I didn't go in anywhere
But it's surprisingly hard for me to even make myself do that I am had an upset stomach
And after I go out and drive around I realize that it's fine it's not a problem to drive around
But it's still surprisingly hard to make myself do it
When I went to the mailbox today to get the mail the clouds were so beautiful they were very fluffy but somehow they looked painted you know they were very white on one side and then they were gray on the other side and they were fluffy and big and fairly evenly distributed through the sky it looked kind of surreal
For a while when I was leaving to drive I could just drive out the exit that's not really an exit that's right next to my apartment cuz I'm right next to the office and so there are gates where people come in but they have been just leaving them open during office hours
For months they've been doing that
But the gates were closed because there's a sign on the office we are closed they're not even they're not even going in
They have been I think the reason why they had the gate open is that they would just you know somebody would come in and they would call or whatever and then they would go and meet them and take them around in their little golf carts and and then they'd do the paperwork at two chairs and a table that they have kind of outside my apartment and everybody's all masked up and everything
And they are sometimes working in the office cuz when I had to go resign my lease that was a point at which the covid was pretty low so there were two of them in the office and one was on like one side and one was on the other side so and it was like a bin in the wall so I mean it was pretty socially distanced
But I was going to have to go to the regular exit and you have to enter a code on the keypad and I was really dreading that and I was looking around and I found like a piece of paper I could wrap around my finger so I could not have to touch the keypad but then one of the golf carts was leaving and I just let him get ahead of me so that the gate would open cuz he's got a clicker or something
And then when I came back in somebody was ahead of me so it opened and I didn't have to touch the keypad so that was great that worked out really great for me
But I had a little stretch of three or four days that I didn't drive the car and then I just drove it down to the grocery store and then it's been another three or four days so that was longer than I wanted to really let it go and I didn't well I mean I drove a fair amount but I'm not even sure that the amount you drive is all that relevant
Like when I was going to work I was only driving about 2 and 1/2 miles to work and then I would drive 2 and 1/2 miles back from work and that was the majority of the driving that I did
Every once in awhile I would drive less than 7 mi somewhere and back
When I was driving the car before I would drive it around for like an hour and then I would come home and then I wouldn't drive it again for like a week or two weeks or 3 weeks and that wasn't working
I don't think it's how far you drive it I think it's how frequently
So I'm probably going to make myself drive it again tomorrow just to get like a good solid baseline of driving
When I was a kid
I went to work with my aunt Joan a few times
And where she worked they had like a little kind of auto mat thing I think that's what they're called automats they had a machine that you could push a button and it rotated and they were all these little compartments maybe they were a couple of machines I think it was just one rotating machine and it had like you know hard boiled egg cottage cheese tuna sandwich cheese crackers peanut butter crackers some other kind of sandwich and maybe like a piece of fried chicken and a roll or something I mean it was like food prepared food that must have been brought in by somebody
And then there was you know one of those coffee machines where you push all the buttons you want coffee with cream and sugar plus plus plus on the cream or the sugar or whatever you know and it was hot chocolate on there too and probably tea as well every once in a while you still see one of those machines they were very common they had one in the library at u of h when I went to school there but I I don't know if they still make them
I think they had a soda machine dispensed ice and soda into a cup as well The kind of soda machine you see now where you put in money and it drops a can I'm not sure those were out yet I mean they were pretty soon after that I know they had those by the time I was in say third grade because we lived in an apartment complex that had a soda machine and they were a quarter it was very exciting but I don't believe I had ever seen one of those machines prior to that The kind of machines they had before that you put money in and you opened the little door and you pulled out your bottle of soda but I mean the sodas were all bottles until 75, 76 I'm not sure somewhere in there and maybe there were canned so does other places
And in fact the bottled sodas weren't in plastic bottles yet then either they were in glass bottles and you took them back and got your deposit I'm not clear on why we stopped doing that I mean I guess from the standpoint of you're not going to accidentally break your bottle or whatever maybe I'm wrong maybe there were cancer earlier
Anyway I was thinking about that and I was thinking about there used to be an old cigarette machine that some local art group had bought and maybe they bought a bunch of them I don't know and they put them in whole foods and maybe some other places but I only ever saw him in whole foods and so you could put money in and buy a little art thing that fit into I guess the size of a cigarette box and it would dispense like the cigarette machines remember cigarette machines
And then in Martha they have I haven't seen it because I didn't know it existed when I was there last so I don't know if it was in fact there and I just didn't know about it or if it's come about since then but it's some sort of a art supplies vending machine or maybe it's art supplies and weird things I don't know but for sure art supplies are one of the things I think the idea was since everything closes down really early they would make a vending machine with crazy s*** you might want in the middle of the night but couldn't get
And then I'm thinking about those vending machines that make the udon soup in Japan because now I'm thinking about vending machines
And I think there needs to be some sort of vending machine but like an auto mat like where you go in and there are all a bunch of vending machines but not food other things
Maybe things that couldn't really be dispensed by machines
Maybe they would be like the wizard of Oz where he gave hearts and brains and things but they weren't really that they were symbols
I don't know I haven't got it all worked out
When I was a kid I was fascinated by machines that you put money into and got things out of I was all about that apparently my aunt Joan had a very embarrassing situation where I wanted money to put in the tampon machine at some point
Because it didn't really matter what the machine was I wanted to put money in it and get a thing out of it
I had a dream I don't remember which day it was I had forgotten but it came back to me You were massaging the mole on some guys face like you were running your finger around it because it looked just like mine That's kind of weird
I also had this dream and it's really unclear it was very specific in the dream but I don't remember it clearly and I don't think that it was spelled out very clearly in the dream I think it's one of those things where it's all a bunch of symbols and it makes sense to you in the dream but then when you try to piece it back together it doesn't make sense but there was this necklace with these clay beads that were I don't know like ink and or Aztec or something and there was this little girl and they were somehow tied together although the necklace was very ancient and the little girl was not
I wish I could remember
I should have been gone to sleep
I love you very much sweetheart 💋
