in fact

I was all LIKE 

HOW far is RUDZ from 

ART SUPPLY*

*2.6 miles

maybe I can just WALK straight 

AFTER work on

MONDAY 

get my EXERCISE in

& THEN 

uber home

in reviewing THIS 

it SEEMS 

a little 

MANIC 

AND hey

I did say something about 

LIKING to be UP

TWENTY hours

it's like 

when you're playing SIMS 

& your sim just passes out in the street

speed zzzzzzing

for LIKE 

six seven hours 

before you

can WAKE em

I can't believe 

I am just

blasse blasse

gonna go to a bar

late at night

ALONE

I didn't think 

it's NOT normal for me

BUT 

THAT doesn't HAPPEN 

without YOU 

DRAGGING me BACK 

into the WORLD 

SO

THANK you 

bt dubs

APPS 

DUKE

people don't usually leave en masse*

*I feel confident in not looking that up

NIL $ directly to kids

NOT real schools

Greek or Latin 

NIGEL you F*CK

tinfoil

OMA?

AI WORKERS

VERY RUDE not impressed

federal FRITTER

HI JIM

TEN consecutive PALINDROME days

CARVEL

HATFIELDS & CAPULETS

childhood TRAUMA rumdum

the ARC of history BENDs toward OREGON

GRAND MARSHAL next year

THAT should get you

a good parking 

SPOT 

my neighbors are

VERY RARELY 

AUDIBLE 

right now they are possibly apoplectic 

SPORTS*

*I'm guessing 

SORRY I'm having TROUBLE 

starting again

I haven't 

FINISHED thinking 

I had this experience 

with POPCORN 

my BRAIN is 

TRYING 

REALLY hard to CONNECT it to SOMETHING else

DO NOT 

try to tempt yourself 

with HEALTHY 

treats

you will just eat the thing you WANT 

in the end

MANAGE the DAMAGE 

SIX FIVE & eighty

CAITLIN CLARK 

GOLFwise

astros

ALTUVE*

*need to check the highlights reel

AGAIN with the SWEATER dilemma

I FEEL more positively

ABOUT WILBON 

today

BUT 

I can IN NOW WAY

explain that

BDZ!!!

NELLY KORDA

I zoned out a little 

I'm going to back up

they are in a VIBE

OK

THAT was 

REALLY nice

I feel like

I just saw the 

SQUISHY center

but

NOW I'm getting marshmallow malomar

americana goodness

it is ALMOST impossible 

NOT to feel slightly 

ENDEARed

to them

I can SEE 

RANDOM interval being

the STRONGEST*

WHY you'd 

put up with the BICKER

*form of conditioning 

OK

fixin to listen to TK

BUT 

I just keep remembering seeing 

bill hicks 

I didn't go to SEE him

I was just at the comedy workshop 

Charlotte and I 

THAT was a thing 

that we did

I think we had gone

to see improv

I didn't know who he was

he wasn't famous 

BUT 

this was the place

SAM kineson 

CRUCIFIED himself 

at the convenience store 

ACROSS the street

SO I MEAN 

MAYBE he wasn't scheduled 

ALL I KNOW 

I can't stop thinking about it 

I watched a lot of comedy 

GROWING up 

BUT 

he did this THING I couldn't remember 

EVER being AWARE of before 

HE MADE a CIRCLE 

he started off

HERE and then he

WALKED you THROUGH 

an ADVENTURE in his WORLD

and then he brought 

you

PERHAPS safely 

on HOME*

it's one of the high points 

BUT it was a

complete COINCIDENCE 

*he ended on the same line, I'm not even saying it was a good line exactly, it was then, maybe, the important thing was how it functioned it was genius the actual line was: I think of myself as more of a hate stylist

I think I feel you

is something 

EXCITING 

going on 

OR

am I just

WEIRD 

GOOD morning sweetheart 

I'm at art supply today 

SO TK won't be until 

TONIGHT 

I LOVE you VERY much 

I hope you're having a beautiful day 

❤️

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

🫶

I didn't mean to 

SKIP saying goodnight 

ALSO 

I FEEL like 

you don't FEEL 

I'm not sure how to put it

PRAISED enough 

RECOGNIZED 

by me

BABY 

YOU are GREAT 

you are a f*CKing FREIGHT TRAIN of

TALENT

and HEART

& I'm sorry if 

I didn't give you

what you need from me

I did try to warn you

BUT 

if you have some question

about my BELIEF in you

PLEASE KNOW 

YOU'VE GOT the STUFF 

PRIME 

I'm NOT the one most qualified 

to tell you that

BUT 

I DO BELIEVE it 

with all my HEART

I was explaining to my therapist 

my problem*

*with regard to deciding what I want to be when I grow up**

**in my phraseology I see another problem 

I never had one thing that was a BURNING desire 

I have a lot of things 

I enjoy to do

BUT 

when you play it OUT 

there are THINGS 

that makes it

not worth it

& without the BURNing

ya know

the stuff that makes it make money

ruins it for me

so I took jobs

BUT 

if I'm doing it

I will make THAT the thing

WHAT 

I'm doing NEEDS to be 

A THING ya know

& he's like 

BURNING is too high a standard

WHAT 

do you 

WANT 

to do

WELL so I thought ABOUT it 

coming from a

DIFFERENT 

angle

I've NEVER thought about it 

THIS way

and I'm a little nervous to tell you

I asked myself 

well

WHAT

would you MOST LIKE to 

TELL someone 

you were

&

like RIGHT AWAY 

I come back

COMEDIAN 

& then

I'm all LIKE yeah

THEY are the 

SHAMANIC messengers

YEAH let's NOT get AHEAD of ourselves 

YOU been telling yourself 

SOME BIG story

ABOUT how

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS 

ANYTHING you have to say

HOW you HATE 

having to EXPLAIN 

your ART

NOW 

you want to GET UP in front of 

PEOPLE 

SAY some sh*t

& POTENTIALLY get heckled

SURPRISINGLY 

it still SEEMED to be 

something I WANTED to do 

SO

I've decided 

I have to do it

MAYBE 

it will 

be

the thing is

this whole time 

I've been working on a variety of things 

BUT 

I've been coming at

LIKE 

what do you want your life to be LIKE 

let's build AROUND THAT

& MAYBE 

comedian fits THAT too

MAYBE 

I've performed FUNNY 

BUT not

LIKE THAT 

& it is

POSSIBLE 

that this is CRAZY 

BUT 

I'm SURE first time on an open mic

will be late and sparce

I have STUFF going on 

in my BRAIN 

a lot of 

STUFF 

BUT 

NONE of it is ready to talk yet

I LOVE YOU 

👾🫚

I'm going to try

SOMETHING 

I'm a little nervous about 

I HAVE thought about it 

& I'm PRETTY sure 

I've talked about it before 

there are MORE opportunities 

than I THOUGHT 

I need six minutes 

of material 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚❤️💌🫦

OKLAHOMA 

❤️❤️❤️

I get the show through audible 

EXTRA LARGE chocolate guy

RUSTICO

SWEATing

COURTNEY courtney courtney 

BUG zapper 

connective tissue

HOCKEY is a VERY 

LUCK driven

SPORT

NO AGAIN 

we TALKED about this 

EARLIER 

WINNIPEG 

Florida, Carolina 

I don't know anything either 

but you don't know that

did he say

on the backs of javalinas 

TURNSTILE COUNT

TAYLOR how do you feel about basketball 

I don't know anything about hockey

just give me a pass

WHY

are we TALKING about hockey

NBA's 

number ONE concern

QUANTITY 

what makes it COMBUSTIBLE 

CHEDDAR BISCUIT

OK

I'm gonna make another pu erh

& listen to TK 

❤️

my mom wanted to go to galleries

I WANT this 

I mean I'm not getting it 

obviously 

BUT 

LOOK at it 

it's AMAZING 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚❤️💌

they're ARRESTING protestors 

I read al Jazeera 

I'm not SURE WHY

I think 

I thought they would be

overcompensatingly FACT heavy

does that MAKE sense 

OR

does it JUST 

sound CRAZY

OK

I have a lot of STUFF on my MIND 

I was trying to decompress 

& also kinda rein it in

trump is trying to PROVOKE 

he WANTS them to put him in JAIL for

ANYTHING what does it 

MATTER 

they MIGHT be gonna form

a COALITION 

to SHUT OUT the 

FIRESTARTERs

I don't even know what's going on at Columbia 

I was missing 

listening to the 

TK show

SO 

MAGICALLY 

I got an ad for butcher box

who has no current code

BUT 

will give you a bag of sock eye

every month for a YEAR

& has

TURKEY bacon

& bison

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚❤️💌🫦

JUST as WET

BROWN BONNET 

ep307

GONG SHOW 

I forgot the gong show

YES YES of course 

I loved SCTV 

GAUNTLET 

it stands where THAT SUGGESTS Tony

I KNOW that's really cynical

and that it MIGHT NOT 

be grounded 

in FACT 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I THINK this would be

an interesting 

year to

SEE

the OLYMPICS 

MAJOR IMPACT PLAYER 

there were I think at least two times 

my aunt joan listened

to basketball 

out 

at a restaurant 

with me

earplug connected to transister radio

NEVER 

SAID 

anything ABOUT basketball 

WIND CAUTION 

BREAK CITY 

guy in the front laughing

identity a LEAD car

TK is like double dog daring CC not to choke

she now carries the honour

of ALL womynknd

not code, funny cat story, going to listen to TK now

my cat wants to go out

& I don't let him

at night

BUT 

there's a new cat in the neighborhood 

who would probably bite him

in the ass as he runs away 

WHICH 

is contrary to my 

kitty we are at a loggerheads

I say

not SURE whether I 

MEANT to say it

WRONG then

UNSURE 

whether 

SO

much

did I fancy

the contraction

we find ourselves at

a point of loggerheads

he STOLE my CHAIR

❤️❤️❤️

I had a bad headache 

after therapy 

and the after therapy 

errands 

I lay down 

I just woke up

I was still in my clothes 

I didn't expect to fall asleep 

I didn't know 

what I wanted to say 

because I was thinking

about racket

and wasn't sure what I thought 

I gotta work at art supply 

I gotta get up at five thirty 

& I didn't set an alarm

I still don't feel good 

I gotta go back to sleep 

or I'm screwed

BUT 

I didn't want you to think 

I just skipped 

TALKing

well I DID skip talking 

I guess

I didn't skip thinking about you 

I LOVE you VERY much 

BUT 

I'm somewhat still puzzling out

& I didn't feel like 

talking about therapy 

SORRY I didn't mean to flake

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

🤠 I can't find an emoji for headache

👾🫚❤️💌

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚💌

the CHIN too

I should not leave that out

it's GOOD and

MAYBE more importantly 

the CHIN is SATISFYING 

as are also

the EARS

which are COMPLETELY satisfying 

the left ear

lives in REALITY 

but

the RIGHT EAR takes on a TRANSCENDENT 

ESCHER abstraction

which draws the eye THROUGH & AROUND 

it's one of those THINGS 

where it's LIKE oh that's not quite RIGHT 

but THEN it is the 

ENGINE 

of the FLOW

I have a lot of 

FEELS 

about THAT one

that kinda 🪸 🪸 color

is one I REALLY like

the lettering

the jauntiness & movement 

the way it KINDA 

rises and submerges

through the surface

is KINDA sexy*

*is that weird

the use of COLOR in

the FLESH

all the pink with

green shadows

the FEATURES of the FACE

the lips

the DEEP EYES

BEAUTIFUL 

WILBON 

SEMI-trash talking

TIGER at the same time

as semiPRAISEing him

WHY was COURTNEY 

the hottest girl in highschool 

ASKed EVERY girl

he still has contact with from highschool 

SCOTTY 

MIGHT just be HOT

COOKIE is FIRED UP

TAXMAN mailbag

those four hotels in the path are gonna fill up fast

GATSBY

PANTONE 342

MAYBE 

THAT chipotle is

LIKE money laundrying

PTI-TK green rolls

SPOOKYnook

THE MAN I'M RELATED to by BIRTH

see those Z's

THEY 

WANT to equalize

the Zs give me HOPE largely

TK golfed in the MASTERS

the WEATHER was not good

he played well

& he was HAPPY 

I could never keep

BOGIE 

EAGLE 

that stuff 

LIKE in my HEAD 

I took golf & bowling for my p.e. in UH

I WANTED to take 

weight training and billiards

BUT I couldn't 

make the scheduling work

& I figured 

my paw paw was semi-pro

SURELY I had some genetic skill

BUT it was NOT apparent 

I did win

MOST IMPROVED in bowling

BUT I wasn't GOOD 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

❤️

I'm trying to get the angle

of that highschool 

picture

& I can't smile

with my eyes open

anymore 

apparently 

here's a smile 

this one looks like I'm fixin to get in some trouble 

I need a haircut 

the length isn't the problem 

it's just all

WONKY 

I can't decide 

that I like these

they may not stay

I LOVE you 

& MAYBE it would be 

BETTER if

I was all FANCY about it

I was all impressed about the 10 

I was trying to give

ROYAL JELLY 

but

I THINK 

THAT maybe didn't 

work out so WELL 

I really do THINK ABOUT you 

all the TIME 

& STUFF 

❤️

I'm NOT REALLY

QUALIFIED 

to give you ANY 

ADVICE 

I can 

ONLY 

tell you what I WISH 

SOMEONE 

had done for me

HELP in ways that ACTUALLY help

NOT ways

that just make you feel good

WOW 

that was enough of a downer

I think I'll stop THERE 

It's SOLID ADVICE tho

& the mental exercise to figure out

what's ACTUALLY helpful 

IF you do it RIGHT 

SHOULD 

PRETTY MUCH 

cover anything else

I'm not asleep yet

you are the person 

I carry around with me

in my HEART 

YOU are 

SO MANY things

& I have a VERY active 

IMAGINATION 

it makes me

SAD

to think MAYBE I should be 

EDITING 

AND really 

I JUST am who I AM 

ya know

BUT 

I'm pretty sure 

that's what I got going for me 

AND really 

if it's NOT then I don't KNOW what 

I want peanut butter 

I'm not even really hungry 

I REALLY hope

I'm OVER REACTING 

ANYWAY 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚💌

I just got this FLASH 

you UNDERSTAND that

I'm saying 

THAT

was a ROMANTIC CONSTRUCTION 

& the TREASURED

MOMENT 

quality the POETRY, right

YOU aren't LIKE 

FOCUSING 

on whether every part of it paints you in A WAY

RIGHT 

because it just occurred to me 

I might be a bitch again 

I'm NOT 

& I WILL NOT be 

I MAYBE am just trying 

to get the image

of

the "peace" candidate OUT of my HEAD

MAN

THAT analysis 

this whole thing//possible implications 

has KINDA spiked my ANXIETY 

I don't know 

I THINK it's at least LIKELY 

that they DID know

the stuff WOULDN'T 

get through 

because they have a FUTURE WAR

they're trying to TRAIN for

MAYBE 

I don't know what I'm talking about 

I'm NO expert 

on any of that SO YES I absolutely 

DO NOT know what I'm talking about 

it just SEEMS to me

OH MAN

do NOT play the SIRENS 

WHAT 

do you THINK 

iran is hoping to 

PROVOKE 

it SEEMS obvious 

to ME 

they are NOT 

JUST 

responding 

BUT the WAY they're 

going ABOUT it

I WONDER 

if they are trying for SOMETHING 

SPECIFIC like 

from 

the US

I'm NOT sure 

EXACTLY what I'm talking about 

I mean they are FLEXING 

for sure

BUT 

they MAY be trying 

to draw Biden into something 

trump will leave them ALONE 

I'm just watching the news

CNN

I thought wolf was old in the first gulf war

because he had gray hair 

BUT 

he must been in his thirties

not all the disparate things

relate to each other

if that makes sense 

I am mostly impressed 

THAT 

she did this sort of 

GROWN UP

THING

but she has obvious performance ability 

when I've heard her 

play and sing

which I'm not sure if that applies

HERE 

I think she has

a distinct VOICE 

BUT at first 

it didn't seem like she was seeking

the right whatever for her voice

& THAT has resolved 

THEN

she was obviously 

FOCUSED on the playing component 

which made SENSE 

THIS is just GOOD 

NOT like

GOOD for blah blah

JUST an integral part of the WHOLE 

BUT STRONG, ya know

BUT 

when I say

I'm impressed 

I MORE mean 

THAT she did it EVEN 

if I understand the struggles of this COHORT 

THIS kind of ability to

FIND the work or whatever 

is so much more

COMPLICATED 

in some WAYS 

more diffuse, possibly more opportunities 

BUT not without 

GUMPTION 

I'm impressed with 

what I assume to be

parental help and support 

ALTHOUGH 

perhaps not, perhaps it's just her

I think she's gonna be FINE 

& if she's able to do 

WHAT she wants

I mean 

THAT'S the goal, right 

SEEMS like

this is proof of LIKE 

finding a WAY 

I'm pretty impressed 

I gotta go to bed 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight 🫦💌👾🫚

I used to

have a lot more

OR MAYBE 

I didn't 

it's 

EMOTIONALLY and

there are BITS 

that REFLECT, ya know

I've sung this SONG to you BEFORE 

BUT it sort of HAPPENED 

AGAIN 

but not or different 

ANYWAY 

the layering of the THINGS 

THEN & then & then

and NOW 

🍊

YEAH

I've been listening 

&

if I only had ONE Tori Amos 

it would HAVE 

to be THIS one

JUST 

it is the SOUNDTRACK 

of my CORE

LOVE 

mythos

on the plane

to the place

I read the WAY of the BEE

&

on the ROAD there

I listened to 

DISC 1 of VENUS & back

AND 

it's REALLY gotta be

the whole disc one

which I started to say

SIDE one

ONCE and future speak 

BUT 

what ALWAYS comes to me FIRST 

JOSEPHINE and it

MEANT so much to me

in SUCH a poetic WAY 

I SAW

NAPOLEON recently 

I was listening to the REVOLUTIONARY podcast

that film was so

SURREAL 

& it fit that song so well

SO then

it was EVEN MORE surreal

the layering of ALL those things

so it was all ABOUT 

YOU 

SOMEHOW 

I was VERY busy

learning things 

while I was avoiding 

doing my taxes

NOW 

I can't concentrate well enough 

SO

I'm mostly 

thinking about 

how adorable you are

I've decided I miss baseball the way I used to

follow a team

I don't know what this says about me

BUT I'm a national league girl

DESPITE the fact 

that that Red Sox game

with the Frankenstein-ed ankle

where I was up till two or three

makes my highlights reel

I don't like the DH 

which I guess they ALL do now

but there's all that

fouling back

and they aren't the teams 

I'm USED to seeing 

SO

I mean the Astros 

are like a triple NOPE*

*at least

I decided I don't necessarily need 

A TEAM 

I could just FOLLOW baseball 

I may do that mlb.com thing again

I really enjoy there

PITCH thing-y

especially if it's in combination 

with radio

BUT we'll see 

what I tried and really liked 

watch YouTube MLB

daily highlights 

watch game highlights 

of the interesting ones

BIGGER picture 

MAN

I WANT peanut butter 

I'm not SURE 

I might not be getting 

AUTOPHAGY 

I can usually tell 

the loose skin on my neck

TIGHTENS

I'm not sure at EXACTLY what point 

it's end of day three now

WELL 

I got a bunch of twos

5,7,5,7,ruin

another 10

& King of cups & pentacles

& the lovers

& Ace of Cups

SO

I'mma go with

I need to not get spoiled on

SOMETHING 

pretty AMAZING 

OK

I've got

too late for goodbyes

in my HEAD 

does that mean

you're FREAKED out 

& want away from me

OR

SOMETHING else

THIS is 

FOCUS on you

even if it doesn't seem like it 

I gotta SPEAK sports 

I get baseball 

pretty well

I get football SOME 

BASKETBALL 

I understand that it's about

ENERGY 

BUT 

THAT is pretty much it

I've been interested 

for a while 

BUT 

it's NOT gonna learn itself 

I HOPE 

we good 

GOOD morning sweetheart 

I LOVE you 

VERY much 

🤠👾🫚

🍪🍪🍪

that picture of me 

that reminds me 

of Napoleon Dynamite 

it was my aunt joan's favorite 

of all my highschool pictures 

I sorta think 

for the same reason 

I guess 

I look pretty and normal 

SO

probably it doesn't actually LOOK LIKE 

what I THINK it looks like

CRAP 

it got LATE 

I'm down a rabbit hole

BUT 

I'm trying to UNDERSTAND 

BASKETBALL 

I gotta go to sleep though 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

I used to do this 

FIVE DAY diet

when I was growing up 

starting at maybe eleven

I got it

from my aunt joan 

it was supposed to be 

FOOD COMBINING

I regularly lost

ten pounds 

in five days

idk

if it was food combining or not 

it was pretty low calorie 

BUT not that low

I remember the breakfast 

THAT was the same 

EVERY day

COFFEE or tea black

one EGG no oil or butter

one slice DRY wheat TOAST

HALF a grapefruit 

LUNCH and DINNER 

I KNOW there was a dinner 

LAMB CHOP & asparagus 

I'm PRETTY sure 

there was a tuna salad

NO MAYO 

I LIKED the breakfast 

the other meals

were mostly 

LIKE 3-4oz of meat with veg of SOME sort

it was not a lot of food

BUT 

it was manageable 

ya know

SO

when I FIRST read about

FAST/mim

it just sorta resonated

AND

it's NOT a lot of calories 

& it's not real conducive to work

it's MORE like a cleanse*

three is the perfect number of days

for a cleanse

*except their system is not in the slightest bit cleansing it is designed to be the correct ratio of macros but it's very processed

I'm testing different THINGS 

I still WANT to get the autophagy 

BUT 

what CAN I do

HOW CAN I combine things

I'm TESTING 

I've read I don't remember 

exactly how many things

less than that makes it sound like

& watched a fair few videos about

AUTOPHAGY 

blah blah protein mTOR

I can't find ANYTHING about

FAT limitations 

CALORIES yes

BUT 

what ABOUT 

NUTRIENTS

if you boost NUTRIENTS 

you can perform BETTER 

on FEWER calories 

like the vega system

EXCEPT 

like the opposite 

I was on a schedule 

two five days cycles a month

ten, five, ten, five, ten, five

BUT 

then I took six weeks off 

for the end of the year

got SICK

blah blah COLD 

PROBIOTICS 

sprouts

tweaking th

e percentages 

I guess it's hard to listen to

BUT I AM

SUPER into THIS 

& I like watching videos 

where other people do experiments

THAT Keltie O'Connor or something like that 

she was a basketball player 

MAYBE professional 

BUT 

I sorta think at least mostly college 

hang on

YEAH Canadian college basketball 

figures she'd be Canadian 

I seem to gravitate 

ANYWAY 

I'm just babbling now

This reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite 

it's junior year of highschool I'm pretty sure 

this is me and Gigi 

these I had just never seen before 

I've never seen that one with me and Gigi either 

BUT 

I thought they were cute

I'm modifying breakfast 

I feel a need for more fiber

& I missed the chia

BUT 

I don't want to raise 

protein and carbs too much

SO

I made the chia

with only two TBS of chia

and slightly more than half

a COCOYO 

I gotta go to bed 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

MAN

NOT ONLY do I want broc shot

I WANT that BRODO bad

I have wanted to try it

ever since 

I was READING about it 

YEARS ago 

NOW 

you can have it delivered 

I feel some KINDA way 

BUT 

I'm not REALLY sure 

WHAT way

ya know

I have not 

DEMONSTRATED a pattern

of bone broth

CONSUMPTION 

& it's NOT 

CHEAP 

I AM 

so far TALKING myself 

OUT of it 

but there's a sort of wake and sway

the broc shot

is not entirely convincing 

it's DRIED sprouts

MAYBE it can maintain enzymes 

or maybe it is WORTH talking 

despite lacking 

LIVE food-ness

I would RATHER just drink a shot

than have to deal with boxes of sprouts 

I like the SIMPLICITY of it 

BUT 

I am not convinced COMPLETELY 

BONES is out

TIGER

the RUST you can SHAKE 

FEVER 

prep freak

LIV pressure

blaring music, shorts, shotgun start

BURN it DOWN?

ANGRY HATT?

ep12

CHOXY games

I always thought I saw them

CAITLIN CLARK 

TIMEing is EVERYTHING 

the CAITLIN CLARK effect

the INMATES are running the ASYLUM 

down at the CHIPOTLE 

I love how people REACT 

when they SEE me

NL Central

PIRATES

ELLY Della Cruz 

OHTANI 

the Yankees are iffy

PITCHERS are 

DROPPING like flies

YEAH

you were more specifically RIGHT 

than I woulda thought 

ABOUT 

tommy John's

that made me THINK 

of debbie telling me 

in algebra class

number whatever it was

was wrong 

and then I had a big MORAL debate

with myself

about 

whether I was allowed 

to even check it

ms zeitoun was always like

you can not ALL sit next to elizabeth 

I had forgotten about that 

🤠

SO 

WOW 

there's ANOTHER TK

OK

I modified the menu 

I forgot 

I bought cilantro micro greens

so I had tomato+cmg

with 2TBS C8-mct 

+a small handful of 

GOLDEN berries 

the mct oil is fairly satiating

OK

TK

I just took a HOT

SHOWER 

because I was having 

COLD FLASHES 

really bad

I think fast/mim triggers 

the temperature disregulation

& that's WHY 

the COLD 

was SUPER bad for fast/mim

ANYWAY 

while I was in the shower 

two more departments chimed in

TITS & ASS from chorus line 

in my HEAD 

&

68% chance there's a viable

DIET something 

at the end of this

SO

anyhoo 

🫶

I think

BACH is my guides

teasing me

like oooooo cute little 

BEAUTIFUL mind

OR

LIKE when I was doing the WINE

at FIRST there was a budget

BUT 

when the company started doing WORSE 

they switched to 

HERE'S a few thousand dollars 

MAYBE you'll get more

MAYBE NOT 

BUT 

DON'T order less than these quantities 

in the "AUTOMATED" order program

SO ORDER them in the program 

BUT delete them

AFTER the order is created 

BECAUSE 

LIKE I NEVER could quite get 

my manager to SEE

we NEVER sell more than six of THAT HERE

THOSE levels are based on 

NATIONAL 

if I order THAT

I can't afford sh*t we WILL SELL 

AND I'm showing him

REPORTS

BUT he still doesn't GET it

OR

at the coffee place

I'm explaining how the NEW

STREAMLINE-ing system

HAS LOWERED my 

PROFIT percentage

from 30

to 15

& so MAYBE 

should be reviewed

AND

he's like

WHY are you LOOKING 

at PROFIT 

we don't BONUS

on PROFIT 

???!!!

AND 

whereas

I was always like

if you can think of a better way

TELL me 

& if it's something we can do 

we'll do it

& if it's something we can't 

I'll EXPLAIN 

WHY we can't 

or why it's NOT really BETTER 

THEY are resistant 

to CHANGE 

of ANY sort

LIKE 

I probably would have tried to SET UP the RACKS 

so they could just be STOCKED 

from the BACK 

BUT 

you would have less work

& more accuracy

if you JUST 

PRICED everything when it came in

PUT it in the RACK 

easily in front when you NEED it

THEN REVERSE the order

when you change the stickers

for things that sell slower

PUT a DOT on the tag

when you change the price each year

DECIDE the number of years

you feel good about 

when you get THAT number of dots

CLEARANCE it at COST

OR donate it 

OR put it in a grab bag

it's NOT food

& they don't EXPIRE 

BUT if it's SUPER critical 

you could put a date tag

separate from price

BUT that's EXTRA

in my opinion 

OH

and the "register" fiddly system

isn't even the FUNNY one

the TUBES of Golden acrylics 

they HAVE to be put

in the RACKS

in FIFO*

* first in first out which is pretty standard 

HOWEVER 

this means that

ANY time you restock them

EVERY tube of paint has to be pulled

OUT 

and set on the little ledge

in a way

that you'll remember 

to put them BACK

in the RIGHT order

NOW I get this

BUT it is not as easy to accomplish 

if there are customers 

or ANYTHING going on

the extra like BACK STOCK paint

has to be alphabetical underneath

& I fully support 

the alphabetical thing 

because otherwise it's hard to find 

when you need it

BUT 

they want the date and price

ON THE BOX

NOT on the individual TUBES 

which MEANS 

they HAVE to be priced when they are PUT OUT 

which TEDIOUS-es the process up nicely 

BUT WAIT 

EVERY TUBE

has the price sticker

SCRAPED OFF

EVERY YEAR

& re-stickered when the PRICE changes

SO

there is NO WAY 

to actually tell

HOW old

the paint is

&

APPARENTLY I've been doing it 

WRONG

because when they get priced

TO PUT OUT

I'm supposed to be 

CHANGING the DATE

FOR EACH ONE

so it MATCHES the BOX

SO why not just price them individually 

WHEN they COME in

WELL you might have to scape it off

THIS system is 

AS FAR as I'm concerned 

SO BROKEN 

as to be 

ROTF laugh-crying

it's FUNCTIONAL value

is ZERO

and the explanation of the 

ARCANE importance

is SO GOOD 

that there are

OVER a YEAR LATER 

PROBABLY still PIECES 

that I STILL don't have

I used to make WHOEVER put the order away

ALPHABETIZE the coffee & syrup

& I always got PUSH BACK

BECAUSE 

I was all LIKE efficiency

AND they were like

TAKES LONGER 

& I'm LIKE 

YES, but

it takes longer to put AWAY 

when you have TIME 

when you are

NEEDING to FIND something 

it is FAST

THAT is when the TIME matters

YOU'RE NOT getting through

60-80 customers a half hour

if you're spending 45 seconds

LOOKING for sh*t 

EVERY time you need it

SO I'm not AGAINST 

SYSTEMS 

BUT 

FIDDLY 

not so much 

I'm starting with the fasting mimicking 

AGAIN 

I couldn't quite hack it

when it was colder

& I've been

unenthusiastic for hunger

BUT 

I've been focusing on 

getting the 150 chlorella a day

getting the cup of beans

or legumes

CHIA every morning 

recently ALSO 

C8-mct

SO

my HEALTHY macros

are UP

& if my understanding of metabolism 

and the fasting mimicking process

is accurate 

THEN I should get really good results 

from the contrasting

LOW protein fast/mim

BUT I'm further testing 

reducing the carbs

increasing the fat

C8- mct is gonna be the predominant fat

I'm gonna TRY not to eat the oatcakes

SO

COCOYO

TBS C8-mct

AVOCADO 

Hampton brine beet jalapeno

TBS C8-mct

TOMATO & cucumber salad

TBS C8-mct 

supplements 

ORLO dha

astaxanthin

cissus 

grape seed extract

lactobacillus gasseri

& my meno supplement 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 

I gotta go to bed 

it's RAINING 

there's thunder

I love to listen to the rain 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

❤️

AVOID the WATERMELON 🍉 

WHAT was the VARIANCE on the glasses

CHESSIE given a clean bill of health

ECLIPSE talk

he is FUNNY 

he just pushes my buttons SOMETIMES 

NO SANDS kid 

is getting a DIME

NIAGARA falls

LOOKED really HUGE 

I've never really 

gotten excited about it before 

these are good emails 

TIDE clock

{GRANDMA moment}

SO 

in back to school 

they're pretty young

SO - fiddly systems 

everything has to be divided 

into discount categories 

ADDED 

on a tape calculator/adding machine 

TOTALS circled + labeled

THEN that gets ADDED 

THEN

it gets run through the charging process

OR rung into the cash register 

MANY young people 

are all LIKE 

that's a weird LOOKING cash register 

about the ADDing machine 

I'm LIKE well YEAH it is

it's just a 

I can't remember which one I said 

I sorta think 

I tried BOTH 

I'm quite confident 

they have NEVER seen 

one before

OK, restarting 

ANALOG 

oh, hahaha that's all there was anyway 

BRACKETS 

David Aldridge + Nigel 

in my flat

NIGEL and his FLASHY indochinos

I kinda zoned out 

thinking about you 

I think coach would be

a pretty cool job

PRESSURE 

but cool

NICE discussion 

about CAITLIN & women's basketball 

HALLOWEEN+election day ENERGY 

the TRAUMA 

of the COWS 

TOTALITY

it's CRIMINAL 

to start a game THAT late

if you can keep the best three team

from scoring threes

it's like psychological warfare

am I

UNDERSTANDing

AND

the Beatles

in Germany reference

FEELS kinda

MAGIC doesn't it

it has not escaped my notice

that TK has some

of the SAME 

SORT of

FASCINATION 

DONNA left eclipse glasses for me

I was kinda touched

that she thought of me

there were these cool little pink shapes

in the corona

OH maybe he isn't fascinated 

I was surprised how fun to watch it was

I loved that song Bonnie Tyler 

we had clouds TOO 

you're NOT getting a car

RFK 1987

a DOZEN 

I don't think there are 80 million people 

in LONDON 

VERY EXCITING soccer

there are people making fun of you

in LONDON 

EVERYTHING 

TOTALLY BRILLIANT 

NICE call out from NASA!!!

I FORGOT to research 

transfer portal

I LIKE the word BESPOKE 

DB plays in WILBON 

the BRILLIANT Dan Bern 

THAT was a pretty

AGREEABLE 

WILBON

OK I had to stop the play

if she transfers to Indiana 

does that make her LOOK some kinda way

I'm NOT SURE how this works

I think it seems like 

she's going to the wmba because 

THIS is her shot

BUT it sounds like

THEY BOTH 

THINK 

that INDIANA thing

is her shot

THAT seems

RATHER compelling 

BUT if they know about it surely she does too

*sigh*

it probably DOESN'T 

go without saying 

BUT 

I'm NOT a multiple personalities person 

BUT 

I have ALWAYS been 

fascinated 

with the concept 

& we KNOW 

I have all those different 

perspectives in my HEAD 

leaving aside the

whole intuitive GUIDES thing

BUT 

I've NEVER thought 

that should be thought of in that way

I just f*CKing ASKED 

I've always thought 

at least MOST

of those cases involved SOME

level of hypnotic suggestion

I KNOW someone 

who has that diagnosis 

& I THINK 

man, I've NEVER seen anything 

that makes me believe 

she changes

AND

I have like a way that I AM 

when I'm doing certain things 

that is recognizable

BUT 

I don't THINK it's a different person 

it's JUST the way I AM 

THEN but it's ME 

ANYWAY 

he's like YEAH 

EVERY case I've ever consulted on

it was LIKE that 

heightened awareness 

in the presence of

BORDERLINE or psychosis 

of some sort 

AND

I talked about

the WEIRDness of the ways

I both DO

& DON'T 

CONNECT to my past

I SAID the degree to which my connection 

to my 80s self

made me THINK I must have

UNRESOLVED stuff

which I didn't think I did

ANYWAY 

not saying 

I SOLVED everything 

just saying I'm not crazy in a way one CAN be

AND

if I'm supposed to give 

a MESSAGE to the youngs

I have always 

LIKED em

BUT 

I don't know em nearly well enough 

SO

MAYBE 

I didn't get a bunch of the things done 

BUT 

I FEEL like 

I'm doing therapy 

😜

SO

I've just been

THINKING about that 

& it all SOUNDS 

VERY

DIFFERENT 

I am seeing it ANOTHER way 

I have ALWAYS had 

a delimma

when I am doing SOMETHING 

OK the UPshot, I THINK 

I THINK I am developing 

whatever it is

BUT 

it's not quite cooked 

& I'm possibly 

just full of sh*t anyway, ya know

I don't want to try

to MAKE this be SOMETHING 

& by this

I mean THIS 

BUT 

I STILL think I AM

SOMETHING 

I'm

NOT MEANING to say THAT 

I don't know that I'm suited

to working with children

I feel like

I would be likely to go

native

side with them against their parents

BUT 

he's billing it as

don't work much

make big $

have TIME for 

all the stuff I'm developing 

& that is what I'm looking for 

SO idk

I talked about

my youths

in therapy 

I feel like I had one in the 80s

& another one in the 90s

AND

my thoughts and feelings 

about multiple personalities 

which turn out

to be the same as my therapist's

that it mostly isn't 

what it's represented to be

AND

how I feel like I'm still stuck 

& I didn't really think 

I was gonna live this long

I thought I was gonna get blown up

STUFF and blah blah

POLYMATH 

skipping steps in the thought process 

I don't really think

I have a niche skill that the world needs

AND

he's like OUCH

and I'm like NO not ouch just

I don't think my perspective is like

understandable largely

he's like ego wound

I'm like NO ego wound

just think I'm not generally understandable 

SO

gifted and talented tutor 

is his idea this time

&

idk

MAYBE 

I am worried that 

I might not 

UNDERSTAND some nuance

I was in NO trying to be a BITCH

I wasn't making

COMENTARY

about you or your kid or ANYTHING else 

I was using the IDEA

in a NEW way for me

YOU have your STUFF 

I have STUFF too

BUT it's DIFFERENT stuff

AT THIS POINT 

I'm taking as FACT

that you LOVE me 

I don't think you are going to STOP 

because I say this or that

BUT 

I'm a little AFRAID 

that it MIGHT mean that

if I'm walking on eggshells 

I THINK 

I should know that

I'm NOT gonna send your kid

some file of CORRUPTION 

I'm only sending it to 

my IMAGINARY child

I'm NOT looking to f*CK up

any of your STUFF 

I LOVE you 

I perhaps don't know 

WHAT you want 

from me

BUT 

I can't see how I can make clearer

that I'm interested 

to find out

if I'm supposed to be telling you 

what YOU want

THAT is probably a problem 

AND

I'm NOT a BITCH

so DON'T think that

BEFORE 

I did my road trip 

I FELT like we were SOLID 

I remember thinking 

that even though 

my brain was BROKEN 

I felt like

even if you broke my heart again 

it was SAFE to go

I TOLD you that I cried 

EVERY time 

I ALWAYS told you that

THIS LAST time you saw me

I THINK 

& THAT maybe CHANGED everything 

BUT

it shouldn't have 

it wasn't NEW information 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I hope your day is beautiful 

I will listen to the rest of TK

but  I've got stuff today 

👾🫚

❤️

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

VIKKI 

WANTED to watch the ECLIPSE 

I got to listen 

to the NASA feed

I got to remember GREAT MOVIES 

I LOVED 

I was giving off

SOME VIBE I guess

because VIKKI was telling me

STORIES 

from her strident stubborn girlhood

THANKS for sharing 

the ECLIPSE 

with me 

she SAID 

it was JUST NICE 

& it was a FUN 

THOUGHT experiment 

I've THOUGHT about 

what books might I have

for a small child

I've THOUGHT about 

what kind of RELIGION or

vis a vis HOLIDAYS 

BUT 

I NEVER thought

LIKE your midTEEN

comes to you & SAYS 

WHAT was it LIKE 

WHERE you come FROM 

WHAT could there

POSSIBLY be 

that would be RELEVANT 

THAT is my experience of

young people generally 

BUT they are

uniformly older

SO

THEN 

it's more like a very small group 

AND I was then ALSO young

SORRY 

I was trying to THINK 

HOW to explain why it was SUCH a GOOD day 

&

the CAT

&

possibly a very 

FUNNY story about fiddly systems 

I'm sorry TK has to wait 

AND I'm almost out of battery

BUT 

I HAVE to TELL you 

ABOUT my

AWESOME day

(soon)

I THINK I need to specify 

I am legit

thinking you ARE adorable 

BUT 

I'm in a THING

so

it's taking me interesting PLACES

in my BRAIN 

I've not revisited THIS particular 

GROUND

THIS is GOOD 

YOU ARE GOOD 

I LOVE you VERY much 

OH DEAR GOD

is it EVEN POSSIBLE 

for you to be ANY more

ADORABLE 

than you are?

I don't see HOW but

YOU CONTINUE to AMAZE

there is no WAY 

you could POSSIBLY 

be giving me 

GRIEF 

about some LIST

of COOL MOVIES mostly directed by women

SO

I'm just going to PUT 

THAT

OUT of my MIND 

I'm going to go spoil myself on TK

to see if there is any

TIMELY reason to listen NOW 

BECAUSE 

I am like SOMEHOW 

traumatically BACK in my 80s mindset

& I don't WANT to DO this NOW 

I was thinking today

ABOUT those 80s MOVIES 

the brat pack

the cliques

& I can't remember how I felt about them then

BUT 

how I FELT about the 80s

I thought REAGAN was 

LIKE 

the END of the WORLD 

AND

I REMEMBER reading 

in FIFTH ESTATE

about the crack

& the contras

I KNOW there were shiny happy people

in the MOVIES 

AND on TV

BUT 

CAROLYN FORCHE

was telling us about VISITING 

PRISONS in EL SALVADOR 

& I went to PVA

not my "zoned" school 

I mean not a young

child list

I really only have

experience with teenagers 

OBVI

I'm not saying 

I wouldn't 

review & factor in things I'd know

about the fictional child

ESPN owns the NCAA rights

they should offer her $$$

to stay in school

I am not listing

80s movies

for any

LIKE 

nefarious reason

I just never REALLY thought

ABOUT it 

& it only just NOW occurred to me 

that there could be one

BUT 

NOW it has suddenly occurred to me

that you MIGHT think

I'm being a BITCH

& although 

I HOPE that is NOT the case

I AM MAD

&

I have to take a break

from TK

I'm just gonna add to this as I think of stuff & have time, so check back

OK

working at art supply today 

new TK isn't up yet

won't be able to listen until tonight 

I hope you have a beautiful day 

I was trying to think

if I had a kid

what 80s movies

would I show them

BLADE RUNNER (Ridley Scott) obvi

the HUNGER (Tony Scott)

urgh! a music war (Derek Burbridge)

EATING RAUL (Paul Bartel) maybe 

idk

I'm thinking about it 

NEAR DARK (Kathryn Bigelow)

BORN in FLAMES (Lizzie Borden)

SALVATION (Beth B.)

PARTING GLANCES (Bill Sherwood)

MAKING MR RIGHT (Susan Seidelman)

EARTH GIRLS are EASY (Julien Temple)

DO the RIGHT THING (Spike Lee)

VIBES (Ken Kwapis)

I might be having a problem 

TECHNICAL problem 

I'm only seeing 

the last two posts

idk what that's about 

I gotta get up early 

I'm going to 

go to bed

I'm sorry they lost

I LOVE you VERY much

goodnight sweetheart 

👾🫚