Of course none of this precludes the possibility that my olfactory hallucination is based in purely physical malfunction. I could have. There is a long list. However, I consider this to be much less likely, or, at least, a much less likely to be useful area of focus, because it's much more of a one point on a line situation. I could, sure, have a brain tumor, but is it likely? They don't run in my family, I'm not like low key worried about brain tumors, and, anyway, the only way to check for that is to run expensive tests or rather to have professionals run expensive tests. I'd rather wait until I have at least one more point on the line, and, honestly, probably two more points on the line, before I start making my next step: go to the doctor. I believe this to be logical and practical, but I'm not entirely certain that I should pat myself on the back because those attributes do not describe the true root cause. I have a distrust and aversion to doctors.
Had the list included something like: zinc deficiency; it is quite likely that I would have increased my intake of zinc rich foods, or, more likely ordered a supplement. Had the list included something like: excessive cheese consumption; I would have cut out cheese for a couple of weeks, and then decided that unexpected smells are part of the spice of life. Why deprive oneself of cheese?! I'm kind of kidding, but not really. I could have gone longer.
The point is: I focus on what I can test for on my own. Anything that will require a doctor becomes an only in case of emergency situation. I realize that this is far from mainstream, it is, however, grounded in my actual life experience. Let me try to explain.
I was sick a lot as a child. Strangely, I don't think of myself as a sickly person, but I was constantly in and out of the doctor's office in my early days. It began shortly after birth, I had jaundice. My mother was told I was allergic to her milk and needed to be switched to formula. I had high fevers for which my tiny body had to be iced, my grandmother told me. This was later confirmed when my permanent teeth came in with ridges I found horrifying and I asked the dentist "what could cause that", high fever in early childhood turned out to be the answer. I had allergies. I had weird crusty rashes in the tender curves of my ears which would split and bleed painfully for which I needed special prescription cream. I caught every cold that floated past the threshold of the house, and when my grandmother went into the hospital for her cataract surgery-- at, oh dear god, the age I am now-- they put me into day care and I got so sick it became some sort of family crisis.
After my father re-married, my step-mother was the one constantly taking me to the doctor. When the doctor would leave the room she would steal sample medicines from the drawer. If I pointed out to her that stealing was wrong, she would answer sharply that "we need to get something out of this", and though I always thought to myself something to the effect of "like getting me well, I wish you meant", I never really seemed to get much better.
I was not the only person I witnessed not getting better under doctoral care.
My mother's father kept going for the V.A. for pain. He had exploratory surgery. Then he had more pain. He had more surgeries. They ended up removing his colon; and his eye; and possibly some other things. He stopped complaining about pain. He just moaned all the time after that.
My father's sister had high blood pressure. I believe that was all she had. She ended up with drug-induced lupus from the prescription drugs. Then she had to have a hip replacement because the hip was destroyed by the corticosteroids they gave her for the lupus. Then she had an infection in her lung they couldn't clear so they removed part of her lung, and while she was in the hospital recovering from that she developed and enormous decubitus ulcer which had to be surgically reconstructed. And somewhere in all that, they accidentally cut her achilles tendon which was a long physical therapy recovery.
A friend's sister had migraines. They tested. They tried things. By the time they were through trying things she had been in a mental hospital twice because she wanted to cut herself open to let out the spiders. Her only previous psychological issue: anxiety and depression of a mild variety, easily managed with medication and never causing any life disruption when financial circumstances made therapy and medication impossible.
I would just as soon leave the doctors for other people.
