is interesting to me
it seems to iron out some of the
PROBLEMS
of earlier
GNOSTICISM
in a VERY elegant way
ALSO
they had this whole angle
which was
ALSO
elegant
they were genuinely interested in
EDUCATING people
at a time when
people
WANTED
education --- which ALSO meant they were becoming the information people were taking to whatever branch of Christian they were
& then of course
the message
wasn't
the
ESTABLISHMENT
message
SO
THEN it became necessary to preach
AGAINST
& THAT
all becomes a LOT less interesting to me
BUT
I've run up against a BIT
I don't understand
it's about there being
a physical self
a soul self
a spirit self
I don't understand where is the distinction
is it LIKE
I'm made of meat
then I have a personality kind of thing
that's like MEMORY files of THIS experience
MAYBE
SEPARATE from
what I assumed to be a SOUL which I assumed to be KINDA riding through
MULTIPLES
of THIS sort of EXPERIENCE
BUT
THEN
WHAT
is
the SPIRIT
I'm not SAYING
HEY babe
I'm, like, a valentinian gnostic now
it's a fiddly little system
but it's fiddly like fjords
& anyway
I don't believe
THEY
didn't THINK
they
KNEW
BUT
it isn't clear to me
at least not from the prof's explanation
BUT
I really don't want to start reading
SECONDARY
materials
the way I'm trying to
CONCEPTUALIZE
although
I'm not all together certain that I
CAN
or actually even whether this is
CORRECT
I THINK your SPIRIT
is a PIECE of you
that is the
SPARK
BUT
SOMETIMES
it seems to be saying
that the spark is like
the BIT of the
ORIGINAL
BREATH
of LIFE
down through the generations
cultivated, maybe
& then
after
DEATH there's this WHOLE PROCESS
where --- ya know how they were working on it
you're spark bit gets rejoined with the
ANGELIC HALF
you are brought BACK into
BALANCE
rejoins the real god
AND
SOMETIMES
your SPIRIT is
MAYBE
the PART that
has GNOSIS
& KNOWS
YOU are
DIVINE
these two seem opposite somehow
in the one case it almost seems like
it wouldn't & maybe even shouldn't
KNOW ME
maybe I'm wrong on that
it just seems like
SPECIFICS
take you
CLOSER to SOUL
& SOUL
doesn't GET you to HEAVEN
BUT
if it's MY divinity
OR perhaps
the UNDERSTANDING
that ultimately
I am a little
PIECE of
heaven
do you SEE where they're
LOSING me
anyway
I was thinking about that stuff
& THEN
I started dealing with
STUFF
& I really
lost some ground there
the sprouts are doing good
they require much less
attention than I was
giving them
I was over watering
I have a bad tendency to over water
which probably comes as no
surprise
THEN
I tend to force myself not to
& THEN forget entirely
UNTIL the plant
DIES
I'm EATING these
SO I'm unlikely to forget about them
DID you KNOW
the WHITE SOX had
a POPE HAT
give away
goodnight sweetheart
I LOVE you VERY much
