Well

This has been a low talk day

But I got this

I don't know if this is interesting but this is what keeps kind of surfacing today

When I was about eight years old I got my ears pierced for my birthday

And at least part of my stated reason for wanting them pierced was that I was going to be a movie star and you needed to have pierced ears to be a movie star now I'm pointifact I'm not sure that you do have to have pierced ears to be a movie star

And since nobody was doing anything to you know stage mother me and it was going to be a really long time before I was going to have any possibility to be a movie star so I don't know why I had to have them pierced at 8

but that was kind of the way I was as a kid a lot it was you know things are going to go this way and here's what I'm going to need in order for that to work out

You know I'm going to need to know this land is your land when I'm in first grade which in fact I didn't because I was at two different schools that were not the one where they had been singing that neither of them saying this land is your land and in fact I don't even know if the one I was in kindergarten did it the next year maybe they do a completely new program the next year

But I'm going to need this and so I want it now so I'm prepared

or maybe not even so I'm prepared but I'm enthusiastic about this thing that I'm going to be doing or having or whatever in the future and so I want it now

and if you pressed me about that same time I don't know if it was a little before a little after

I wasn't really all that fussed about specifically being an actress what I really wanted to do

And the strikes me as hysterically funny now

What I really wanted to do was go on the talk show circuit and talk

I loved Johnny Carson

I loved dick cavit

I just wanted to be famous and go on talk shows

And it strikes me that most of the people that go on talk shows don't really want to go and talk shows

But now everything is podcasts

and I don't really have any podcasts that I listen to regularly

That one that you like so much I don't really listen to that I don't really know what they're talking about I'm not really that into sports

And I've listened to some Marc maron and I like him

It's kind of interesting and I haven't listened to any recently so it's may have completely changed but there was something about his podcast that really always seemed to me like it revealed more about him than it did about the people he was interviewing almost

Like you just fundamentally didn't really have the capacity to see inside other people's heads for how they might be feeling about things

And so often he was kind of treading into dangerous territory in some way or another

I haven't listened to it in a while and I don't feel like I'm exactly characterizing it correctly but it always gave me a great deal of empathy for Marc maron and this sort of quality that he has

And I've listened to some s*** what's his name super famous for podcasting fear factor mixed martial arts f*** I can't remember his name That's terrible it'll come to me I would never be a regular listener to his show it goes on for a really long time and I find him somewhat abrasive as a personality He's a little I don't know alpha male and extremely opinionated but the thing I like about him is that you know whatever his preconceived notions are and whatever his bias he really wants to know stuff and even though he's got this very you know dominating alpha male whatever about him he doesn't let it overpower his desire to know stuff and so he doesn't do what you would expect him to do shut people down you know he wants to hear their story they're not their story so much but they're whatever their information is and he wants to understand things break them down

So where you'd expect him to be arguing with people and shutting them down he doesn't he he'll ask him questions he might argue with him a little bit he'll definitely give him his two cents

And he has a really strangely broad range of topics because he's interested in a lot of s***

But you know

He's not really my I don't know

But he is he is kind of out there and he does have some very interesting topics if you can get around the fact that he's him

And I tried listening to your girls and I couldn't really I couldn't really do it

I couldn't really relate

I tried

But I didn't really try that hard

I guess maybe I would rather listen to sports that I don't know anything about than to listen to women talk about their experiences with men

I'm not sure what that says about me

But I don't know maybe it's just

I tend to think well maybe you're just not enough of a girl you know it's very alienating

But I watched all those people talk about their you know funny sexual encounters and I enjoyed that and some of them were women

So maybe it's just

I don't know I I just don't like it

And I sometimes have listened to in a pod save America or left right and center or you know political stuff and that's you know okay sometimes I enjoy it sometimes I don't

Molly Jong fast has one I keep thinking I should listen to

And Alex Wagner has one now well she's had it for a while but I really like her I might like her podcast I don't know

I used to religiously listen to this American life

And democracy now

And Terry Gross

And prairie home companion

And none of those are podcasts to be clear those are radio shows that I really enjoyed

I listened to that Quaker podcast and I didn't enjoy that at all I did like that one girl but I didn't like the guy at all

I don't know what kind of podcast I would like to listen to

I mean I subscribe to people on YouTube and some of them I've watched quite a bit of for a while I was watching makeup videos and now I never watch those at all anymore well I still watch Alice down the rabbit hole That's more about skin care

And I watch painting things

They're all very visual

I'm not sure what I would just want to sit and listen to that didn't have a visual component

I would like I think a podcast where it was something being discussed that I found really interesting and stimulating just not sure exactly what that would be

Anyway

Maybe I'll have to specifically look for a podcast

Anyway I guess I'm going to go to sleep

I love you very much sweetheart 💋