Okay so I should have gone to sleep about 2 hours ago

My phone personal assistant

Informed me that my birthday is soon until I want to plan anything which I think is hysterical

Can't plan anything

I have health insurance

Blue Cross and Blue shield of Texas

And I didn't have a doctor and didn't necessarily even know how to go about looking up in their book to pick one so I just let them pick for me

And if I have to go to the doctor for any reason I am pretty psyched about this doctor

She is 8 mi from me I'm pretty sure I know exactly which building she's in I think it's the one that's down across from Joyce's seafood restaurant

I was going to tell you her name but that seems silly she's from India she has her degree whatever you call it from Tamil and then she did her residency and like 5 years of work in Australia

Which is kind of exciting

She's got two online reviews with the medical group that she's with and they are both five-star reviews

And there was a picture of her she looks well to be honest she looks kind of young but she's probably about 30 would be my guess

but actually she's probably a little bit older than that because assuming that you're 21 when you get out of college and then medical school is like what like 2 or 3 years of school and then like 2 years of residency and it says she has 7 years of experience so she's probably at least 30 maybe a little older than that

And she looks really confidence inspiring

like she looks friendly but she looks like she knows what she's doing too I don't know how all of that is conveyed in a picture but it is

But my mother

Does not want to get vaccinated

They contacted her in phase 1 you know I mean like she just got contacted last week telling her to make an appointment I assume because she was in the hospital it was the hospital that contacted her although that is the hospital that her medical group uses so I can't swear that the reason why she got contacted was because she was in the hospital but she's older she's got a heart condition she's not in super good health she was just hospitalized a few months ago

She doesn't want to get it

Now I mean I get it

But I really think she should get it

But I can't in all good conscience say something like you know I won't speak to you again if you don't get it because I mean you know we don't know long-term effects there are some risks

And although I don't trust the government either I truly believe that they think this is safe

however it is a type of vaccine they've never done before

And if she points out

This is less time than they usually trial it

And there have been some bad long-term effects from vaccines they've released before

But if she gets this I mean the chances that she would live through it are pretty slim

and the chances that she would have a bad effect from the vaccine are pretty slim

I mean not impossible

But I mean it seems like she should want to do it

but she seems to think that she doesn't have any risk because she never goes anywhere

Which just isn't true

Several times she's butt dialed me

She's been out in public talking to someone

When I've been out with her she touches everything she touches everything and then she rubs her face I mean it's like a 5-year-old

And she seems like she forgets to put on her mask with some degree of regularity although that's just coming and going from the studio and she's not wearing the mask in the studio so I don't know

The covered numbers have really gotten high here

Whereas 6 weeks ago they were maybe not quite even that long ago but before Thanksgiving they were like at 7%. And now they're at like 22%

And she's like well you know that's just cuz they're testing more and I'm like no that's not that's not right the percentage doesn't have anything to do with the number of people being tested You have a math degree

However it's possible that she thought I meant the percentage of the population that had it but I would say still that isn't better

I mean if 22% of the population had it

that wouldn't be better than if 22% of the people that go get tested had it there's no way that could be better

But I don't know how I'm going to make her do it

I'm just kind of afraid that if she doesn't go now when they've called her in that she'll disqualify herself from being able to do it later assuming that there's a later available you know what I mean I mean they're doing old people and doctors right now but there are a lot of people who are working jobs where they have exposure

And they were supposed to do some kind of a production of you know like go back to phase something if it went over 10%, but if it's 22%, they haven't cut anything back they haven't restricted anything they're just you know

So

And she's been saying she's going to live another 20 years and I'm like really You're going to live to be 97

That would be older than her oldest relative

And she's already had a pacemaker for like 5 years and she's got congestive heart failure

And she says that the doctor says that her congestive heart failure is not terminal

And yeah

It just needs to be managed

But

I don't think it makes any sense

To think that you're going to live to be super old when you're not all that healthy and you don't have a genetic predisposition to living to be old and you won't even get the m************ covid-19 shot

So I mean

I think you predicted I was going to live to be 72 so if she lives 20 more years she'll outlive me for sure because I haven't even got 20 more years left I've only got 18 more years left

And maybe I'll live to be older than that but not really any reason to think I should

Anyway lots of excitement

I feel like there's a part of my brain that's kind of spun itself off and it's out somewhere doing something

And the part that's left here has a kind of a limited attention span and a limited ability to think deeply

It's kind of weird though I don't feel like I'm all here

but I don't feel like I'm not all here and oh that's so sad because I'm not really focusing and what a waste I feel more like I'm off doing something important I just don't know what it is yet

Kind of a weird feeling

Anyway got to go to bed

I love you very much sweetheart

You get some good sleep

I'll talk to you in the morning