW 

that was enough of a downer

I think I'll stop THERE 

It's SOLID ADVICE tho

& the mental exercise to figure out

what's ACTUALLY helpful 

IF you do it RIGHT 

SHOULD 

PRETTY MUCH 

cover anything else

I'm not asleep yet

you are the person 

I carry around with me

in my HEART 

YOU are 

SO MANY things

& I have a VERY active 

IMAGINATION 

it makes me

SAD

to think MAYBE I should be 

EDITING 

AND really 

I JUST am who I AM 

ya know

BUT 

I'm pretty sure 

that's what I got going for me 

AND really 

if it's NOT then I don't KNOW what 

I want peanut butter 

I'm not even really hungry 

I REALLY hope

I'm OVER REACTING 

ANYWAY 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚💌

I just got this FLASH 

you UNDERSTAND that

I'm saying 

THAT

was a ROMANTIC CONSTRUCTION 

& the TREASURED

MOMENT 

quality the POETRY, right

YOU aren't LIKE 

FOCUSING 

on whether every part of it paints you in A WAY

RIGHT 

because it just occurred to me 

I might be a bitch again 

I'm NOT 

& I WILL NOT be 

I MAYBE am just trying 

to get the image

of

the "peace" candidate OUT of my HEAD

MAN

THAT analysis 

this whole thing//possible implications 

has KINDA spiked my ANXIETY 

I don't know 

I THINK it's at least LIKELY 

that they DID know

the stuff WOULDN'T 

get through 

because they have a FUTURE WAR

they're trying to TRAIN for

MAYBE 

I don't know what I'm talking about 

I'm NO expert 

on any of that SO YES I absolutely 

DO NOT know what I'm talking about 

it just SEEMS to me

OH MAN

do NOT play the SIRENS 

WHAT 

do you THINK 

iran is hoping to 

PROVOKE 

it SEEMS obvious 

to ME 

they are NOT 

JUST 

responding 

BUT the WAY they're 

going ABOUT it

I WONDER 

if they are trying for SOMETHING 

SPECIFIC like 

from 

the US

I'm NOT sure 

EXACTLY what I'm talking about 

I mean they are FLEXING 

for sure

BUT 

they MAY be trying 

to draw Biden into something 

trump will leave them ALONE 

I'm just watching the news

CNN

I thought wolf was old in the first gulf war

because he had gray hair 

BUT 

he must been in his thirties

not all the disparate things

relate to each other

if that makes sense 

I am mostly impressed 

THAT 

she did this sort of 

GROWN UP

THING

but she has obvious performance ability 

when I've heard her 

play and sing

which I'm not sure if that applies

HERE 

I think she has

a distinct VOICE 

BUT at first 

it didn't seem like she was seeking

the right whatever for her voice

& THAT has resolved 

THEN

she was obviously 

FOCUSED on the playing component 

which made SENSE 

THIS is just GOOD 

NOT like

GOOD for blah blah

JUST an integral part of the WHOLE 

BUT STRONG, ya know

BUT 

when I say

I'm impressed 

I MORE mean 

THAT she did it EVEN 

if I understand the struggles of this COHORT 

THIS kind of ability to

FIND the work or whatever 

is so much more

COMPLICATED 

in some WAYS 

more diffuse, possibly more opportunities 

BUT not without 

GUMPTION 

I'm impressed with 

what I assume to be

parental help and support 

ALTHOUGH 

perhaps not, perhaps it's just her

I think she's gonna be FINE 

& if she's able to do 

WHAT she wants

I mean 

THAT'S the goal, right 

SEEMS like

this is proof of LIKE 

finding a WAY 

I'm pretty impressed 

I gotta go to bed 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight 🫦💌👾🫚

I used to

have a lot more

OR MAYBE 

I didn't 

it's 

EMOTIONALLY and

there are BITS 

that REFLECT, ya know

I've sung this SONG to you BEFORE 

BUT it sort of HAPPENED 

AGAIN 

but not or different 

ANYWAY 

the layering of the THINGS 

THEN & then & then

and NOW 

🍊

YEAH

I've been listening 

&

if I only had ONE Tori Amos 

it would HAVE 

to be THIS one

JUST 

it is the SOUNDTRACK 

of my CORE

LOVE 

mythos

on the plane

to the place

I read the WAY of the BEE

&

on the ROAD there

I listened to 

DISC 1 of VENUS & back

AND 

it's REALLY gotta be

the whole disc one

which I started to say

SIDE one

ONCE and future speak 

BUT 

what ALWAYS comes to me FIRST 

JOSEPHINE and it

MEANT so much to me

in SUCH a poetic WAY 

I SAW

NAPOLEON recently 

I was listening to the REVOLUTIONARY podcast

that film was so

SURREAL 

& it fit that song so well

SO then

it was EVEN MORE surreal

the layering of ALL those things

so it was all ABOUT 

YOU 

SOMEHOW 

I was VERY busy

learning things 

while I was avoiding 

doing my taxes

NOW 

I can't concentrate well enough 

SO

I'm mostly 

thinking about 

how adorable you are

I've decided I miss baseball the way I used to

follow a team

I don't know what this says about me

BUT I'm a national league girl

DESPITE the fact 

that that Red Sox game

with the Frankenstein-ed ankle

where I was up till two or three

makes my highlights reel

I don't like the DH 

which I guess they ALL do now

but there's all that

fouling back

and they aren't the teams 

I'm USED to seeing 

SO

I mean the Astros 

are like a triple NOPE*

*at least

I decided I don't necessarily need 

A TEAM 

I could just FOLLOW baseball 

I may do that mlb.com thing again

I really enjoy there

PITCH thing-y

especially if it's in combination 

with radio

BUT we'll see 

what I tried and really liked 

watch YouTube MLB

daily highlights 

watch game highlights 

of the interesting ones

BIGGER picture 

MAN

I WANT peanut butter 

I'm not SURE 

I might not be getting 

AUTOPHAGY 

I can usually tell 

the loose skin on my neck

TIGHTENS

I'm not sure at EXACTLY what point 

it's end of day three now

WELL 

I got a bunch of twos

5,7,5,7,ruin

another 10

& King of cups & pentacles

& the lovers

& Ace of Cups

SO

I'mma go with

I need to not get spoiled on

SOMETHING 

pretty AMAZING 

OK

I've got

too late for goodbyes

in my HEAD 

does that mean

you're FREAKED out 

& want away from me

OR

SOMETHING else

THIS is 

FOCUS on you

even if it doesn't seem like it 

I gotta SPEAK sports 

I get baseball 

pretty well

I get football SOME 

BASKETBALL 

I understand that it's about

ENERGY 

BUT 

THAT is pretty much it

I've been interested 

for a while 

BUT 

it's NOT gonna learn itself 

I HOPE 

we good 

GOOD morning sweetheart 

I LOVE you 

VERY much 

🤠👾🫚

🍪🍪🍪

that picture of me 

that reminds me 

of Napoleon Dynamite 

it was my aunt joan's favorite 

of all my highschool pictures 

I sorta think 

for the same reason 

I guess 

I look pretty and normal 

SO

probably it doesn't actually LOOK LIKE 

what I THINK it looks like

CRAP 

it got LATE 

I'm down a rabbit hole

BUT 

I'm trying to UNDERSTAND 

BASKETBALL 

I gotta go to sleep though 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

I used to do this 

FIVE DAY diet

when I was growing up 

starting at maybe eleven

I got it

from my aunt joan 

it was supposed to be 

FOOD COMBINING

I regularly lost

ten pounds 

in five days

idk

if it was food combining or not 

it was pretty low calorie 

BUT not that low

I remember the breakfast 

THAT was the same 

EVERY day

COFFEE or tea black

one EGG no oil or butter

one slice DRY wheat TOAST

HALF a grapefruit 

LUNCH and DINNER 

I KNOW there was a dinner 

LAMB CHOP & asparagus 

I'm PRETTY sure 

there was a tuna salad

NO MAYO 

I LIKED the breakfast 

the other meals

were mostly 

LIKE 3-4oz of meat with veg of SOME sort

it was not a lot of food

BUT 

it was manageable 

ya know

SO

when I FIRST read about

FAST/mim

it just sorta resonated

AND

it's NOT a lot of calories 

& it's not real conducive to work

it's MORE like a cleanse*

three is the perfect number of days

for a cleanse

*except their system is not in the slightest bit cleansing it is designed to be the correct ratio of macros but it's very processed

I'm testing different THINGS 

I still WANT to get the autophagy 

BUT 

what CAN I do

HOW CAN I combine things

I'm TESTING 

I've read I don't remember 

exactly how many things

less than that makes it sound like

& watched a fair few videos about

AUTOPHAGY 

blah blah protein mTOR

I can't find ANYTHING about

FAT limitations 

CALORIES yes

BUT 

what ABOUT 

NUTRIENTS

if you boost NUTRIENTS 

you can perform BETTER 

on FEWER calories 

like the vega system

EXCEPT 

like the opposite 

I was on a schedule 

two five days cycles a month

ten, five, ten, five, ten, five

BUT 

then I took six weeks off 

for the end of the year

got SICK

blah blah COLD 

PROBIOTICS 

sprouts

tweaking th

e percentages 

I guess it's hard to listen to

BUT I AM

SUPER into THIS 

& I like watching videos 

where other people do experiments

THAT Keltie O'Connor or something like that 

she was a basketball player 

MAYBE professional 

BUT 

I sorta think at least mostly college 

hang on

YEAH Canadian college basketball 

figures she'd be Canadian 

I seem to gravitate 

ANYWAY 

I'm just babbling now

This reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite 

it's junior year of highschool I'm pretty sure 

this is me and Gigi 

these I had just never seen before 

I've never seen that one with me and Gigi either 

BUT 

I thought they were cute

I'm modifying breakfast 

I feel a need for more fiber

& I missed the chia

BUT 

I don't want to raise 

protein and carbs too much

SO

I made the chia

with only two TBS of chia

and slightly more than half

a COCOYO 

I gotta go to bed 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

MAN

NOT ONLY do I want broc shot

I WANT that BRODO bad

I have wanted to try it

ever since 

I was READING about it 

YEARS ago 

NOW 

you can have it delivered 

I feel some KINDA way 

BUT 

I'm not REALLY sure 

WHAT way

ya know

I have not 

DEMONSTRATED a pattern

of bone broth

CONSUMPTION 

& it's NOT 

CHEAP 

I AM 

so far TALKING myself 

OUT of it 

but there's a sort of wake and sway

the broc shot

is not entirely convincing 

it's DRIED sprouts

MAYBE it can maintain enzymes 

or maybe it is WORTH talking 

despite lacking 

LIVE food-ness

I would RATHER just drink a shot

than have to deal with boxes of sprouts 

I like the SIMPLICITY of it 

BUT 

I am not convinced COMPLETELY 

BONES is out

TIGER

the RUST you can SHAKE 

FEVER 

prep freak

LIV pressure

blaring music, shorts, shotgun start

BURN it DOWN?

ANGRY HATT?

ep12

CHOXY games

I always thought I saw them

CAITLIN CLARK 

TIMEing is EVERYTHING 

the CAITLIN CLARK effect

the INMATES are running the ASYLUM 

down at the CHIPOTLE 

I love how people REACT 

when they SEE me

NL Central

PIRATES

ELLY Della Cruz 

OHTANI 

the Yankees are iffy

PITCHERS are 

DROPPING like flies

YEAH

you were more specifically RIGHT 

than I woulda thought 

ABOUT 

tommy John's

that made me THINK 

of debbie telling me 

in algebra class

number whatever it was

was wrong 

and then I had a big MORAL debate

with myself

about 

whether I was allowed 

to even check it

ms zeitoun was always like

you can not ALL sit next to elizabeth 

I had forgotten about that 

🤠

SO 

WOW 

there's ANOTHER TK

OK

I modified the menu 

I forgot 

I bought cilantro micro greens

so I had tomato+cmg

with 2TBS C8-mct 

+a small handful of 

GOLDEN berries 

the mct oil is fairly satiating

OK

TK

I just took a HOT

SHOWER 

because I was having 

COLD FLASHES 

really bad

I think fast/mim triggers 

the temperature disregulation

& that's WHY 

the COLD 

was SUPER bad for fast/mim

ANYWAY 

while I was in the shower 

two more departments chimed in

TITS & ASS from chorus line 

in my HEAD 

&

68% chance there's a viable

DIET something 

at the end of this

SO

anyhoo 

🫶

I think

BACH is my guides

teasing me

like oooooo cute little 

BEAUTIFUL mind

OR

LIKE when I was doing the WINE

at FIRST there was a budget

BUT 

when the company started doing WORSE 

they switched to 

HERE'S a few thousand dollars 

MAYBE you'll get more

MAYBE NOT 

BUT 

DON'T order less than these quantities 

in the "AUTOMATED" order program

SO ORDER them in the program 

BUT delete them

AFTER the order is created 

BECAUSE 

LIKE I NEVER could quite get 

my manager to SEE

we NEVER sell more than six of THAT HERE

THOSE levels are based on 

NATIONAL 

if I order THAT

I can't afford sh*t we WILL SELL 

AND I'm showing him

REPORTS

BUT he still doesn't GET it

OR

at the coffee place

I'm explaining how the NEW

STREAMLINE-ing system

HAS LOWERED my 

PROFIT percentage

from 30

to 15

& so MAYBE 

should be reviewed

AND

he's like

WHY are you LOOKING 

at PROFIT 

we don't BONUS

on PROFIT 

???!!!

AND 

whereas

I was always like

if you can think of a better way

TELL me 

& if it's something we can do 

we'll do it

& if it's something we can't 

I'll EXPLAIN 

WHY we can't 

or why it's NOT really BETTER 

THEY are resistant 

to CHANGE 

of ANY sort

LIKE 

I probably would have tried to SET UP the RACKS 

so they could just be STOCKED 

from the BACK 

BUT 

you would have less work

& more accuracy

if you JUST 

PRICED everything when it came in

PUT it in the RACK 

easily in front when you NEED it

THEN REVERSE the order

when you change the stickers

for things that sell slower

PUT a DOT on the tag

when you change the price each year

DECIDE the number of years

you feel good about 

when you get THAT number of dots

CLEARANCE it at COST

OR donate it 

OR put it in a grab bag

it's NOT food

& they don't EXPIRE 

BUT if it's SUPER critical 

you could put a date tag

separate from price

BUT that's EXTRA

in my opinion 

OH

and the "register" fiddly system

isn't even the FUNNY one

the TUBES of Golden acrylics 

they HAVE to be put

in the RACKS

in FIFO*

* first in first out which is pretty standard 

HOWEVER 

this means that

ANY time you restock them

EVERY tube of paint has to be pulled

OUT 

and set on the little ledge

in a way

that you'll remember 

to put them BACK

in the RIGHT order

NOW I get this

BUT it is not as easy to accomplish 

if there are customers 

or ANYTHING going on

the extra like BACK STOCK paint

has to be alphabetical underneath

& I fully support 

the alphabetical thing 

because otherwise it's hard to find 

when you need it

BUT 

they want the date and price

ON THE BOX

NOT on the individual TUBES 

which MEANS 

they HAVE to be priced when they are PUT OUT 

which TEDIOUS-es the process up nicely 

BUT WAIT 

EVERY TUBE

has the price sticker

SCRAPED OFF

EVERY YEAR

& re-stickered when the PRICE changes

SO

there is NO WAY 

to actually tell

HOW old

the paint is

&

APPARENTLY I've been doing it 

WRONG

because when they get priced

TO PUT OUT

I'm supposed to be 

CHANGING the DATE

FOR EACH ONE

so it MATCHES the BOX

SO why not just price them individually 

WHEN they COME in

WELL you might have to scape it off

THIS system is 

AS FAR as I'm concerned 

SO BROKEN 

as to be 

ROTF laugh-crying

it's FUNCTIONAL value

is ZERO

and the explanation of the 

ARCANE importance

is SO GOOD 

that there are

OVER a YEAR LATER 

PROBABLY still PIECES 

that I STILL don't have

I used to make WHOEVER put the order away

ALPHABETIZE the coffee & syrup

& I always got PUSH BACK

BECAUSE 

I was all LIKE efficiency

AND they were like

TAKES LONGER 

& I'm LIKE 

YES, but

it takes longer to put AWAY 

when you have TIME 

when you are

NEEDING to FIND something 

it is FAST

THAT is when the TIME matters

YOU'RE NOT getting through

60-80 customers a half hour

if you're spending 45 seconds

LOOKING for sh*t 

EVERY time you need it

SO I'm not AGAINST 

SYSTEMS 

BUT 

FIDDLY 

not so much 

I'm starting with the fasting mimicking 

AGAIN 

I couldn't quite hack it

when it was colder

& I've been

unenthusiastic for hunger

BUT 

I've been focusing on 

getting the 150 chlorella a day

getting the cup of beans

or legumes

CHIA every morning 

recently ALSO 

C8-mct

SO

my HEALTHY macros

are UP

& if my understanding of metabolism 

and the fasting mimicking process

is accurate 

THEN I should get really good results 

from the contrasting

LOW protein fast/mim

BUT I'm further testing 

reducing the carbs

increasing the fat

C8- mct is gonna be the predominant fat

I'm gonna TRY not to eat the oatcakes

SO

COCOYO

TBS C8-mct

AVOCADO 

Hampton brine beet jalapeno

TBS C8-mct

TOMATO & cucumber salad

TBS C8-mct 

supplements 

ORLO dha

astaxanthin

cissus 

grape seed extract

lactobacillus gasseri

& my meno supplement 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 

I gotta go to bed 

it's RAINING 

there's thunder

I love to listen to the rain 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

❤️

AVOID the WATERMELON 🍉 

WHAT was the VARIANCE on the glasses

CHESSIE given a clean bill of health

ECLIPSE talk

he is FUNNY 

he just pushes my buttons SOMETIMES 

NO SANDS kid 

is getting a DIME

NIAGARA falls

LOOKED really HUGE 

I've never really 

gotten excited about it before 

these are good emails 

TIDE clock

{GRANDMA moment}

SO 

in back to school 

they're pretty young

SO - fiddly systems 

everything has to be divided 

into discount categories 

ADDED 

on a tape calculator/adding machine 

TOTALS circled + labeled

THEN that gets ADDED 

THEN

it gets run through the charging process

OR rung into the cash register 

MANY young people 

are all LIKE 

that's a weird LOOKING cash register 

about the ADDing machine 

I'm LIKE well YEAH it is

it's just a 

I can't remember which one I said 

I sorta think 

I tried BOTH 

I'm quite confident 

they have NEVER seen 

one before

OK, restarting 

ANALOG 

oh, hahaha that's all there was anyway 

BRACKETS 

David Aldridge + Nigel 

in my flat

NIGEL and his FLASHY indochinos

I kinda zoned out 

thinking about you 

I think coach would be

a pretty cool job

PRESSURE 

but cool

NICE discussion 

about CAITLIN & women's basketball 

HALLOWEEN+election day ENERGY 

the TRAUMA 

of the COWS 

TOTALITY

it's CRIMINAL 

to start a game THAT late

if you can keep the best three team

from scoring threes

it's like psychological warfare

am I

UNDERSTANDing

AND

the Beatles

in Germany reference

FEELS kinda

MAGIC doesn't it

it has not escaped my notice

that TK has some

of the SAME 

SORT of

FASCINATION 

DONNA left eclipse glasses for me

I was kinda touched

that she thought of me

there were these cool little pink shapes

in the corona

OH maybe he isn't fascinated 

I was surprised how fun to watch it was

I loved that song Bonnie Tyler 

we had clouds TOO 

you're NOT getting a car

RFK 1987

a DOZEN 

I don't think there are 80 million people 

in LONDON 

VERY EXCITING soccer

there are people making fun of you

in LONDON 

EVERYTHING 

TOTALLY BRILLIANT 

NICE call out from NASA!!!

I FORGOT to research 

transfer portal

I LIKE the word BESPOKE 

DB plays in WILBON 

the BRILLIANT Dan Bern 

THAT was a pretty

AGREEABLE 

WILBON

OK I had to stop the play

if she transfers to Indiana 

does that make her LOOK some kinda way

I'm NOT SURE how this works

I think it seems like 

she's going to the wmba because 

THIS is her shot

BUT it sounds like

THEY BOTH 

THINK 

that INDIANA thing

is her shot

THAT seems

RATHER compelling 

BUT if they know about it surely she does too

*sigh*

it probably DOESN'T 

go without saying 

BUT 

I'm NOT a multiple personalities person 

BUT 

I have ALWAYS been 

fascinated 

with the concept 

& we KNOW 

I have all those different 

perspectives in my HEAD 

leaving aside the

whole intuitive GUIDES thing

BUT 

I've NEVER thought 

that should be thought of in that way

I just f*CKing ASKED 

I've always thought 

at least MOST

of those cases involved SOME

level of hypnotic suggestion

I KNOW someone 

who has that diagnosis 

& I THINK 

man, I've NEVER seen anything 

that makes me believe 

she changes

AND

I have like a way that I AM 

when I'm doing certain things 

that is recognizable

BUT 

I don't THINK it's a different person 

it's JUST the way I AM 

THEN but it's ME 

ANYWAY 

he's like YEAH 

EVERY case I've ever consulted on

it was LIKE that 

heightened awareness 

in the presence of

BORDERLINE or psychosis 

of some sort 

AND

I talked about

the WEIRDness of the ways

I both DO

& DON'T 

CONNECT to my past

I SAID the degree to which my connection 

to my 80s self

made me THINK I must have

UNRESOLVED stuff

which I didn't think I did

ANYWAY 

not saying 

I SOLVED everything 

just saying I'm not crazy in a way one CAN be

AND

if I'm supposed to give 

a MESSAGE to the youngs

I have always 

LIKED em

BUT 

I don't know em nearly well enough 

SO

MAYBE 

I didn't get a bunch of the things done 

BUT 

I FEEL like 

I'm doing therapy 

😜