But if you thought that I guess you should be wrong
I've been down a rabbit hole and I don't even know really how to explain the rabbit hole I've been down it's a multiple day rabbit hole actually that was kind of why I ended up being up so late last night
Because well when I thought about styling the medicine cabinet
And then I said no that's kind of crazy
But then I said no
Not exactly
Cuz you have a lot of things that are health issues not big health issues necessarily but things that cause you a lot of day-to-day discomfort that maybe you could do something about but you don't have those products
I mean I focused on like immune building tinctures and vitamins and things like that but I have all these allergies
And allergy medicine makes me feel bad
And blah blah bunch of things
So I was like okay well if you were just going to deal with all of your issues and have the things in your medicine cabinet that you would have to fix those things what would you have
Cuz the tinctures the tinctures aren't really ever going to go in a medicine cabinet there's too many of them well no I mean I imagine they'd fit in a medicine cabinet but you know when I use them I'm putting squirts into a glass of water right so I'd have to make water and take it into the bathroom and I have an aversion to that so
The tinctures are a separate thing that's more of a mixed health cocktail and it needs to be organized and streamlined a little better than it is but it's not really a medicine cabinet thing
But I've kind of morphed into this routine where I'm washing my face with a soapy cleanser and using a konjac sponge and or a vibrating rubberized thing that I got real cheap
I've been wanting one of those foreo things for a long time but I just didn't know if it was a thing that was going to work for me you know cuz I bought that clarisonic and that was the beginning of all my skin issues or my major skin issues like years ago up until that point I feel like my skin was okay but I think I damaged my barrier and then I got started on this whole like picking thing which is not to say that I didn't pick my face at all before but it just became much worse after that point because I became obsessed with getting all the stuff out of my pores which I hadn't been that obsessed with before so chicken on the road I don't know which was the the worst part but whatever anyway I wanted a foreo and they're expensive and I was not going to buy one
I was going to wait until I could find something that was you know about $20 that was like a knockoff and I found this one and it was $25 and I love it I love it I love it I love it and it doesn't have the problems that the clarisonic did because it doesn't have bristles that kind of move and then you're moving the thing around your face and whatever this is like it's just a silicone thing with some little nubby things so as long as you don't like scrub real hard you just kind of move it around it's pretty gentle and it vibrates and it's it's great I'd love it and I feel like it's helping to clear my pores and all that stuff not that they're completely clear I still have pores and whatnot but
Okay that was a long wind up I've been going into my medicine cabinet cuz that's where I keep it every morning and every evening now in this whole kind of routine and so that made me look at my medicine cabinet and go man some of the stuff that's in there is really old and you don't know what it is and it needs to be reorganized and it needs to be cleaned and you know I just haven't really done that because the medicine cabinet was not configuration that I found very convenient and so I wasn't really using it
But then I had this kind of vision of it being like a place where I went to the medicine cabinet and got the things that I needed from the medicine cabinet to like you know enhance my life or whatever
I guess the maybe the two three I don't know I haven't lived any place that had a medicine cabinet for a long time before I moved here and it's kind of a weird it's off to the side it's whatever anyway
And in the fashion magazines that I used to read they often would have these like you know pictures of this or that celebrity what do they have what exciting things do they have in their medicine cabinet you know
And that was where the whole kind of styling the medicine cabinet fantasy came from it was kind of a combination of things
But instead of taking everything out of it and putting things in it in a way that looked pretty that were just kind of like things that were already someplace else you know I thought well you know you really don't have things that you need when you had the cyst you had to go to the store and buy what you needed for the cyst right and you have allergy pills that you don't take because they make you feel bad You have them like in a drawer and when it gets to the point where you're like the balance has tipped far enough that now I feel bad enough that I need to take them I'll take them but then I was like you know when I was younger
Like when I was in college I used to get a sinus infection I got these allergies and I would get a sinus infection from the allergies persistent allergies every year and one year I was really busy in college and I really just did not have time to go to the doctor I just really didn't and so I called him and I'm look I'm like look Dr Orzeck that may not be how you spell it I can't really remember I have that sinus infection that I get every year that you write me the prescription for amoxicillin for could you just call me in a prescription for amoxicillin cuz you know I've got it I get it every year and he's like no I can't call in a prescription you have to come in and see me and I'm like well I don't have time to come in and see you I'm really busy with school right now so are you sure you can't just call it in for me and he's like no and I'm like well then what do you suggest I do and he's like you know take to aspirin and force fluids or something like that
And it made me mad you know
And I mean maybe it was his medical ethics maybe but it didn't feel that way to me it felt like that he didn't care about me he only cared about making his money so well that's true or not that was how I felt and so I started looking around for something else I could do
And I went to moveable feast which was over closer to me at that point it wasn't all the way across town it was Right there on Alabama Street it's just a few blocks down from where I lived I mean and there's a couple miles but it was easy to get to and they had something called sinusitis by Boiron which was a French homeopathic company and I was like well I don't know whether I believe in homeopathics or not it doesn't sound right but you know there's this thing here and it might work and you know have time for this so let me just try it and the antibiotics that he would give me I would take the full 10 days dose I never took less than the full 10 days dose or whatever it was I think it was 10 days and I never felt any better
I mean he had said I had a sinus infection and we had every reason to believe that I had a sinus infection and after the 10 days maybe I didn't still have the sinus infection my mucus was usually clear instead of yellow so I assumed that I didn't have the sinus infection anymore but I still felt bad it didn't feel any better right the symptoms had not abated it just the there was some reason to think I might be better but I didn't feel better does that make sense
So with this homeopathic stuff I took it for 3 days and I mean you take it like every 2 hours or something you take it pretty frequently but I took it for 3 days and I felt completely well
Like night and day from the antibiotics
And I mean even though I got allergies again for a while there I would just when I would get allergies really bad I would use that stuff and it would fix me up right
And then at some point I just kind of got away from doing it I couldn't find it yeah I went in to moveable feast to try to find it again and a guy who was working there was like he made some kind of comment about oh boron yeah we've got hemorrhoid stuff from them and it was like dude I'm not looking for him right stuff why are you telling me about him right stuff you know I mean he just made it seem like that I was crazy somehow and I could never find it again anyplace else
And so I just kind of you know gave up on it
But I was like you know your allergies have been really bad why don't you just check you know boiron and see what they've got
And I remember what the first ingredient was I don't remember all the ingredients but I remember the first ingredient was belladonna cuz I was like that's poison why is there poison in their medicine but homeopathics are all these like microdoses of things that have the same effect on your body as whatever the sickness is and somehow that stimulates your body to do the right thing or something I don't know it's they always say it's kind of like a vaccine but it isn't really
Which is why it never made sense to me and I didn't really believe in it but you know when you take something and it works that pretty hard not to believe in it so they have something that has that same ingredient as the main first ingredient and it's like sinus calm or something like that so I ordered that
And I just kind of went down and the list of you know what are your issues that you have that you're not addressing that whatever you're doing or not doing it isn't fixing them and so it's just an ongoing thing that makes you feel like s***
And for each of those things I kind of researched and tried to find something that was you know not the obvious commercial product that I probably would not like but instead kind of an interesting more you know kind of natural non-toxic
On Twitter there had been this whole big discussion one time about Vicks and how it cures everything right and so then people started talking about kind of the medicines that they had growing up and they was this cough syrup that was mentioned it's like honey loquat something that is apparently really really common in Asian families and that sounded really interesting to me so I was like well you know let's give that a go so that's already come and I've tried that and it's great and I got that neti pot nose spray and that's great and just taking those two things I feel like 95% better and I haven't the sinusitis thing came today but I haven't used it yet and
There's a couple of other things but then I had a lot of debate back and forth about I'm trying to get like as much as possible multitasking products so that I don't have a ton of stuff that I have to buy and most of these things that I've found are pretty cheap for a depeding rub you know they're like tiger balm but I never liked tiger balm it was messy stay in your clothes and it's a little bitty pot and you're trying to stick your finger in it and scoop out enough I just tiger balm was never my thing
But especially now that I have the anxiety my neck and my shoulders are just like so tense that they really hurt and I really need some sort of muscle stuff so I looked and looked and looked and looked and there are a lot of things
But I found this stuff again that's really inexpensive that is for Thai kickboxers and you know I just thought about all the times that I'm like it's like being you know kicked by a mixed martial arts blah blah blah you know I've used that description a bunch of times to describe what my you know various different pains are like and so I'm like yeah Thai kickboxers that's what I need
But then I want something kind of like a Vicks that I can put on my chest when I sleep that you know cuz when I wake up in the morning I'm so congested and I'm so it's awful it's just awful so I wanted something I could put on my chest but I I don't like Vicks so I mean I just don't do it right You know I'd like something like that but there isn't anything so I just say oh well and just go on with my business right but I'm like no if you want that if that would help you find something that you would like that you can use but there were a lot of things for that too and I went on and on and on and you know I guess if I had used tiger balm for my you know muscle stuff I guess I could probably have used that for my chest as well cuz tiger balm the whole point of tiger balm is apparently it cures everything kind of like a Vic cures everything because that mentholatum stuff is just magic I guess
But what I found is another tie thing it's called sang pure maybe
Which is a very popular it's like the maybe the number one brand in Thailand but this is their yellow balm which says it's extra hot so I don't know maybe that won't work but it was like a little pot that was like you know $5 as opposed to the bigger things that were more so I'm like well you know we're going to try that and if it's too hot then maybe you can use it for something else but they're main one apparently you use it if you've got sore muscles or you know if you've got a stomach ache you rub it on your stomach I mean it's like it's just supposed to be good for everything and I thought about getting the regular one I did but it was an oil and I really think that a balm is better for rubbing on your chest and whatever anyway so that took me a really long time because so we're just a lot of variables a lot of moving parts but I'm excited about it
And then it's like well you need something for headaches and that bomb is for my headache too You know you put it on your temples but I have had not the best luck with you know rubbing essential oil things on my temples although in fairness most of the ones that I've had were like peppermint and lavender or peppermint or lavender I mean everybody seems to think that those are the essential oils that help headache and that's never really done much for me
So I'm not sure that a kind of a methylated thing is going to do it so then I thought maybe maybe I want homeopathic
So I started looking at all the homeopathic stuff and there was the one stuff for headache but I was like well I don't know cuz it was particularly kind of headache and I think that my headaches are largely either sinus which the sinus eye does stuff will take care of or it's tension which is a muscular thing I mean sometimes it's probably something in my brain but I mean I've got Tylenol and I would like to get to where I didn't use Tylenol at all because you know it's toxic and whatnot but I just wasn't too sure about the homeopathic headache stuff I did not think that was going to do it for me
But then they had homeopathic menopause stuff and I'm like well you know the menopause is a big problem for you
But the whole point is you're taking like a little bit of something that would give you the symptoms that you have and it stimulates your body to fix it or whatever but the whole point of my menopause is that my symptoms are not necessarily the normal symptoms right so I was like well I just don't have a lot of faith that that's going to work
But then I came across this video that was talking about maca and red clover isoflavones
And are taking maca before and I had good results with that I wasn't taking it specifically for menopause because I wasn't having menopause yet then
And the red clover isoflavones I'm a little leery about them
When I was much younger like in my 20s somewhere I was looking for herbal remedies for something probably menstrual related but possibly it was just some kind of female balancing thing I don't really remember
But red clover was supposed to be like a female tonic herb so I got some red clover and my body reacted to it very badly the way it reacted very badly to the soy things I mean when I tried to put soy on soy facial products on my face it broke me out really really badly and periodically I had had issues with soy causing me to get hives or you know whatever I don't know
And so I mean I think maybe my estrogen levels were just a little bit too high anyway and so then when I introduced more estrogen my body was just like get this out of here we don't know what to do with it we cannot use that no abort abort you know whatever something it didn't like it
So but now my body has been super craving soy but I've had to cut back on my coffee because you know I was having the anxiety and the heart palpitations and whatnot and I had to make that go away so I couldn't drink you know three giant cups of coffee and you know that are half soy and half coffee so you know I may not be getting enough soy isoflavones but I'm not sure what the recommended dose is for the red clover isoflavones but I suspect that the amount I will need is less so I found this one that was recommended by the video but all they sell now is double strength and I'm like I don't think I want double strength and I think the reason why they switched to double strength was you know they wanted to raise the price a little bit maybe and you know some percentage of the people were having to take multiple pills a day anyway so if they made it double strength and kept the same number of pills then for a lot of people that would work out to be more cost-effective it would last a longer whatever so they just did that
But you don't seem to be able to buy the single strength anymore and I don't want the double strength so then I had to go back and forth and back and forth but I'm just afraid you know I've got my face pretty much clear now I really don't want to start with something that's going to make me you know have extreme hormonal acne but then again if I was getting a lot of soy isoflavones I need to replace some isoflavones and there's apparently you know studies with this particular pill that it was like 84 to 87% effective in reversing all these symptoms and maintaining bone density and you know helping heart cuz one of the things if you don't take the hormone replacement therapy you don't have to worry about all the breast cancer and ovarian cancer and cervical cancer but you do have to worry about heart attacks it's like yay
And this pill supposedly has is 84 to 87% effective and the hormone replacement therapy is only like 90% effective or something like that so it's really really close and of course you can buy all kind of red clover pills but they don't have they don't have them standardized for the isoflavones I can't find anything else I mean they're probably is something else but I couldn't find anything else that was standardized for the isoflavones so I went ahead and ordered that but I may have to cut the pills they look as though their tablets and can be cut as opposed to some kind of gel caps that couldn't so I guess if it's too strong for me I can cut them
But it's just been this big kind of exciting adventure to kind of solve my problems which I kind of thought I had before but clearly I didn't because I had all this stuff and none of the tinctures that I've ever taken seem to really do much for my allergies at all when they do all kind of other stuff I think but they don't seem to do anything for my allergies
So that's kind of what I've been doing my neck and my shoulders are so tight just so like not it up and tense but I think I've been having fun
So I don't know is that normal
I'm not sure any part of that was normal
The realization that I just kind of don't have any medicine cabinet stuff that I'm willing to use you know
And yet somehow just didn't have a real clear realization that I don't have any sort of I don't know plan to just deal with my everyday issues I really don't quite understand how that happened I mean I think it just with the allergy I think I just tried a bunch of different hours you medicines and they all made me dizzy or Spacey or psychotic or some other kind of unpleasant thing like they dried up my sinuses in a way that made them hurt really badly so it just at some point I just said well you know I just have to suffer through this because the alternative is worse but then I have this post nasal drip and then I have this cough and you know now if when I went out to lunch with my mother the other day and I was coughing it's like now if you cough it's like I don't know it's like a taboo you just don't cough or sneeze or any of that kind of stuff because it makes you seem sick so then I was like I really need to do something about this and it just all kind of came together with this idea about the medicine cabinet
Which made it like a quest to make a thing perfect which is the kind of thing that I get off on apparently to just spend a lot of time visualizing and creating a thing it would be more useful I think if I did it in a way that produced something that was more I don't know like money producing
But you know it's about joy and self-care and kind of art in a way
And I did find on eBay for pretty cheap a couple of antique bottles I got one that's a an old bare bottle that has like bare printed in the glass on the side that I'm going to put my tile and all in cuz Tylenol comes in a really ugly plastic container and then I also found for pretty cheap on eBay and old alcohol bottle it's glass and that isn't really the important thing but alcohol used to come in bottles that were a particular shape and it doesn't anymore and for some reason that makes me really sad and so I found this old bottle
And I mean those things are kind of silly
I don't really need to be spending money on antique bottles to put in the medicine cabinet you know I mean that is kind of styling it but it's going to make me happy every time I look at those and it wasn't a lot of money so
Anyway whatever it's been like an hour an hour and a half and I'm almost at a battery and it's really late now I need to go to bed
Goodnight sweetheart I love you very much 💋
